(((((((Theresa))))))))) I am very very very very proud of you for following through with your doctor's appointment today! (standing ovation...clapping loudly....extremely relieved that you went). :kiss
I agree wholeheartedly with everyone else who has commented to you thus far...do NOT become discouraged...keep your doctor appointments, call him if you do not notice any change occuring after a couple weeks or three max. Do NOT stop your medication without your doctor's permission. If the drug gives you side effects that you can't handle....CALL YOUR DOCTOR....FIRST! It's not unusual to be switched to a different antidepressant if one doesn't work for you as it should. It took three for me to get the right one.....but the main thing is stay consistent in taking the medication, and GET INTO THERAPY! The medication can only do so much, but the real healing needs to come through therapy so you can deal with what has been causing you to want to hurt yourself, etc.
There is NOTHING at all for you to feel embarrassed about when you need to talk to someone about your situation, the medication, the stress factors. If embarrassment had it's way, and frightened a bazillion other nurses, doctors, and other professionals away from asking for help with their depression, they (we) would NOT be on an antidepressant, and then there would really be a nursing crisis to talk about.....doctors too.
Stay prayerful! Stay positive! Stay hopeful! Stay encouraged! :kiss