To my friends here, please read...

  1. To my friends her on all
    I am sorry for the delay in my posts and chat. I have had the unfortunate circumstance of a loss close to my heart, and have been trying to heal and help those around me heal.

    On March 15th, my best friend and basically a sister to me was found unexpectedly deceased in her home at 0805 in the morning. The cause of death is unknown at this time, and having so many unanswered questions have made it very difficult to move on with the grieving process for me and her family and multitude of friends. She was 32 years old, and all we know at this point is that CPR efforts had been done for close to an hour, but unsucessful to revive her.

    My friend was one of those people that cared so much for others, always put a smile on your face, and just being near her made you feel so warm and comfortable. She was a huge fan of Mickey Mouse, and people would always find a trinket or two with Mickey on it and got it for her just to make her laugh and smile! She was loved so very much by everyone in the hospital I worked in EVERY department (she worked there 5 years), and is very very missed.

    I met her my very first day at nursing school, and she and I have been close like sisters ever since! This has been 10 years of one of the best relationships with a friend I have ever had, and I feel honored and lucky to have had this relationship with her for so long. She was directly responsible for having me realize that I can be a funny light hearted go getter that finds caring and compassion is done by being human and using laughter to educate and tend to those that need me. Whereas I had to work on it, she did it naturally...and I have never met a finer person in my life! And now that she is gone, a large part of my heart in mending slowly and at time with much sadness and torture.

    I will be okay eventually, however I have not been very social outside the direct family and friends that need my support (and I theirs) as we deal with this sudden life changing event. Many of her friends and all of her family have looked to me for support and comfort, and as I am happy to do is taking a slow toll on me as I need to grieve too. But those that know me know I will tend to their hearts, and when I feel they are able to move on...then I will tend to my own with the comfort of knowing they are okay.

    I felt letting my friends here know what has happened will help with those of you trying to contact me or wondering where I am. I am at home guys, I am hurting, I am crying, I am healing...and I am thinking of her so fondly and with so many happy fun memories that it seems to take all my energy and time. Everything in my home reminds me of her (she spend many days here, infact two weeks before her death...she came here to our country home to relax after rough workweeks of two jobs), and there isn't a moment that goes by when I don't think of something that reminds me of her. It will take time, but I am trying to resume somewhat of my normal days...and being here is certainly one of those things!

    Huggles all!
  2. 52 Comments

  3. by   Ann RN
    I am so sorry for your loss.
  4. by   donsterRN
    Oh, Triage, I am so very sorry. I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Gentle hugs to you.
  5. by   PurrRN
    My heart goes out to you. How awful that you are having to go through the loss of a dear friend. It's never easy, and the pain, while it may never fully be erased, does fade with time. I'm sure you are a great source of strength for those grieving around you. Please take care, and I'm so sorry for your loss.
  6. by   Silverdragon102
    sorry for your loss
  7. by   Cattitude
    i am so sorry for the loss of your friend.
  8. by   traumaRUs
    I am so sorry. It is a wonderful tribute to your friend - your kind words.
  9. by   NeosynephRN
    I am sorry for your loss, you, your friends and family will be in my thoughts and prayers
  10. by   Imafloat
    I am so sorry for your loss. Your friend sounds like a wonderful person and I will be praying for all of you.
  11. by   NaomieRN
    I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your close friend. May God be your comforter in this difficult time.
  12. by   nursesaideBen
    Triage, I hate to hear that about your best friend. I hope that soon your questions surrounding her death will be answered and that time will allow you to grieve. My thoughts and prayers are with you :icon_hug:
  13. by   fgoff
    So sorry to hear of your loss!
  14. by   leslie :-D
    what an honorable tribute in keeping her legacy alive.
    i can truly feel the essence of this young woman who sounds like one of the richest persons i've read about.
    so go ahead triage; laugh and cry til you can't take it anymore.
    it is these memories that only serve to bless us with her presence, her gifts and her uniqueness.
    here's to a peaceful healing.