Thoughts by Andy Rooney

  1. Number 9 - Life is sexually transmitted.

    Number 8 - Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

    Number 7 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and H***y. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich!

    Number 6 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

    Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

    Number 4 - Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

    Number 3 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

    Number 2 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

    Number 1 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
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  2. 4 Comments

  3. by   Thunderwolf
    I like number 4.

    Fran, this was so funny!!!!
  4. by   URO-RN
    I love # 3: All of us should could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
  5. by   live4today
    Quote from Franemtnurse
    ...........................Number 7 - Men have two emotions:
    Hungry and H***y. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich!.............
    Well, I'm not a man, and one of my emotions is "H***y.
  6. by   CHATSDALE
    good post...isn't #8 right

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