Things you should not say to a police officer...

  1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer

    Sorry Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in

    Aren't you the guy from the Village People ?

    Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to catch me -- Good job !

    I thought you had to be in good physical condition to be a police officer

    I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead

    Bad cop ! No doughnut !

    You're not gonna check the trunk, are you ?

    Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence

    Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on "Cops" ?

    Is it true that guys become cops because they can't work at McDonald's ?

    I pay your salary !

    So... uh... you on the take, or what ?

    Thanks Officer, that last cop only gave me a warning, too

    Do you know why you pulled me over ? OK, just so one of us does

    What do you mean, "Have I been drinking ?" You're the trained specialist

    My gun fell off my lap and got lodged on the gas pedal

    Hey, is that a 9mm ? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum !

    Hey, I get one of them full body cavity searches ?

    Do you have any idea how much of a hurry I'm in ?

    You're lucky this car needs a tune-up or you'd have never caught me

    Yes, I know the light was red, but nothing was coming

    In California we drive like that all the time, what's the problem ?

    If you'd try the stuff I just had, you wouldn't be so damn uptight

    Aren't there real crooks somewhere you should be catching ?

    Well, those two other guys didn't stop for that school bus either

    Yes, I saw your lights on, but I thought you going to get a doughnut

    Just had to try out that new siren, didn't you ?

    I saw the ambulance, but I was going faster than him anyway

    Do you have any idea who you're talking to ?
  2. 3 Comments

  3. by   Blackcat99
    Thanks for the laugh.
  4. by   Thunderwolf
    Here are some more:

    No that's not marijuana...that's just incense

    The broken tail light just happened, no problem...the jerk wouldn't move when I backed up

    Proof of insurance? mean you have to have insurance?

    Hey, didn't I date your daughter?

    You want me to get out and walk a line?...Hell, I'm lucky I can drive right now.

    Hey, I wasn't speeding. Everyone was driving too slow!

    I know I hit the guy's dog in the yard, but I did miss the kitty cat in the road.
  5. by   CHATSDALE