I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer
Sorry Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in
Aren't you the guy from the Village People ?
Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to catch me -- Good job !
I thought you had to be in good physical condition to be a police officer
I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead
Bad cop ! No doughnut !
You're not gonna check the trunk, are you ?
Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence
Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on "Cops" ?
Is it true that guys become cops because they can't work at McDonald's ?
I pay your salary !
So... uh... you on the take, or what ?
Thanks Officer, that last cop only gave me a warning, too
Do you know why you pulled me over ? OK, just so one of us does
What do you mean, "Have I been drinking ?" You're the trained specialist
My gun fell off my lap and got lodged on the gas pedal
Hey, is that a 9mm ? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum !
Hey, I get one of them full body cavity searches ?
Do you have any idea how much of a hurry I'm in ?
You're lucky this car needs a tune-up or you'd have never caught me
Yes, I know the light was red, but nothing was coming
In California we drive like that all the time, what's the problem ?
If you'd try the stuff I just had, you wouldn't be so damn uptight
Aren't there real crooks somewhere you should be catching ?
Well, those two other guys didn't stop for that school bus either
Yes, I saw your lights on, but I thought you going to get a doughnut
Just had to try out that new siren, didn't you ?
I saw the ambulance, but I was going faster than him anyway
Do you have any idea who you're talking to ?
Mar 28, '05
Thanks for the laugh.
Mar 29, '05
Here are some more:
No that's not marijuana...that's just incense
The broken tail light just happened, no problem...the jerk wouldn't move when I backed up
Proof of insurance?...you mean you have to have insurance?
Hey, didn't I date your daughter?
You want me to get out and walk a line?...Hell, I'm lucky I can drive right now.
Hey, I wasn't speeding. Everyone was driving too slow!
I know I hit the guy's dog in the yard, but I did miss the kitty cat in the road.
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