Things Hallmark Cards Do not Cover:

  1. >
    > My tire was thumping..
    >I thought it was flat
    >When I looked at the tire..
    >I noticed your cat.... Sorry!
    >Heard your wife left you,
    >How upset you must be.
    >But don't fret about it...
    >She moved in with me.
    >Looking back over the years
    >that we've been together,
    >I can't help but wonder...
    >"What the hell was I thinking?"
    >Congratulations on your wedding day!
    >Too bad no one likes your husband.
    >How could two people as beautiful as you
    >Have such an ugly baby?
    >I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love.
    >After having met you I've changed my mind.
    >I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
    >I never believed in Hell until I met you.
    >As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
    >That you're not here to ruin it for me.
    >Congratulations on your promotion.
    >Before you go...
    >Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
    >You'll probably need it again.
    >Happy birthday! You look great for your age. Almost Lifelike!
    >When we were together,
    >you always said you'd die for me.
    >Now that we've broken up,
    >I think it's time you kept your promise.
    >We have been friends for a very long time .
    >let's say we stop?
    >I'm so miserable without you
    > it's almost like you're here.
    >Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
    >Did you ever find out who the father was?
    >So your daughter's a hooker,
    >and it spoiled your day.
    >Look at the bright side,
    >it's really good pay.
  2. 2 Comments

  3. by   URO-RN
    :chuckle :chuckle
  4. by   CHATSDALE