There is life after depression!!!!

  1. Seven weeks ago, I came to this board needing support and advice. So many of you reached out to me with kind words and encouragement and you'll never know what it meant to me. At the time I wasn't certain what my problem was, I just knew that I had lost my sunshine and no longer had a smile to give. I felt isolated and alone, even though I have a wonderful husband and daughter and a job that I love. My hours were filled with fear of the unknown future, dread of each new day, I wanted to sit at home with the doors closed and the shades drawn, never answering the phone. I just wanted to be alone. This is not like me, not in my normal personality. I knew I needed help so I made an appointment and went to see my MD. He ran tests to rule out possibilities and then came to the conclusion, I was suffering from chronic depression and severe anxiety. So he started me on Paxil, increased my Xanax and gave me Darvocet to control my pain. Seven weeks later, I feel I have been reborn, given a second chance to really LIVE life. I know now that this was not something that happened overnight but has been starting and getting worse for years. It took a couple of life changing incidents to occur to bring it to full steam and I felt I was falling deeper and deeper into a pit that I would not be able to get out of. The best part of what makes me who I am was getting lost to stress and worry. But today I can say, I am free. My energy level is unbelievable. I feel like a shiny new Corvette, sitting at a stop sign, gunning my motor, just waiting to fly. I have lost 21 pounds in 7 weeks. I no longer need to stress eat. I eat to live, not live to eat. After a year of feeling empty and cold inside, my husband and I are having a mad love affair and have fallen in love all over again. Instead of hiding inside my darkened house, I'm working outside in the yard, hubby was stunned! And I'm even getting ready to expand my experiences in life and we are buying a Grand Jeep Cherokee, complete with a tent to put on the back and we are going camping. Never done that before but I love nature so I think I can handle it!!! Everyone at our workplace has questions DH cause my energy level is so improved, I'm working circles around the younger gals. They all want what I've been taking! They are all wondering about the camping thing, seems they think I'm too prissy, a city girl......WOW, I love a challange. I wanted to share my joy with all of you but I have a much more important reason for writing all of this. If just one person on this board is wondering if they suffer from depression, or is having difficulty handling stress, is worrying constantly to the point that life is no longer a joy to live, or if they are having panic attacks, I just want you to know, there is help, you just have to call your MD and take the first step. I had many doubts that anyone could help me. Even as a nurse, I just couldn't believe a pill would change how I was feeling. I was very lucky, not everyone has the results I have had on the first medication, but if you have an MD you trust, he'll work with you till he finds an answer. No one should loose their sunshine, life can be bright again. I have found my faith again, I am looking up and I know that God's grace has given me a second chance to live life to it's fullest and I plan on making every day count. If any of you have a problem like I had, PLEASE, get help. There is life after depression and it is wonderful!!!!! I'm sending hugs to all and thanks for listening. I guess I just needed to shout it from the roof tops cause I feel like I'm busting all over!!!!!:kiss
  2. Visit duckie profile page

    About duckie

    Joined: Jan '04; Posts: 0
    BSCN peds/nicu


  3. by   judy ann
    Oh dear Duckie-- I am so happy for you. I know what you mean about the deep pit (mine was a sucking vortex) and the blessing of coming out to the sunshine again. Until one has had the experience of depression, one cannot begin to imagine what it is like. So many times I heard "Just cheer up", "Brush it off","Ignore that feeling, and it will go away". It doesn't. I agree, get help. We give help to others every day, but so often don't take the opportunity to make our lives as fulfilling as they might be. I think sometimes we feel that we are indistructable.

    To finish off this posting, Hooray for Duckie!!!!:kiss :kiss :kiss
  4. by   Sleepyeyes

  5. by   Jenny P
    DUCKIE, I'm SO glad you are back!
    I've been praying and thinking about you whenever I've been here; hoping to hear this joyous message!

    Ding, dong, the depressions' gone;
    Sing it loud, sing it strong;
    Ding dong the depressions' gone from you!
    It's gone, it's gone it's gone it's gone!
    Our dear Duckie's back,
    She won't turn back,
    "cuz the sun's come shining through!
    Ding dong, Duckie's here,
    sing it loud, sing it clear!
    Ding dong the depressions' gone from you!

    (my apologies the the Munchkins in the Wizard of Oz for trying to borrow their melody and forgetting how it goes!) :imbar

    (it's amazing what happens when I don't get enough sleep)
    Last edit by Jenny P on Jun 23, '02
  6. by   Sleepyeyes
    Go ahead, Duckie, put 'em on!

  7. by   RNforLongTime

    I'm so glad that you are better! Thanks for the words of encouragement! Good luck and I'll continue to keep you in my prayers!

  8. by   LasVegasRN

    I've noticed there are a lot of us here on anti-depressants, myself included. The good thing is we are treating it instead of continuing to live in a horrible cloud of depair. I haven't reached that feeling of a BRAND NEW CAR (using my Price is Right voice) but I'm getting there and get a lot of support from everyone here. :kiss

    Congrats!! :hatparty:
  9. by   jevans
    Dear all and particularly Duckie

    Depression is a tough issue I'm sure we all experience at some point in our lives BUT it takes a huge amount of strength to go and get help WELL DONE

    Many years ago after my second child I was sooooooooo ill BUT failed to get help. I spent 2yrs in a fog, completely manic not understanding that I was hurting the people I loved most.

    Eventually it resolved but at the time was afraid to seek help in case I could not Nurse again.

    So to anyone out there who achieved to get support -

    :kiss (((((((((((( hugs))))))))))))) and luv and support, any time just call
    :kiss :kiss :kiss
  10. by   live4today
    Hi Duckie...RIGHT ON!!! I am so glad you are feeling much better, and especially to hear the medication is working so well for you. Keep up the good work, and have a great campout experience with your hubby. :kiss

    Many health care professionals are on antidepressants...I am one of them. I was leary about taking one, so I kept saying no to my doctor as he tried for six months to encourage me to take them. First, I insisted on having a hormone panel done just to make sure I wasn't entering menopause. I mean, why would I take an antidepressant if I was really entering menopause and needed hormone replacement therapy. My doctor kept telling me he didn't think I was entering menopause yet, but that he would go ahead and order the hormone panel. The results of the hormone panel came back and reassured me that indeed I was not menopausal, so only THEN did I agree to TRY the antidepressant. I had tried two other antidepressants before finding the one that works best for me...Celexa...and for almost two years now...I can say, I totally know that I was extremely depressed and needed help beyond what my hormones could do for me. :chuckle My new doctor (we moved to another post since my old doc started me on the meds) wants to wean me from Celexa to see how I would do without it since I've been taking it for almost two years now, and my hubby says if she touches my medication he'll have her head. HE even notices a major change in me, but my kids don't like that I'm taking it. They think all I need is lots of money, a NEW and RICH man, and a few loooooonnng trips to some exotic island...and of course spend all that money they wish for me to have on them. :chuckle Kids...gotta love 'em!
    Last edit by live4today on Jun 23, '02