"you got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run"
Okay I realize I am quoting a country song so that must mean I'm in a sad mood or something but still forgive my ramblings below ....
I have been away from the board lately for no other reason then the fact that I have been anticipatory grieving......no one in my family is ill or anything thank god I'm speaking about my relationship situation ,or what have you..
I met this wonderful guy when I was a mere 18 years old , fell instantly , relationship grew into one of the most meaningful bonds I think I will ever have with a person. He is my best friend.
we had the usual make up break ups and make ups that are pretty common but now I have hit a new obstacle.... I feel like this relationship may have completely run its course.
This person used to make me feel loved, as though I was truly the mo st beautiful person on the planet - you just cant get better than that feeling! I dont feel that way anymore.
My mom always told me that I would give more to a person in life then I would probably get back , its just my nature...I've seen that come to fruition in friendships before but never a relationship, until now. It would seem so simple , it would seem like I just have to buck up and call it quits.
but when you have all these feelings invested into a person thats so difficult to do. My problem is , I believed this was my person, my one person, I thought we would get married,we talked about the future , pondered what our children would be like , the whole nine yards and to have that kind of go up in smoke is tearing me apart.
I will be 26 years old in January , and that is young , I'm aware but I had always hoped I would be with someone at this point to build a future with (I thought I had that)
we all want the same thing, to get the love we give to a person in return..... to know that someone thinks the world of you and loves you not despite your flaws but in part because of them.
I reached that point with this person but I now believe its not reciprocated.
the I love you's have all but stopped, anniversaries pass, I always wrote him a letter or told him how much he meant to me , and as of the last "anniversary" I got nothing, I'm not materialistic, I am pathethically easy to please but just cant buck up and say "you know what I feel taken for granted" or "you are not giving me what I need anymore" why? partly because I'm a coward but partly because this person is my best friend...
its selfish to stay in a half assed situation , I just dont know what to do...
thanks for listening, I know that many of you have been where I am , and I have poured my heart out on many occasions ... I'm not afraid to be alone (well maybe a tad afraid hehe) I just fear that I will never have those feelings of love again....
I have so much to give , and no one to appreciate it
its all your fault ppl , your meaning of love threads and the answer to the question of what is love threads got me started
someone stop me before I start watching terms of endearment or something.......