The Washcloth

  1. I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week.
    Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's office to tell me that I
    had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45 am. The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any time to spare.
    As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when
    making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to make the
    full effort. So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in "that area" to make sure I was at least presentable. I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment.

    I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in.
    Knowing the procedure, as I'm sure you do, I hopped up on the table,
    looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or
    some other place a million miles away. I was a little surprised when the doctor said, "My, we have made an extra effort this morning, haven't we?" I didn't respond.

    After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The rest
    of the day was normal... some shopping, cleaning, cooking, etc. After school
    when my 6 year old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, "Mommy, where's my washcloth?" I told her to get another one from the cupboard. She replied, "No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my glitter and sparkles saved inside it."
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  2. 11 Comments

  3. by   dianah


    This kinda reminds me of the time I was getting some special attention "down there" after a couple of suspicious paps.
    "now," the Gyn started, " we COULD do a couple of biopsies right now, but you haven't gotten any sedative, and we couldn't give you any, as you drove yourself."
    Me: "Just do the biopsies, I don't want to come back. I'll tell you if I can't take it."
    So there I am, feet hanging in the stirrups, doing my modified LaMaze breathing, focusing, the Gyn and her assistant busily working, the discomfort increasing as they worked . .

    And my cell phone rang.
    The assistant glanced up at a me, eyes wide.
    "It's my husband," I said, "would you hand me the phone?"

    Dh (in frustrated tone): "Youngest ds lost his lunch box, and we've tromped all over the school looking for it, and I'm late picking up oldest ds, I need you to go pick him up, and we'll meet you at home."

    Me: "I can't."

    Dh: "Where are you??"

    "At the OB/Gyn, I had an appointment." (discomfort increasing)

    "Oh. What are you doing?"

    "Well, my feet are up in the stirrups and I'm getting a biopsy." (discomfort escalating)

    Silence.


    Dh: "Oh. I'll pick up oldest and we'll meet you at home."


    By this time the bx was done, and the Gyn and her asst were giggling as I tried to apologize for the interruption.

    "Oh," the Gyn smiled. "No problem. He distracted you enough that we were able to finish. But it IS the only time I've ever had someone talk on the phone during an exam!"

  4. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    Lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  5. by   leslie :-D


    GREAT story.....at first i thought it was highly inappropriate the md making that type of comment but once i heard about your dtr's glittery washcloth....well, that was priceless.

    i guess your dtr will have to start her project over again, yes? :chuckle

    leslie
  6. by   jnette
    OMG, that's just tooooooooooo funny !!!
  7. by   Roy Fokker
    Quote from jnette
    OMG, that's just tooooooooooo funny !!!
    jnette! Does this mean you can hear us now? :chuckle
  8. by   leslie :-D
    Quote from Roy Fokker
    jnette! Does this mean you can hear us now? :chuckle
  9. by   SmilingBluEyes
    rofl good one!
  10. by   z's playa
    I heard this story before but I cant remember where yet. I love it though. Thanks for posting it.
  11. by   BeachNurse
    Someone emailed me this one a couple months ago...
  12. by   DutchgirlRN
    "Mommy, where's my washcloth?" I told her to get another one from the cupboard. She replied, "No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all m]ter was playing, she called out from the bathroom,y glitter and sparkles saved inside it."
    That is just wayyyy tooo funny! Thanks for a good laugh!
  13. by   DutchgirlRN
    I was telling a co-worker about what happened to you and she told me about her grandmother, of all people!, who had a similar experience. It seems her grandmother had to go the the GYN and grabbed some smell-good spray from under her grandaughters sink and sprayed it between her legs. Turns out it was spray-on body glitter!

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