The things a mother teaches

    "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning!"

    Mum taught me RELIGION:
    "You'd better pray that will come out of the carpet."

    Mum taught me about TIME TRAVEL:
    "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

    Mum taught me LOGIC:
    "Because I said so, that's why."

    Mum taught me FORESIGHT:
    "Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident."

    Mum taught me IRONY:
    "Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about."

    Mum taught me about the science of OSMOSIS:
    "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

    Mum taught me about CONTORTIONISM:
    "Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

    Mum taught me about STAMINA:
    "You'll sit there until all that spinach is finished."

    Mum taught me about WEATHER:
    "It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

    Mum taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS:
    "If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen then?"

    Mum taught me about HYPOCRISY:
    "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't exaggerate!!!"

    Mum taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION:
    "Stop acting like your father!"

    Mum taught me about ENVY:
    "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

    And most of all ..... Mum taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:
    "I brought you into this world-and I can take you out."
  2. 3 Comments

  3. by   Love-A-Nurse
    these are great! you will never hear me say any of these!:chuckle
  4. by   kimmicoobug
    Man, flashbacks to MY childhood....
  5. by   cwazycwissyRN
    How about teaching warning signs of trouble
    The words little missy......or your first and middle name being called