The Tandem Story (Sound Familiar?)

  1. Subject: Humanities: Literature



    Prime example offered by an English professor from the
    University of Phoenix:

    From a class exercise.

    "Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem
    story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the
    person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework
    tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story.
    You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another
    copy to me.

    The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another
    paragraph to the story and send it back also sending another
    copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph,
    and so on back and forth. Remember to re-read what has been
    written each time in order to keep the story coherent.

    There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and
    anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail.

    The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."

    The following was actually turned in by two of my English
    students:

    Rebecca (last name deleted), and Gary (last name deleted).

    ---------------------
    THE STORY:

    (first paragraph by Rebecca)

    "At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted.
    The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings
    at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in
    happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must
    now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness
    was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her
    asthma started acting up again.

    So chamomile was out of the question.

    -----------------------------------------------------------
    (second paragraph by Gary)

    Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack
    squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things
    to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic
    bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night
    over a year ago.

    "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17,?%?*?? he said into his
    transgalactic communicator.
    "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so
    far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
    flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
    his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him
    flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

    ----------------------------------------------------------

    (Rebecca)

    He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not
    before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing
    the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon
    afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the
    peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law
    Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read
    in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously
    excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming
    of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree,
    with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her
    sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her.
    "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
    pondered wistfully.

    ---------------------------------------------------------

    (Gary)

    Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.
    Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership
    launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted
    wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
    Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a
    defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were
    determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after
    the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
    Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet.
    With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical
    plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere
    unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret Mobile submarine
    headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
    inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid,
    Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed
    his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to
    veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"

    ----------------------------------------------------------

    (Rebecca)

    This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature.
    My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate
    adolescent.

    ----------------------------------------------------------

    (Gary)

    Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose
    attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium.
    "Oh shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other
    sort of F**KING TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an air headed bimbo
    who reads too many Danielle Steele novels."

    ----------------------------------------------------------

    (Rebecca)

    A*shole.

    ----------------------------------------------------------

    (Gary)

    B***h.

    --------------------------------------------------------

    (Rebecca)

    D**K!

    ---------------------------------------------------------

    (Gary)

    S**t.

    ---------------------------------------------------------

    (Rebecca)

    Get f**ked.

    ----------------------------------------------------------

    (Gary)

    Eat s**t.

    ---------------------------------------------------------

    (Rebecca)

    F**K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!

    ----------------------------------------------------------

    (Gary)

    Go drink some tea - wh**e.

    (TEACHER)

    A+ - I really liked this one. Only group to get an A
    •  
  2. 1 Comments

  3. by   newkynurse
    Oh my god!! That was too funny!! LOL LOL LOL Im totally cracking up!! Too bad they couldnt finish it...it was just starting to get good too!
    Quote from betts
    Subject: Humanities: Literature



    Prime example offered by an English professor from the
    University of Phoenix:

    From a class exercise.

    "Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem
    story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the
    person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework
    tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story.
    You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another
    copy to me.

    The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another
    paragraph to the story and send it back also sending another
    copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph,
    and so on back and forth. Remember to re-read what has been
    written each time in order to keep the story coherent.

    There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and
    anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail.

    The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."

    The following was actually turned in by two of my English
    students:

    Rebecca (last name deleted), and Gary (last name deleted).

    ---------------------
    THE STORY:

    (first paragraph by Rebecca)

    "At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted.
    The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings
    at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in
    happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must
    now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness
    was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her
    asthma started acting up again.

    So chamomile was out of the question.

    -----------------------------------------------------------
    (second paragraph by Gary)

    Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack
    squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things
    to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic
    bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night
    over a year ago.

    "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17,?%?*?? he said into his
    transgalactic communicator.
    "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so
    far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
    flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
    his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him
    flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

    ----------------------------------------------------------

    (Rebecca)

    He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not
    before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing
    the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon
    afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the
    peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law
    Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read
    in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously
    excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming
    of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree,
    with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her
    sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her.
    "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
    pondered wistfully.

    ---------------------------------------------------------

    (Gary)

    Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.
    Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership
    launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted
    wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
    Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a
    defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were
    determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after
    the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
    Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet.
    With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical
    plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere
    unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret Mobile submarine
    headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
    inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid,
    Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed
    his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to
    veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"

    ----------------------------------------------------------

    (Rebecca)

    This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature.
    My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate
    adolescent.

    ----------------------------------------------------------

    (Gary)

    Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose
    attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium.
    "Oh shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other
    sort of F**KING TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an air headed bimbo
    who reads too many Danielle Steele novels."

    ----------------------------------------------------------

    (Rebecca)

    A*shole.

    ----------------------------------------------------------

    (Gary)

    B***h.

    --------------------------------------------------------

    (Rebecca)

    D**K!

    ---------------------------------------------------------

    (Gary)

    S**t.

    ---------------------------------------------------------

    (Rebecca)

    Get f**ked.

    ----------------------------------------------------------

    (Gary)

    Eat s**t.

    ---------------------------------------------------------

    (Rebecca)

    F**K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!

    ----------------------------------------------------------

    (Gary)

    Go drink some tea – wh**e.

    (TEACHER)

    A+ - I really liked this one. Only group to get an A

close