The "Two-Cow" Explanation

  1. A CHRISTIAN:
    You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.

    A SOCIALIST:
    You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your
    neighbor.

    A REPUBLICAN:
    You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?

    A DEMOCRAT:
    You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being
    successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you
    to
    sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then
    take
    the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel
    righteous.

    A COMMUNIST:
    You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with
    milk.

    A FASCIST:
    You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk.
    You
    join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.

    DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:
    You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to
    sell
    both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which
    was
    a gift from your government.

    CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE:
    You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

    BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:
    You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks
    the
    other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.

    AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
    You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the
    milk
    of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

    A FRENCH CORPORATION:
    You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

    A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
    You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of
    an
    ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

    A GERMAN CORPORATION:
    You have two cows. You re engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat
    once a month, and milk themselves.

    AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
    You have two cows but you don't know where they are. You break for
    lunch.

    A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
    You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You
    count
    them again and learn you have 42 cows.
    You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows
    and open another bottle of vodka.

    A MEXICAN CORPORATION:
    You think you have two cows, but you don't know what a cow looks like.
    You
    take a nap.

    A SWISS CORPORATION:
    You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you. You charge for
    storing
    them for others.

    A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION:
    You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American
    corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation
    declares
    bankruptcy.

    AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
    You have two cows. You worship them.

    A TALIBAN CORPORATION:
    You have two cows. You turn them loose in the Afghan "countryside" and
    they both die. You blame the godless American infidels.
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  2. 3 Comments

  3. by   Stargazer
    Oh, man. That was funny. Everything from "Bureacracy" on down made me LMAO. Stealing this now to forward to friends--thanks, Susy!
  4. by   kennedyj
    sweet. Im copying it too.
    thx Jared
  5. by   kewlnurse
    2 Bulls are sitting ontop of a hill, one a fresh, spunky new bull, and the other a old experienced bull. They are overlooking a big herd of cows and the young one say "hey, lets run down ther and screw one of the cows!", the old cow says "no, we'll walk down there ans screw them all."

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