the next speach President Bush should make....


    My fellow Americans:
    As you all know, the defeat of Iraq's regime has been completed. Since
    congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in
    Iraq is complete. This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of
    all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30

    It is now time to begin the reckoning.

    Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which
    have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The
    United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the
    countries listed there. The other list contains everyone not on the first
    list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary
    be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

    Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those
    nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved
    during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi
    war. The American people are no longer going to pour money into third
    hellholes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption. Need
    help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

    In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money
    toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home.

    On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we
    hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the
    earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe

    To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. You, boys. Work out a peace deal
    now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to Russia
    for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big tables,

    I'm ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France,
    Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades.

    We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

    I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN
    diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid tickets
    to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I
    don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. Pay your tickets
    tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over
    some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.

    A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are going
    to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not
    pissing us off for a change.

    Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government
    really need an attitude adjustment. I have a couple extra tank and infantry
    divisions sitting around. Guess where I'm gonna put 'em? Yep, border
    security. So start doing something with your oil. Oh, by the way, the
    United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty--starting now.

    It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens.
    Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them be saying darn tootin.'
    Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the
    world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the
    planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate
    homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup soccer from

    To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you.

    To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Adios.

    God bless America. Thank you and good night.

    sorry guys...couldn't help myself...i would love to hear this speach...
  2. Visit athomas91 profile page

    About athomas91

    Joined: Aug '03; Posts: 1,188; Likes: 25


  3. by   Mkue
    I kind of like the idea of ceasing foreign aid, that would save us a bunch of money, and would allow other countries step up to the plate and help third world countries. I think it is time for us to start focusing on our own citizens.
  4. by   Spidey's mom
    That was the funniest thing I've read in days . . . . I too wish he could actually say it.

    Especially the part about World Cup Soccer . . .. :chuckle

    Thanks for the laugh.

  5. by   fergus51
    I never fail to get dissapointed and saddened when I read something like this. It might be funny to me if I actually thought that people were joking.

    Unfortunately it is also just incorrect and ignores certain facts. Like those countries on list 2.... Well, being Canadian and knowing that we have stretched our military to the breaking point by our participation in Afghanistan and stayed with the popular support of Canadians from coast to coast (even after suffering casualties from US pilots on speed I might add), and knowing we have contributed to and cooperated with EVERY facet of the war on terror other than Iraq (I mean, we even let US border personell work out of our ports! Can you say "national sovereignty erosion?") and even in Iraq we're giving hundreds of millions for you to rebuild a country we didn't want you to attack in the first place........ it makes me really sad to see we aren't really friends of the Americans. Apparently the American definition of "friend" leaves no room for different opinions. If so, you can't even count Britain, Spain or Australia on list one, cause their people disagree with their government's stance on Iraq as well. Personally, I appreciate a friend who is honest with me when I screw up. I didn't love our last Prime Minister, but I do firmly believe that you can't stand side to side with a friend if you have your lips locked on his a$$ all the time and that has been the stance of too many Canadian politicians towards Americans over the years.

    As far as NATO, sure drop out. And then we Canadians can get out of Afghanistan and stop being such bad friends to you by helping to stabilize that nation. I mean, we weren't attacked on 9/11, so why should our young men be dying over there for you if we aren't friends? Especially considering we are now a target like Spain for participating and helping the US after she was attacked (cause that was a part of our NATO obligation). I am sure the 1500 or so troops we have there would be pleased to spend the spring in Canada rather than Kandahar... I hope you can forgive us for going there in the first place.

    As far as foreign aid.... Sure, cut it off. We're a good Christian nation and we should ignore poverty and suffering of any of God's children if they do not hold an American passport. And while we're at it, I guess we'll have to stop collecting all that debt money from them so they can use their money to improve their own countries as well.... And let's not pretend we have earned the emnity of the world for trying to help everyone lead a better life.

    How the American government has managed to alienate so many isn't a mystery to me, but how the American people can revel in it with delight is. Being a dual citizen has never been harder than in the last year.

    Sorry if this is a bit of a rant, but I just think it's so sad.
    Last edit by fergus51 on Mar 15, '04
  6. by   nekhismom
    I think foreign aid is a good thing to an extent. We give too much and we need to worry about our own country first. I'm not saying stop it all, but greatly reduce it is good. And canada and mexico BOTH helped with the INITIAL war....when it was focused on TERROR, not Saddam and Iraq solely. Many Americans did not want us to go into Iraq, so I can not see cutting diplomatic relations with our closest neighbors just because they happened to disagree.

    We need to stop playing police to the world. We need to worry about our own country first. We need to stop invading soverign countries with democratically elected leaders. We need to stay out of other county's civil wars. We need to increase border security for all of our borders to protect all of our people. But severing diplomatic relations with nations who have been our allies, and who continue to work with us in intelligence collection, will not help anyone. Ditto to leaving NATO.

    I think many of the suggestions on this list would set the stage for world war III. And we don't want to go there without any allies. THAT would be STUPID.
  7. by   pickledpepperRN
    The US aid to Haiti stopped several years ago.
    Last edit by pickledpepperRN on Mar 15, '04 : Reason: correct error
  8. by   fergus51

    Americans need to stop kidding themselves into thinking that the government is giving away all their money in foreign aid or that we are trying to police other nations out of a sense of morality. We do what is in our best interests. 18 billion in foreign aid in 2004, mainly to countries that are either not poor or not free. Now, that is a nice chunk of money, but it ain't gonna pay for Iraq, not even close.
    Last edit by fergus51 on Mar 15, '04
  9. by   fergus51
    These are some links to Cpl Jamie Murphy, the last Canadian soldier killed in Afghanistan in January. He was 26 years old, from Conception Bay, New Foundland. He had previously served in the Balkans and was supposed to be going back to Canada less than 2 weeks after he was killed. He was planning on proposing to his girlfriend. It wasn't his country that was attacked on 9/11, but he sacrificed himself anyways for YOU and ME. Next time you want to insult his country and say it isn't a friend to the US, I hope you'll think about him cause he has sacrificed more in the war on terror than you have.
  10. by   Noney

    I just want to let you know not all Americans wanted the mess in Afghanistan. Also we don't dislike Canada. It's such a complex matter. I don't think the OP meant to stir up hard feelings.

  11. by   fergus51
    Noney, I certainly don't blame America for the mess in Afghanistan. The taliban were a terrorist regime, and NATO was right in participating in the invasion and the post war reconstruction (Canadian popular opinion is that we should be there).

    What offends me is this notion that any country that doesn't bend over and do whatever Bush tells them to isn't an ally. Last I looked, Canada was still a sovereign nation. I wish I thought the OP didn't mean to stir up hard feelings. I just don't. I don't see how you can say something so inflammatory and then pretend you didn't know it would be hurtful. There seems to be a growing number of Americans who have no understanding for anyone who feels differently than they do (on both sides of the political spectrum).

    I can't think of anything more insulting than saying we aren't friends in times of need. Most Americans have no idea what Canada has or has not contributed to the war on terror and they might want to look at what some Canadians have sacrificed before making such statements. Would the op say that to Cpl Murphy's family? I doubt it, I don't think he's that disrespectful intentionally, but it is still a sore spot for me. I feel like I spend all my time defending Canada to Americans and America to Canadians.
  12. by   nekhismom
    thanks for the article about foreign aid, fergus. I always knew we were trying to buy people with some of the money. One would be somewhat of a sucker not to suspect as much, I would think.

    Not all Americans dislike other countries. Not all Americans are for the war in Iraq, and many who are or were have been mislead as to the necessity of the war. But I think EVERYONE world wide is concerned about terrorism. In some countries, americans may be looked upon as terrorists. Who knows? But I'm sure NONE of us can deny that canadians, brits, americans, austrailians and others have died in Iraq senselessly. And I think most of us know that having allies in this day and age is a MUST.
  13. by   elkpark
    I think the "speech" is offensive drek. Unfortunately, this is essentially what Shrub has already been saying to the world, which is why so many of us consider him an international embarrassment ...
  14. by   fergus51
    You know, the more I think about it, the more I think he should give this speech. Don't like the way the world does things, then take your ball and go home. It is immature and self-destructive, but at least then he could get off the cross... I'm sure someone could use the wood.

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