The neighbors from hell!

  1. If you don't mind, I have to vent about my neighbors. They have got to be the most disfunctional people I have EVER known. Two parents who work in a deli from 0430 'til 8pm-9 sometimes. Five of their kids are living at home at this time and one grandson who is five y/o. The daughter who is 22 and is the mother of the 5 y/o lives there when she wants to. She's too busy (if you know what I mean) with the BF, stays at his place most of the time and I wonder if she remembers that she even has a son to tell you the truth. Next in line is the 17 y/o who works at the deli all day also and then goes to her BF's about 6 or 7pm. She's OK, she comes home at night at least. Then you have a 14 y/o who has the brains of a 9 y/o... Special ed classes and every word out of her mouth is "F" this and "F" that. Next there is 13 y/o son who's only dream is to be a real good skateboarder, but he's ok, he plays with his friends most of the day doing what, who knows... he's never home. Then here comes the 10 y/o adopted girl who's only dream in life is to get laid to put it in plain english. The only words she knows I can't type here because I'll be banned! She watches the five y/o with her friend, who's only dream is to become a ****. Now this little boy is going to school in September and I don't think he even knows what the color red is or what #1 looks like. My daughter tells me the 10 y/o taught him how to french kiss the other day and last year she taught him what oral sex is all about.....NICE! There are no adults around these kids alllllllll day long and night and it bothers me to no end that this poor five y/o is being raised by these juveniles. His mother doesn't care about him, she's never home and the grandparents could care less that their grandson is running the streets at 0100 with their 10 and 14 y/o. Why are some people so GD stupid?!? I tell them to take him home and put him to bed and they turn around and tell me to go "F" myself! It takes a village to raise a child, but come on, take some responsibility with your kids and grandchild. I am this close (//) to calling the Division of Children and Youth because it's just plain neglect and abuse as far as I'm concerned the way these kids are. They have no adult supervision at all, no guidance whatsoever. They get no attention from any adult. No wonder they crave sex so young. It's just plain sickening!!! When will some people ever "GET IT"?
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  2. 25 Comments

  3. by   SmilingBluEyes
    can you say

    DHS call?
  4. by   cwazycwissyRN
    When I saw the title to this thread I was paranoid that you were probably my neibor talking about me.
    I have been on vacation the last few weeks. I had my 24 year old daughter house sit....water my flower beds and feed my animals. I will not go into detail of all the events that occured in my home while I was gone.....the end result is this letter that I am giving her in the morning.




    CHOICES

    I have had much time to stop and think clearly about choices. Somewhere along the line my focus changed. It changed from trying to teach you about making positive choices with your life.......to learning how to make positive choices about my own life.

    I CHOOSE TO NO LONGER BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR LIFE OR YOUR CHOICES.

    I wish you the very best and will pray for you to have the strength to make a wonderful world for yourself and your son.

    I am no longer responsible for feeding you, clothing you or giving you money. I am no longer a source for you to use to do your laundry. You will no longer have any control over my life. It is apparent you do not respect my life or my home. You do not like being around me .......you need me. You put up with my "moods" in order to get your needs met.

    You are choosing to live a life I do not understand. It has been going on for longer than I would like to admit to myself. It starts getting better.....then back to the old ways WE go. Your world you have been choosing is not a world I choose to be sucked into any longer. I see now how much of my life is spent in that world.

    A world of being a victim is not a place I choose to live and have not lived in for over 20 years now. I can not share your victim role with you. I find I am surrounded in my own home with a life you choose. The roller coaster of drama in your and your friends lives is a world I do not choose One event after another is a constant source of confusion..emotion.... and money. You will not violate my home or my life any longer...in the manner that you did in the last 10 days. Crisis without responsibility or ownership is not a life I choose to endorse for your.

    I have a world .......a world that is based on being responsible for my actions. A world where I am responsible for a husband, a son, a home and a job. These responsibilities are my focus now. I hope and pray that at some point you choose to share in MY world. I simply not longer choose to share in yours.

    I simply no longer choose to share in your world of being a victim.....depending on others to meet your needs.

    Every decision I have made in my life has been in the best interest of my 3 kids. This is one of them. You are smart and I know you know this is what is best or you.

    I have always gotten over it in the past and have reverted back to being your care taker. I hope I have the strength to fight this weakness in myself for your sake. There is one difference in the way I feel this time....... that may get me through it . I think if I revert back to being your caretaker again it is not because I am weak or nurturing....... it is because I a m plain out stupid. Stupidity is something I will not label myself with. I have fought my whole life to prove to the world that I am not stupid. I wish you the best with your plight with the world......to prove the same.

    I need my house key back ASAP
    I would like to see Hayden every tuesday from 1 oclock to 5 oclock....more if possible.


    mom

    I hope the neibors forgive my lack of judgement....to allow someone I thought would behave as an responsible adult, that ended up behaving in such an inconsiderate ======manner.



  5. by   Jay-Jay
    {{{{Cwissy}}}} That must have been a very difficult letter to write, but I applaud you for it! At some point, parents have to stop being doormats, and get the baby birds to 'fly' on their own.

    I just pray that your daughter 'gets it' and comes to understand why you have done what you've done, both for her own sake, and that of her son.
  6. by   cwazycwissyRN
    Thanks Jay-Jay, I have spent the last two days with my heart in my throat and tears in my eyes. She has got to wake up and smell the roses......I am fearful for her. Thanks for the support.
  7. by   jemb
    Night Owl -- sounds to me like the call to Child Protective Services is overdue! Not only is there no adult supervision in any of the kids' lives, but it sounds like the 5 year old is being sexually abused. Wouldn't surprise me if the 10 year old is/was also. They need some intervention from somewhere.
  8. by   night owl
    Ohhhhhh boy... That's some little note; took alot of guts to write and I applaud you for it too. I bet and hope she'll see the light now. I think I'll print it out for when I may need it. (for my son) It's perfect. Some kids need a brick to fall on their heads in order to wake them up. I feel my son will be one of those kids too. He's 17, soon to be 18, an adult in September. This last year he got a car and seems as though he's forgotten all about school. Found out he skipped half the year and now has to repeat his junior year. He's got a job, but he's always asking me for money anyway. When I don't give it to him his anger is something I really don't want to talk about. I am ashamed and embarrassed, but sometimes I fear him. My husband and I have tried to be the best parents we know how, but somewhere we went wrong I guess. Maybe we spoiled him too much, I don't know. See, we're all NOT perfect parents. Gee, maybe Brian can start new forum for us called "the parents place" where we could get together and talk about our parenting problems and maybe help each other out and lend each other support. I'm sure we all could use it at some point or another... After all, nurses are parents too.

    LOL cwissy, I wish my neighbors were only here for a few weeks... They're ALWAYS here! I think I'll make that call in the morning. These children need me to make this call...They won't like it, but it is in their best interest. Do they have to know that I made it? I think if the 5 y/o is removed from the home, I don't want them to know that I was responsible for his removal.
  9. by   gwenith
    Night Owl a teb year old teaching french kissing!! Sounds like abuse and child services will probably think so as well. Just be careful and only report what you have directly witnessed.

    Chrissy!! What a difficult and heart rending letter to write but if it has come to tough love then you have to stay tough for all your sakes. She will probably be very angry with you for a while and will try to go bakc to the way things were youwill just have to keep saying no quietly and firmly. Your most important task is to stay calm and firm. Do that and any ill feelings will only be temporary.
  10. by   Tweety
    It's amazing how some parents shouldn't have kids.

    cwazycwissyRN, what an awesome letter. Perhaps this will be the beginning of a turning point in her life, a positive direction. If not, well you've done what you had to do. Good luck!
  11. by   H ynnoD
    I'd make the call,Nightowl.Some people just should'nt have kids if their not going to take the responsability to raise them right.And Cwissy I believe your doing the right thing,my parents had to cut me off to get me going in the right direction.My mom let me sleep on the couch for a couple of months when I was 26,but did'nt let me get comfortable.We all learn to fly sooner or later.
  12. by   FROGGYLEGS
    It would probably be very uncomfortable to report someone to children's services, but it sounds like that is what needs to be done. I wouldn't want them to know that I was the one who reported them either. I would think that who reported the information would be confidential. I would ask.
  13. by   SmilingBluEyes
    (((CWISSY)))) I am so sorry for what you have been through. Lord knows, we can only do our best and hope our kids can make the right choices. It's all any parent can do. I wish you well, Cwissy.

    Nightowl:

    I have made that call to CPS before on neighbors I KNEW were doing grave damage to their kids much like above. It was:

    Uncomfortable
    Scary
    Intimidating (so many questions I had to answer)

    I felt:

    like a BUSYBODY
    NOSY
    Rude----

    ----However justified, It was NOT easy. BUT I could not sit by and let the abuses go on, knowing darn well I could do at LEAST something. The things you describe are classic signs of neglect and abuse. I know it would be hard to do, to make that call; they are your neighbors and no one wants to be the neighborhood busybody...BUT what if something happens to those kids some day and you knew you should have, could have called? It's up to you. I am sorry for what you are witnessing and have to live with ---it's just awful. I wish you and those kids the best!
    Last edit by SmilingBluEyes on Jul 16, '03
  14. by   colleen10
    Hi NightOwl,

    I had neighbors, while not as bad as yours, who had a whole lot of issues.

    No one likes to be the neighborhood know it all but calling CYS would be the most appropriate action. While uncomfortable as it is, may be at least you can get the ball rolling. I cannot believe that they were actually able to adopt another child!!

    I have a question as a beginning nursing student. I thought that I had read a few times on the board that Nurses have a legal and ethical obligation to report any incidence of abuse/neglect. Is this true? And if so, does it also include incidences a nurse may witness while off duty?

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