the moderator speaks

  1. I have written many many posts this week, only to erase my words before they were ever posted because I have been completely unable to find the right words to express myself. I guess what it all boils down to in the end is "as ye sow, so shall ye reap."

    This forum will be exactly what YOU make it. If you want heated emotional rhetorical debate, then expect barbs, jibes, and innuendo, and outright hostility to follow. And expect that those emotions and actions carry over into other threads and even other forums, because we are humans and we don't turn our emotions on and off like faucets.

    The idea behind off-topic was to provide a place where things other than nursing issues could be discussed and where people could get to know another a bit...a virtual breakroom. But, like the breakroom where we work, we are still in a public place and our voices can be heard outside, so we still have to maintain a modicum of decorum.

    When we evoke our freedom to say whatever we want to whomever we want whenever we want, what do we give up in return?
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  2. 27 Comments

  3. by   Q.
    My response to your post Aimee is: with freedoms comes responsibility. It's that simple. Responsibility for your actions, or, in this sense, responsibility for your words. And that includes ALL members, not just those whose words are found to be offensive by a greater majority.

    In addition, I think remembering, as Shay once said, that this is NOT YOUR LIFE. We have a hard time remembering that although this is a public forum, we control just how much of it we allow into our living rooms each day and evening. We don't have to read everything, respond to everything. Obviously, seeing as there were apparently threads of offensive and racial nature related to this prn nurse issue that I never read. Even as Brian said, with 20,000+ members and posts each day, it's quite possible to skip over quite a bit of them.

    If people want to say what they want, so be it. But then expect backlash in return. If members say things that are deemed unfit for this board, per allnurses.com, then suffer the consequences of being banned that have been outlined prior to your membership. If you say things about a person that are percieved as mean or immature, but not in line with being banned, then suffer the consequences of other members not approving of your words or reaction to a situation.

    That's all I have to say, I guess. Thanks for the post Aimee.
  4. by   karenG
    yes this is a public forum- and we do need a place to let off steam, but that does not mean going out our way to be offensive. I am a firm believer in 'do unto others what you would have done unto you'. I also believe that whatever we do is returned to us threefold- so if I am nice, I will get nice things back!! seem to work!

    I also agree that we do not have to read all the threads, I chose which to read and which to ignore.

    I do appreciate this forum- and the fact that we can air anything. long may it continue!

    Karen
  5. by   live4today
    I agree with all of you thus far. Also, if I am warned not to post graphic material, I expect everyone else to be forewarned not to do the same. What is right for one, should be just for all. No more "playing favorites" among us, Brian. I am the least of your worries when it comes to posting graphic material. Shall I send you a list of names of members who post far more graphic artwork and graphic wordings than me discussing my "marital union" with my husband? I'd be more than obliged to.

    So, members......be careful what you say and post or it will be used against you in the court of Allnurses.com law!

    Sincerely posted,
    Renee
    Last edit by live4today on Oct 17, '02
  6. by   SmilingBluEyes
    I agree w/Suzy about responsibility. We must be accountable for our expressions here, (and in real life), but not take it all to heart. I dont' let anything anyone says here poison my real life. My only concern of late was that things were getting increasingly ugly especially w/what one member was saying and the impression it would leave newcomers with if they joined in the midst (let alone lurkers who are just testing the waters).

    I see NOTHING wrong w/heated debate but there is a RIGHT way to engage-- and a wrong way. One can express his/her thoughts in the strongest way possible, registering his/her disagreement without getting ugly and personal. When it sinks down to that level, I no longer take that person seriously and tend to ignore what he/she says from that point on. I welcome opposing views and so many of you are much more eloquent in speaking your minds that I could hope to be. Some of you WOW me w/your intelligence and expression; this is why I love to read and engage in debate here. I read such posts several times in order to glean some understanding and merit. Isn't that what debate should be about? Not just making noise or tooting your horn loudest???

    That said, I agree. This board IS what we make it. I think we can make it user-friendly w/o being anyone being falsely nice, but just using basic courtesy. Ok I have said too much, as usual. But you know how I feel ....
  7. by   RNIAM
    aimeee
    I realize that this is not my BB to moderate. I however agree totally with what you said. I will share a portion of what I posted on another bb here. I wrote that Brian had alot of restraint when he dealth with this situation. I would have more that one person. When you have the option to say whatever you want to say, care should be taken not to attack. Defend your position,yes by all means do that. Don't slam each other. The differnce between a discussion, debate, and a fight is the amount of crap being flung around(sorry, can't think of a better analogy) I do not enjoy the fact that someone was banned but to be honest maybe it made a few of you sit back and think. Is it worth it? I have many wonderful internet friends on here, I would be so sad if I couldn't come here and see how everyone was doing. It is not something I would ever risk losing. I love a good debate, just remeber the topic is what is being debated, not the person.
    That is my whole speech.
  8. by   RNIAM
    I meant that I would have banned more than one person,sorry.
  9. by   CATHYW
    originally posted by smilingblueyes
    i agree w/suzy about responsibility. we must be accountable for our expressions here, (and in real life), but not take it all to heart...
    that said, i agree. this board is what we make it. i think we can make it user-friendly w/o being anyone being falsely nice, but just using basic courtesy. ok i have said too much, as usual. but you know how i feel ....
    i agree with you, smilingblueeyes! i also agree with (and thank) aimee for her post. suzy, your post was excellent, also. there will always be those who feel that their rights supersede the rights of others. whatever the root of their belief, we all know that it is wrong. aimee's analogy of the breakroom is an excellent one. you know that whatever you say there can be heard by anyone outside, and when you finish talking with whomever, you have to return to work with that person. it is best to use good manners and good judgement when using strong words. as someone's quote on the board says, "you want the words you say to be sweet, in case you have to eat them." there is a familial element here, as well. in that context, we kind of pick on each other sometimes, as ones are known to do with real siblings. in this case, brian is the big daddy (nod to vegas) who keeps us all in line, as well as our mother-images, such as aimee. those of you who are parents know that it is impossible (even with eyes in the back of your head) to see all that your children do, at all times. brian and the moderators are in the same situation. so, let's be good folks, and be kind to one another, even in the spirit of debate. it can be done!
  10. by   plumrn
    Nicely done Aimeee. Just because we have the freedom, doesn't
    mean any and everything SHOULD be said, ANYWHERE.
  11. by   hoolahan
    Well said Amy!!
  12. by   Ted
    . . . and just one more very important question. . . .

    Do you really spell your name with three "e's" ?????

    Just being stupidly curious. . . .

    Cheers!

    Ted

    (Or is it normally spelled, "Aimee"?????

    Cheers!
  13. by   aimeee
    Actually it's usually spelled Amy. Had to be unique for the board.
  14. by   Ted
    Originally posted by aimeee
    Actually it's usually spelled Amy. Had to be unique for the board.

    That's how my wife spells her name!!!!!



    Cheers to you, Amy!

    Ted

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