Texan Folk

  1. i thought yall might enjoy this, a few of you may get it, and a coupel of yall might relate to it, god knows i do!

    i'm a texas girl born and raised!:d


    things you will lern about texas and texans

    armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the
    air.

    roadrunners don't say "beep beep"

    there are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in texas.

    there are 10,000 types of spiders. all 10,000 live in texas, plus
    a couple no one's seen before.

    possums will eat anything.

    armadillos love to dig holes under tomato plants.

    if it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.

    nothing will kill a mesquite tree.

    you cannot find a country road without a curve from corner to
    corner.

    texas has 5 seasons:

    spring, feb 16 to april 15

    summer, april 16 to july 15 (temp 90 to 98 degrees)
    super summer, july 16 to sept 10 (temp 100 to 115 degrees)
    summer, sept. 11 to oct 1 (temp 90 to 98 degrees)
    fall, oct 2 to dec. 1
    winter dec. 2 to feb 15

    "onced" and "twiced" are words.

    fireants consider your flesh as a picnic.

    "coldbeer" is one word.

    people actually grow and eat okra.

    when the world ends, only cockroaches and mesquite trees will
    survive.

    when you live in the country, you don't have to buy a dog. people drop them off at your gate in the middle of the night.


    the sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the
    first couple of weeks.

    when a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to
    go to the doctor.



    "fixinto" is one word, as is "goan" - go on, or "comon" - come on

    the word dinner is confusing. there's only lunch and then there's
    supper.

    "backards and forards" means i know everything about you.

    "jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning "did you eat?"

    you don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what
    time it is.

    you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

    you've had to switch from "heat" to "a/c" in the same day.

    stores don't have bags; they have sacks.

    all the festivals across the state are named after a fruit,
    vegetable, grain, insect or animal.

    you install security lights on your house and garage and leave
    both unlocked.

    you carry jumper cables in your car ... for your own car.

    you know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" is.

    you know whether another texan is from east, west, north or south texas as soon as they open their mouth.

    there is a dairy queen in every town with a population of 1000 or more.

    going to wal-mart is a favorite past-time.

    you describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili
    weather.

    a carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop ... it's a
    coke, regardless of brand or flavor.
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  2. 18 Comments

  3. by   LasVegasRN
    EXCELLENT! :chuckle
  4. by   tiger
    i relate. i'm texan too. born and raised. and you haven't lived until you have held on to your horses mane as he swims across the tank. we had great times as kids.
  5. by   WashYaHands
    I'm originally from San Antonio. I left at the age of 26 with a military spouse. I can relate, thanks for posting those, cowgirl. And, I agree with tiger, had a great time as a kid in Texas

    Linda
  6. by   mattsmom81
    One day a Texas gal and a New York woman shared a row on an airline flight.

    The Texas gal, being the friendly type, eventually turned to the woman and pleasantly said "Hi, I'm Cindy from Dallas, Texas...where ya'll from?"

    The woman was silent for a moment then came back with an icy, "Well, let me give you a hint....I'm from a place where we've been taught not to end a question with a preposition."

    Well, the Texas gal sat on that for a moment...then replied " OK, so where ya'll from, b*tch?"

    :roll
    Last edit by mattsmom81 on Aug 1, '02
  7. by   Rustyhammer
    We don't live in Texas but the kids all call soda "coke".
    For example...Stop at the gas station with kids.

    Dad: "Who wants a coke?"
    Kids: "I do, I do".
    Dad: "what kind?"
    Dtr: "Root Beer"
    Son: "Sprite"

    Back on the road later..."Thanks for the cokes dad"
    I thought everyone did that for awhile.
    -Russell
  8. by   Cowgirl
  9. by   Hidi74
    Great posts everyone!!! I currently live in Texas....I liked the 5 seasons...It is so hot here. You know your becoming a Texan when your air in the car gos out when its 100 degrees out and its really not to bad. I finally got it fixed today!!!!! yea!!!!!!! Plus you know your in Texas when you can hop on the closest grasshopper and ride him to work...hehehe They are HUGE here. To those of you who are enduring this Texas heat w/me stay coooooollllllll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Hidi74 Future RNangel
  10. by   mattsmom81
    Here's another Texas joke:

    A Texas man was in a bar bragging about his newborn son. "Yep, he's a big 'un....my boy weighed 14 lbs at birth" he bragged proudly, and continued on and on... bragging on his new baby boy.

    Well, the women pitied his wife and the men were envious of the man's strapping son, but they soon tired of the Texan's bragging and headed home.

    Several nights later the man was back in the bar...and some of the same patrons were there. They asked him about the baby boy who weighed 14 lbs at birth and how he was doing.

    "Well, he's doin' just fine and dandy...he weighs 8 lbs today." Daddy puffed up with pride again while the other customers got a bit confused with this news.

    So Big Daddy Tex leaned in, winked and proudly announced " My boy got circumcised yesterday."
  11. by   Cowgirl
    :chuckle :roll :chuckle :roll
  12. by   Dplear
    You know how to make a Texan mad?




    tell him they are going to cut Alaska in half and make Texas the thrid largest state......


    Dave
  13. by   mattsmom81
    Love this thread...good we can make fun of ourselves in this great state we're in!! :roll
  14. by   mattsmom81
    I think we're the only state in the union that still has it proudly written in our State Constitution : We reserve the right to secede from the US and form our own country of Texas. So..if we don't like what's goin' on, asta la vista, baby!

    A strange law here in my great state (my attorney verified it's still really on the books): A man who kills his wife while she's in bed with another man may just get off in Texas...justifiable homicide... Now, I'm not seeing this law USED as a defense, but I do gotta question why it's still there.... but ya gotta live here to know some of the quirks! Hehe.

    'Course it don't work that way the other way around...the woman can't get away with the same ....GRRR...

    I love Galveston Island's plan for their own social security...they opted out of our Federal SS program, formed their own retirement plan for folks....and now those folks are retiring with 1/2 to a MILLION BUCKS ....compare that to our puny, poorly administered Federal SS which only brings in what... maybe $1000 a month for elderly retirees who've worked hard their whole life???

    To me this is a GREAT case for privatization of social security...I'd prefer to retire a millionairre, wouldn't ya'll????

    Texas leads the pack again..... Gotta get some brag in....

    :roll
    Last edit by mattsmom81 on Aug 2, '02

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