1. What is it with teenagers and why is EVERYTHING such an issue. It seems that no matter what, it turns into an arguement. How do you deal with it all???...I'm going absolutely CrAyZeeee!!!!
    Why me?
  2. 63 Comments

  3. by   kids
    ...truely I am sympathetic... mine are 21, 18 & 17...someday they will be human again (or so my Mom promises). Actully the 21 yo (a girl) is getting easier to like every day (she doesn't live at home).

    I have for years just kept repeating something my favorite Aunt, a HS English teacher (with 2 kids) told me...

    Arguing with a teenager is like mud wrestleing a pig...you both get dirty and the pig enjoys it.

    Good luck
  4. by   hoolahan
    I have rediscovered alcohol.

    I was a tea-totaler for years, but no more. I also work more hours, it keeps me from being made insane by my dtr.

    I will never forget years sgo, when I was returning to the unit after working in nsg ed, I was telling the nurse manager and sup what hours I could do. I said well, two days one week, three the next. I really don't want to be away from my kids that much. They both got such a silly grin on their faces, I said What??!! They said, that's so cute Linda. We're not making fun of you, it's just that we have teemagers now, and we spend all our time trying to work more hours to get away from them.

    Now I can relate!

    I have found the secret to clothes shopping. I give my dtr a budget of cash to spend. I let her take a friend. I take a novel, and as they move along from store to store, I move from bench to bench and read. Then we all have lunch together, then they finish shopping. It is the only way we can go to the mall w/o having a major argument. Surprisingly, when I am not supervising, she does not decide to buy ****-clothes either, yet when I am with her, she always asks to buy that kind of stuff. Now I think she just did it to tweak me.
  5. by   NurseDennie
    I brag WAY more about my teenager than I should... But not nearly as much as I could. She's 18, so, she's kind of getting over the teenagerish-ness.

    But when she was younger, when she was supposed to be in the middle of her more rebellious age... every little thing you did for her, she'd THANK you for!! I took her to the bank "mama, I appreciate you driving me all over" I helped her with her hair "mama, thanks for fixing my hair, I really appreciate it." And EVERYTHING! My older daughter was Never like that.

    Finally, I took her aside and asked her about it! This is making me nervous, what's up? Nothing, she tells me. So, I'm kind of shaking my head, trying to explain why all this makes me nervous. So I tell her, "Look, you didn't ask to be born, don't you think we OWE you stuff?" She thought about it for a minute. "No, but I'm sure I would have done if somebody had asked me." Turns out she said she didn't want to be one of those 50 year olds going to the psychiatrist saying 'I never told them how I felt.'

    She died her hair bright blue at one point. Not rebellion, just something she thought was pretty. A lady at church was insulting her, saying how obnoxious teenagers were, and how rebellious and rude, dying their hair blue. Well, ONE, she was working in the nursery at church with me, TWO, she's always been way more religious than I've *ever* been, THREE, that very week, she'd been invited to a performance of a famous violinist in Nashville (my daughter is an up-and-coming cellist) to go backstage and discuss the classical music business. She, knowing that mama would love to meet the maestro, asked if she could bring her mother along!!! Yeah, I told that lady off.

    My older daughter was a little bit more typical. Never a *problem* mind, but a little bit easier to understand as the average, every-day type of teenager.

    Next year the younger one will be off at university. It's going to be so quiet and sad in my house when she's away. Okay, *I'm* going to be quiet and sad in my house.... Heh heh



    PS - the ppl who live across the street have started out their screaming and swearing and threatening each other out in the street. I love this neighborhood. (that's facetious, in case you're wondering)
  6. by   NurseDennie
    Oh - she has had some hormonal adjustments, but still.... Even those are funny.

    One time she was getting ready for a concert that meant a lot to her (she gets more uptight about things that involve other teenagers like allstate/national highschool orchestra competitions, than the ones where she gets paid and/or is performing for and with adults) and had one of the strings go dead on her cello. She was practicing and usually she just deals with those things until the stores open up and I can go get her a new one (yes, she should have spares, but they're *really* expensive!) and she started crying and declared "I can't Go *ON*!"

    Another time, I took her to a fast-food restaurant to get a snack on the way to a different concert. The service was very slow and she was starting to get antsy about being late. "I'm IN concert attire, what, do they think I just like black?" Which just put me in stitches. Like the people at Burger King care about her concert!!

    She really is a funny, fun kid. Did I tell you about the time she was asked to leave the chess club because she finished her game, got out the extra chess pieces and set up a table, selling mercenaries!!!!

    Okay, I'll shut up now.


  7. by   leesonlpn
    hi night owl. As I write this I can see another grey hair glistening in the light. The left side of head is bald from pulling my hair out in a visual cry for help.. I wear a dental dam all day as I grind my teeth continually and now only have stubbs. I have a twitch that involves a sudden jerking of my head backwards, and then it's followed by a vigorous shaking back and forth, some frothing, sometimes bloodtinged from biting my tongue,and words of Nononono no come out. sometimes in pathetic whispers, other times loud enough to make the veins in my neck and forehead bulge out. Sometimes I can get my pulse from stinking my finger in the centre of my forehead.I sit in a daze quite often just letting my mind wander - sometimes a drop of drool falls from lip onto my straigh-jacket. I remember the days when my teens were kids and I asked them to do something, and they said 'ok". , not I'm busy, yeah later, what for, and ultimately not do the task.I remember when they actually reached for my hand to hold it, and not get tight like a ball of razor fencing when you go to hug them. They say don't touch me, as I put my hand on their shoulder. My 17 year old son forgets to flush the toilet, doesn't brush his teeth enough, yet carries a condom in his wallet. this boy once before I went to work taped an oreo cookie to a piece ofpaper onto my car window, with a note saying guess who?? I love you mom.My daughter who is 15 is haughty, self-centered, thinks there aren't enough mirrors in the house to accommodate her vison of beauty. She makes noises that sound like oral farting when I discuss sex with her. This little girl made me the prettiest valentine card that when you opened it a heart opened and said I love you mom. Someone has stolen the souls of my children I want them returned asap. I'm not leaving solitary confinement until they do!!!!!!zzzzz...zzz time for my medication.
  8. by   rosemadder
    Everyone has made my night!!! Oh, I feel so much better about my 14yr old son whose going on 25, who never flushes the toilet, has a frequent rotating head and foams at the mouth, has NO patience whatsover at anytime, yet still calls me when he gets to his dad's for the weekend to say "I love you mom, goodnight". When he rants and screams he's like a raving lunatic and the next second he is apologetic and hugging me. He does his best to ruin a peaceful evening (especially when my parents are over) and then writes a letter for me to find in the morning saying "Can you forgive me, I'm sorry". He works part-time and I kid him by telling him he's got everyone at work fooled into thinking he is actually a normal person, which he thinks is funny. I say "I'm so glad you can be comfortable enough to vent with me--when are you moving out?"
    I won't even mention my 7 yr old daughter who acts like a teenager also (worries about being fat (she's not), does sit-ups and talks about moving out when she's 18 so she can travel with her boyfriend??????)--I know she's watching TOO much TV but it's better than letting her brother torture her. Does anyone else have to hide in the bathroom to get a break????
    Did anyone else's mother ever say, one day this will all come back on you??? Do they always have to be right?
  9. by   night owl
    how come you're not a stand-up comic??? you are toooooo much!
    i would absolutely love to work with you. i know i'd lmao all shift long and work wouldn't be work at all...."i sit in a daze quite often just letting my mind wander - sometimes a drop of drool falls from lip onto my straight jacket." i'll tell you a little secret, i need and want to be sedated!!!!
    i've thought about the alcohol thing, then again i wouldn't be setting a very good examp..............ah shoot, where did i leave that 5th??? {{*hiccough!*}}
    my mil always sez, "this too shall pass..." she ought to know, she had 10 of the little critters...raised them with the ''yardstick!"

    now for dennie,
    what planet did you raise this younger teen of yours on? i'd really like to know. it couldn't have been earth! and i don't mean that sarcastically! a trouble-free teen...every parents dream!?!?! and how did you create her? did she come with assembly instructions? all major parts guaranteed.................like the brain!!! i've got two words for you...you're lucky!

    i'm counting on mil's comment because they will soon be gone. i should enjoy them while i can because i will miss them dearly... and hubby and i will be all alone...in a peaceful, very quiet home...

    [size=large]yesssssss![/size] :d
  10. by   hoolahan
    Oh lessonlpn, you have a real gift for presenting a visual!!! I am thinking you have a view cam that is viewing my home too!! LOL!
    Too funny!!!!!!!!
  11. by   WashYaHands
    Oh, man. All I have to say is thank goodness I'm not the only one! I was starting to get a complex. My oldest is 15, middle child is 12, youngest is 6. I long for the day that I can hide in the bathroom as I haven't been alone in there since 1986.
    Thanks for the laughs, I need them.

    Linda (the other one)
  12. by   Dplear
    The only thing I can tell you about teenagers at this point (mine are only 9 &6) is ALCOHOL and lots of it.
  13. by   NurseDennie
    Nightowl, you're right - I'm SO LUCKY! I know it.

    But the rest of that stuff - sheesh. She does that, too. She's almost 6' tall, but can she put a towel on the towel rack? Nooooo - little mama is the only one in the house who can reach the towel racks. I like the thin kind of bathmats rather than the rug kind. If I'm in the shower and she needs to use the bathroom, the bathmat has been wadded up by her combat boots into a tiny little ball and drop-kicked to somewhere else in the bathroom where it can't possibly absorb any water!

    Ask her to do something, and she's doing something else. "I didn't ASK that, did I?" Or she says "okay" and I'm sure she does *intend* to do it. But *I* want her to do it *now.*

    But I guess I'm so delighted with my girls (I lost some children at and before birth) and so mind-numbingly grateful that I have kids that I not only LOVE but LIKE and can respect and sometimes even admire, that my tendency is just not worry about the little stuff! Does she empty her kitty's kitty litter box as often as I think is appropriate (and HE thinks, as well....) No. But if she's later than I expect her to be home, especially if the weather is bad, I'm getting a phone call to tell me she's okay and when to expect her.

    She died her hair blue. I mean REALLY blue. Some of my friends told me that their teenagers tried to dye their hair un-natural colors and they grounded them or fought with them or whatever.... WHY??? I didn't like it. She did. She's back to blonde, now, none the worse for the blue (or green or pink or orange hair) period.

    So, no; I guess if you're thinking about stuff like that, she's not a trouble-free teen. But who cares????? Not me - I'm the luckiest, happiest mama in the world, no doubt.


  14. by   Furball
    Dennie, I can identify with the blue hair. My daughter once shaved the back of her head leaving the top part long then pulled what hair was left into a pony tail...hideous! But I thought for a second before giving her my honest opinion and gave her a big smile and said "Cool! That looks great on you!" It really ticked her off that she didn't receive the response she was looking forward to. She grew it back without me saying a thing.... heehee