Support Needed

  1. On another public BB I frequent, that is much slower than this and vegetarian related, not nursing, there is a new grad nurse strugging.

    I thought it would be nice if you guys respond to this thread and I can link her here, or cut and paste your support. She's having a tough time.

    She says:

    "Working really hard on this "life" thing. Career and stuff... well it's been feeling pretty meaningless. I feel good when I can make a patient feel better, but it only lasts a while. I go home and think, well, they're old and sick anyway, what I did wasn't much in the scheme of things, we're all gonna get old and die. I know, right? Depressing!
    ...........I'm really alone, and struggling as a nurse... I thought I was doing so much better and I told my preceptor that back in march, they had talked about recycling me through training a second time. She said "I can't say I'm all that surprised." She said I was making progress and everything, but..
    I donno. Nursing is HARD, isn't it Tweety, or am I imagining it??"


    This was said on a public board and I'm not breaking confidence, though I've edited out some non-nursing stuff.

    Please let her know she's o.k. and what she's going through it normal new grad stuff? Thanks.
    •  
  2. 17 Comments

  3. by   Grace Oz
    To the friend of 3rdShiftGuy.....
    My dear fellow nurse,
    I want you to know that nursing is indeed a very demanding job. Moreso because it involves not only working alongside humans, BUT & MOST IMPORTANTLY, caring for humans! We're ALL HUMAN & with this comes all the complexities, failings, joys,fun, laughter & at times frustrations, being human encompasses.
    Some of us are gifted beyond belief & therefore are able to achieve amazing things. The rest of us are gifted too, but perhaps not quite as generously as others. However, we DO have our gifts & talents, no matter HOW small we might think them to be. In this life journey, it's really the SMALL things that matter most, the seemingly inconsequential, insignificant things. You'd be amazed to know just HOW much the small things matter & what a DIFFERENCE they make.
    Sometimes in life, we need to do & RE-do things before we "get" it, that's OK! If, as you travel this journey, things get tough, rest awhile if you must, but DON'T quit, DON'T give up. Believe in YOU! Seek the assistance you need, ask for help. No man/woman is an island, we ALL NEED EACH OTHER.
    We're all here to touch each others lives, sometimes we come into each others lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. But the thing is, we are MEANT to touch others lives. As nurses, we do that all the time & believe me, we DO make a difference! No matter what the gesture is, be it actually performing the surgery or emptying the bedpan... EVERYTHING is relavent & important.
    NOTHING, I REPEAT, NOTHING, is meaningless! Please believe this. Try & remember, QUALITY counts, so even if we're all going to die someday, & we WILL, let's make this life journey COUNT & MATTER.
    Maybe, in time, you might decide that nursing isn't for you, that's ok. Not everyone is suited to or likes nursing, HELL!, I'm an expert on the high's & low's of it, I've been at it for 34 years!!! When it all gets TOO much, take a break, do something else for awhile. Stand back from the forrest & get a good look at the trees, so to speak. It really does help to do that. Helps us put things into a better perspective.
    As nurses, we can't always achieve the ideal outcomes we might desire, again this is where the 'human' factor comes into play. We're not always going to "get it right" all the time & sometimes we feel as though we've failed.
    The ONLY failure is; having NEVER tried in the first place!
    Hang in there, BELIEVE, be GENTLE on yourself & above all, KNOW that what you do DOES help & make a difference.
    Sending you all the very best of good wishes from "Down Under" & also a good ol Aussie (((HUG)))!
    Cheers,
    Grace
  4. by   LauraF, RN
    It sounds like she is in geriatrics. I much prefer peds, I feel like I can really make a difference in someone's life there. But, here is how I look at it. With geriatrics, nursing helps provide comfort in those golden years. It is one thing to grow old and be in a nursing home, and possibly not get many visitors. But it would be a whole nother ball game to grow old, in a nursing home with few visitors and be in pain, have SOB, etc. Even though most of the older people I cared for didn't know who I was, they could see the care in my face, as I made them as comfortable as I possibly could. Good luck my friend, and realize that in alot of those people's lives you are making a difference, YOU CARE!!!
  5. by   ScarlettRN
    I am so sorry you feel this way. I know how discouraging it can be sometimes in this profession. I get the impression that you want to be a nurse because you want to make a difference. I think that is wonderful! The thing about making a difference is that you can't do it all at once. Very few people are walking around in the world today that can claim to have made a difference in the world in general! Just think of each person you touch. You have made a difference to that one person. It adds up. Over your lifetime, you will have touched so many people. When you care for an elderly person, of course they are going to die one day, but think of it as paying it forward to the day when it is you in that bed. With some luck and blessings, you will see that what has gone around has finally come around. That is what it is all about. I don't want to sound all new age and mushy, but what "karma" you send out really will return to you!
    Keep the faith!
    Susan
  6. by   passing thru
    If you can just advance the idea to your patients that
    YOU CARE...... that is the single most comforting
    message a nurse can give.
  7. by   angelbear
    Tweety have you given her the address here? It may help her to come here and talk with all of us herself. Just a thought.
  8. by   Tweety
    Thanks Guys, I post the responses so far. Please keep them coming.

    Angelbear, I did give her the addy here with the explanation of how the site works. Hope she'll accept the invitiation and find some support.
  9. by   nimbex
    Everyday I work, there are situations that take away a piece of me. Some pieces I give willingly, some pieces are just torn from me unexpectedly.

    AT the same time, these very situations make me stronger, not just as a nurse, but as a person, a mom, wife, daughter and friend, and wounds that I didn't know I had are some how healed.

    Most days the process of nursing completes me in my home life because my everyday worries are smaller compared to the struggles that I see others facing.... and I'm grateful, spend more time on the important things, love, friendships and family..... I let the housework go and make time for the really important things.

    Some days I need to take more from the people I love and regroup from a challenging shift.

    What I'm trying to say, not so concesly, is that seeing death and dying, severe sickness has helped me prioritize my life and the time that I have, I try to spend it well so I don't have any, well fewer regrets.

    take care and love yourself!
  10. by   CCL"Babe"
    [quote]everyday i work, there are situations that take away a piece of me. some pieces i give willingly, some pieces are just torn from me unexpectedly.

    at the same time, these very situations make me stronger, not just as a nurse, but as a person, a mom, wife, daughter and friend, and wounds that i didn't know i had are some how healed.

    most days the process of nursing completes me in my home life because my everyday worries are smaller compared to the struggles that i see others facing.... and i'm grateful, spend more time on the important things, love, friendships and family..... i let the housework go and make time for the really important things.

    some days i need to take more from the people i love and regroup from a challenging shift.

    what i'm trying to say, not so concesly, is that seeing death and dying, severe sickness has helped me prioritize my life and the time that i have, i try to spend it well so i don't have any, well fewer regrets.

    take care and love yourself!


    beautifully put nimbex. i totally agree.[b]
  11. by   Mkue
    Excellent nimbex.

    I've tried to think of something to add to give support, all of these posts are great

    I hope she does accept the invitation.
  12. by   nowplayingEDRN
    been there-done that.......I call it the new grad syndrome. It comes from being overwhelmed by the hugeness of the responsibility that we as nurses have when we step out of school and into the real world and realize that we no longer have the apron strings of the instructor firmly grasped in our hand and there is no one that can take that place in the space of a few weeks. Yes, it is depressing to think that, although we did something that made a tiny difference, we will still all grow old and die one day BUT.........

    keep your chin up and keep plugging along, doing the very best that you can do, knowing that you put your heartand soul into your work and that no matter how small, you might have made the miserableness that someone was in, a little more bearable or that the last days of someone was made a little more comfortable and pleasant....ALL BECAUSE OF SOMETHING YOU DID.

    I might be as simple as a glass of fresh water or a comforting, cool hand on a fevered brow or an extra blanket in the cool of the night but IT MADE A DIFFERENCE.

    In time, and that time may spread over a 6 month period (I know I did not truely feel like I had my sea legs until after the 1st year passed), you will run into an older and wiser co-worker and that co-worker will see the exceptional in you and see how very hard you try to do your best.....and he or she will take you in under their wing and show you the ropes....teach you the tricks of the trade (I know that I had one of those and I bet everyone else has too....and I still keep in touch with my "Den Mother" to this day) and the silver lining that is in these gloomy times will shine through brilliantly and you will say-"Wow, I can do this and I am DAMN good at it!!" And you will look back at the tough, depressing times and see the scars left behind, because you will not realize the wounds healed, and see that you have had your character defined and that you are a better person for them and that you have learned much from those times.....and one day you will look back and realized that it happened soooo long and go and yet still feels like yesterday and that is what keeps you humble and striving to be better still.

    The sun will come and you will do fine.....have faith; faith in your self, faith in your co-workers, faith in your patients and faith in your Supreme Power(what ever it may be) and you will excel and go far You have the backing of hundreds of fellow nurses behind you....so you can't go wrong with that kind of support.
  13. by   Tweety
    Thanks again. I've forwarded all your encouragement.
  14. by   jnette
    Dear NurseFriend...

    Many we cannot cure, but know that your smile, your touch, and your caring makes the time they have left so VERY much more worth living. Give what you have to give.. regardless. It means more than you could ever imagine. It's not about dying.. it's about what they have while they're here WITH us !

    You're ok. Hang in there ! Hugs to you.

close