Step-grandparents

  1. My son recently married a girl who has a nine year old son from a previous relationship. She's a wonderful girl, and he is a very sweet child. We were happy to welcome them both into our family. We were a little unsure about how to relate to her son. We didn't want to come across as instant Grandma and Grandpa, since he didn't know us well, and he already had two sets of granparents who were very involved in his life. But we wanted him to know he was welcome, and part of the family. We discussed it with my son and his mom and decided to treat him just like all the other kids, and let him take his time accepting us. They came to visit this past weekend, and my son and DIL went out to get pizza and rent some movies. I was reading, and the little boy was off playing with the other kids. He came into the living room and asked if he could sit with me awhile. I asked if he was tired of playing with girls, and he said he just wanted to ask me a question. He told me he knows I'm not his real Gram, but he really likes me, and would it be OK if he called me Grandma like the other kids do. I was so thrilled that he feels this way. So now I can officially say, I used to have eight grandchildren, now I have nine.
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  2. 10 Comments

  3. by   Lausana
    That's wonderful Patty! He sounds like a great kid
  4. by   Rustyhammer
    Thats really cool. He made it nice and painless for you and what were you so worried about anyway??
    My folks went through the same thing when we adopted an 8 year old. Now they are as close as any of the other grandkids.
    Kids are cool. They know whats up don't they.
    -Russell
  5. by   Mkue
    That is so wonderful !!!
  6. by   llg
    Congratulations! How wonderful that your family is so "functional." So, often, we hear about only the non-functional ones.

    My family also has the step-grandparent issue, too, but with a different slant. My younger brother has a young family (5 years old and 1 year old twins). He is in his late 30's. Unfortunately, both of our parents have died in the last few years. So, there are no surviving grandparents for his children from his side of the family.

    However, my mother (who died just a year ago) got remarried 18 months before she died. So, we now have a step-father (step-grandfather) relationship with a very nice man in his 70's who was not part of our family as we were growing up -- and who joined our family not long before my mom died.

    My siblings and I have all decided to make a go of it as a family and continue to include him in our family gatherings, etc. It's a little awkward sometimes, but we seem to be making it work.

    Let's face it, my brother's kids will never know their biological grandparents. Thank goodness, they have their step-grandfather (who has no other grandchildren). To them, he is simply "Grandpa."

    Thanks for the nice story,
    llg
  7. by   OBNURSEHEATHER
    That had to make your heart swell Patty! How sweet!

    Heather
  8. by   renerian
    How sweet.........you are very lucky and so is he!

    renerian
  9. by   NurseShell
    So glad to here that!! I have a step-daughter and she referred to my parents as "Nana and Grampie" from the very first. She was 4 when we got full custody of her. My mom has always considered her the "first grandchild" (there are 4 now)
  10. by   kids
    Congratulations on your newest Grandson Patty...and to him for his new Grandma. You are both very lucky.
  11. by   BadBird
    That is so wonderful, I can't wait for grandkids someday.
  12. by   Nurse Izzy
    Being a step-mom, I can say how wonderful it is that you've been so accepting of your new step-grandson! That's always worrisome how the new grandparents will react and such a relief when it works out so well! I'm fortunate, too, that my parents have "taken in" my step-son as their own grandchild as well! Best of luck to you guys in your continuing relationship!

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