Spanking ban proposed

  1. I apologize if you don't have high speed internet, I couldn't find a written story.

    http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/...nking.ban.whdh

    I'm split on spanking. I don't have kids and I don't think I can decide if I'll spank or not until I have them.
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  2. 36 Comments

  3. by   bethin
    Found a link:

    http://www.bostonherald.com/news/reg...icleid=1047241

    Parents who spank their kids - even in their own homes - would be slapped by the long arm of the law under an Arlington nurse's proposal to make Massachusetts the first state in the nation to outlaw corporal punishment.
  4. by   Diary/Dairy
    I think parents should spank, but use it judiciously! My mom used a wooden spoon to discipline my brother and sister when they were bad, and it got to the point that she did not even have to use it, just pull it out and show that that was what would happen if the behaviors continued.....that did thetrick for them - they are really well behaved pre-teens now.....

    In addition, I was spanked too and I don't think I turned out tooo bad!
  5. by   bethin
    I was spanked too diary. We went to the county fair each summer and my mom would stock up on yardsticks that they give out for free. I remember dreading the fair - we knew she was stocking up for the year! She spanked me, but it had no effect on me. I never cried, screamed, etc when spanked. I sucked it up because I didn't want my mom to know it hurt like hell!

    I think we turned out pretty well. Db has never been in trouble, married with kids. He spanks and at 3, my nieces know if they get a warning that next is a spanking. It works.
  6. by   mercyteapot
    We had a similar proposal last year in CA, but it died before getting any serious consideration.I am squarely anti-spanking. I have a staff member who is passive-aggressive, lazy, insolent and an all around pain. I don't get to hit him, though. If I even threatened, I'd lose my job and possibly face legal consequences. Why should I be allowed to hit my child?

    Just to clarify, I don't consider a swift hit on the bottom in very limited circumstances where safety is at issue and there just isn't time for discussions and time outs to make the point to be spanking. Two days before Thanksgiving, the year my son was two, we were walking towards the house when my 2.9 year old son turned around and bolted, inexplicably, towards the street. My van was parked on the curb, blocking the view of a driver fast advancing up the road. There's no way she would've seen him in time. Luckily, I got to him before he got to the street. The whap that he got was to get his attention and it worked. I've never felt like a hypocrite for doing it, either. The problem with the CA proposal was that it was written so broadly that even that action would've been considered a violation of the law.
  7. by   bethin
    Quote from mercyteapot
    We had a similar proposal last year in CA, but it died before getting any serious consideration.I am squarely anti-spanking. I have a staff member who is passive-aggressive, lazy, insolent and an all around pain. I don't get to hit him, though. If I even threatened, I'd lose my job and possibly face legal consequences. Why should I be allowed to hit my child?
    I'm not a parent, so feel free to tell me to shut up. But do you think that sometimes when parents spank it's out of frustration on their part and not to punish? In this society we are most definitely stressed out. Road rage is at an all time high, shoppers screaming at each other, impatience wherever you go.
  8. by   Spidey's mom
    this is spanking:

    "the whap that he got was to get his attention and it worked. i've never felt like a hypocrite for doing it, either."

    this is not:

    "but do you think that sometimes when parents spank it's out of frustration on their part and not to punish"

    i was beaten, not spanked, with belts and coat hangers and fists and switches.

    i have used swats on the butt for deliberate disobedience . . that "screw you" look kids get when they put their toe over the line they know is there . .the "dare you" kind of stuff.

    if you lose your temper, you've let it go too far. so, i try to nip it in the bud early on. before i'm tired and lose my temper.

    steph


  9. by   mercyteapot
    I wasn't beaten, but I was smacked hard, and it was rarely in proportion to whatever I had done wrong. If my Mom (and in more limited cases, my Dad) was having a bad day, I was hit harder. If she (or he) had a better grip on her (him) self that day, it wasn't as bad. All it taught me was how unstable they both were. I know my Mom deeply regrets behaving that way. She has apologized a thousand times. You can't change the way things were, though.
  10. by   CHATSDALE
    i don't agree with the government having so much power
    it is already against the law to punish to the point of abuse
    children by the time they are 6 or 7 are aware of the consequences and can be talked to, reasoned with, have privileges withheld
    smaller children do not know that going into a swimming pool, out on a busy street, approaching unfamiliar dogs
    if a child has an accident and is injured or killed some one like this person in mass. will come out and shriek 'WHERE WERE THE PARENTS'
  11. by   txspadequeenRN
    i will not spank my little ones cause i can talk to them and get better results , but the 14 year old is fair game. when you are almost grown and act like a 2 year old ,i must intervene.
    the government is pushing the limits as they have so many times in the past. unless the government can show proof of 6 pregnancies and a total of 94 hours labor ,then they are not going to tell me how to raise these brats.
  12. by   VivaLasViejas
    I don't think government has any business telling parents how to discipline children.

    That said, when my kids were growing up I always reserved spankings for the worst possible offenses, like reckless endangerment and outright defiance. And I didn't use weapons---I figured if you feel the need to use something stronger than your hand, you've already lost control of the child AND the situation, and had better go back to the drawing board.

    On the other hand, emotional abuse is also deeply scarring.........only the scars are on the inside. There were times when I was a kid that I literally BEGGED my mother to spank me and get it over with---usually about the third hour of her screaming tirades, when she pulled out all the stops in making me absolutely certain I was lower than snail poo. Where was the government back then?

    Oh, yeah---it's perfectly legal to beat a child into submission with words. Always has been. Personally, I'd rather see a parent apply a firm palm to the seat of reason.......not only does it deliver the point succinctly, it's less harmful to the child's ego in the long run.
  13. by   mercyteapot
    Quote from mjlrn97
    I don't think government has any business telling parents how to discipline children.

    That said, when my kids were growing up I always reserved spankings for the worst possible offenses, like reckless endangerment and outright defiance. And I didn't use weapons---I figured if you feel the need to use something stronger than your hand, you've already lost control of the child AND the situation, and had better go back to the drawing board.

    On the other hand, emotional abuse is also deeply scarring.........only the scars are on the inside. There were times when I was a kid that I literally BEGGED my mother to spank me and get it over with---usually about the third hour of her screaming tirades, when she pulled out all the stops in making me absolutely certain I was lower than snail poo. Where was the government back then?

    Oh, yeah---it's perfectly legal to beat a child into submission with words. Always has been. Personally, I'd rather see a parent apply a firm palm to the seat of reason.......not only does it deliver the point succinctly, it's less harmful to the child's ego in the long run.
    What of the vast opportunities to teach a child the rules which he will need to make his way in the world that rely on neither physical or emotional domination, however? I have always found the most effective consequences are those that make sense to a child... oh well, you didn't pick up your toys, so now they're put away for a week. You don't expect Mom and Dad to look at them cluttering our nice living room, do you? Oh well, you didn't stay away from the VCR like you were told, so now we can't watch your video. And so on.

    My son used to get so upset with me when I raised my voice to him. That was typically sufficient to get his attention. He'd cry and say to me, "You yelled at me!" Well, yeah, I did. Only after you choose to ignore me the first 5 times I tried to talk to you, though. Every time he said that to me, I just thought of my Mom, who would yell so frequently and so loudly that she'd lose her voice. Had I ever made that remark to her, she'd have been incredulous and probably would have wanted to know what of it. It was an everyday occurance in my family, and it certainly wasn't very effective. We never seemed to learn whatever the lesson of the day was.
  14. by   bethin
    Quote from mjlrn97
    I don't think government has any business telling parents how to discipline children.
    I'm not trying to be smart (I'd get spanked by my mom for that ), but knowing you as little as I do, I presume that you agree that there has to be limits? Such as not hanging your 3 year old from a coat hook for wetting her pants? Just happened in Indy, the child died.

    I think that the govt does not have the right to tell parents they can't spank. Right to privacy. Abortion (Roe v Wade) and bc (Griswold v Connecticut) were fought on those grounds and I think spanking would fall in that catagory also.

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