From the daughter's point of view, do ask what you can do for your daughter and remember this is her day. My Mom lived in another state when I planned (oops, both) of my weddings, so I didn't get to share that with her as I would have liked. You know, shopping for the gown, etc. Infact, my sister didn't even help me pick out my gown, it was one of my brides maids. I pretty much KNEW what I wanted in my wedding gown after attending a bridal show. For my 2nd marriage, my sister DID help me pick out a nice dress. We didn't want a formal wedding, but I found a really nice white dress...it was beautiful! Thank God she went with me, because she helped me get a discount. (My sister ALWAYS running her mouth.
) My parents were not able to attend my 2nd wedding due to my Dads health, but I did talk to them the morning of several times.
Some ideas where you could help: picking out the wedding gown, shopping for attendants gifts, picking out the wedding bouquet or flowers/decorations, help with rsvp's or getting invitations out. Maybe the two sets of parents could throw a party before in the couple's honor, or host a rehearsal dinner together.
The groom to be *might* want to help with the flowers and/or the gifts...just depends on how involved he really wants to be.
Congratulations and have fun!