Some of the debates have been getting too personal.

  1. feel free to add discussion to this particular "sticky" thread!

    is is a full moon outside? are we all just in a cranky mood?

    or maybe it's just me. maybe i unreasonably wish that we can have debates and discussions that do not spiral down to mud slinging.

    honestly! i don't care what you choose to discuss or debate. but i do care how you respond to one another. i know that not every post can be a perfect example of polite debate. but, geeze folks, there's been more debate about each other than on the topics at hand.

    here's a few suggestions (note: just suggestions, not rules!):

    1) if the debate starts to get heated, count to ten before posting.

    2) if the debate gets too heated, avoid addressing each other by name. instead, just write more in general terms. . . again focused on the topic. (honesty time: i actually hate it when people address me by name during a recognized debate. it is a pet-peeve of mine!)

    3) stick to the topic at hand. (am i beginning to sound redundant?)

    4) write to those as you would like to be written to.

    5) use words like "i" or "my" and avoid using "you" or "your" during heated debates.

    6) do not debate like the so-called "professionals" do on television. what's usually seen on those "point/counterpoint" type television debates is entertainment, not constructive discussion/debate! most of that type of televised "personal attacking type" debating would be against this bulletin board's terms of service! we're better than that, folks!!

    feel free to add any constructive advise on respectful debating on this particular thread! i'm sure many of us have taken debate classes (or something along those lines). share your knowledge. what have been your postive experiences in a healthy, respectful debate?? share!

    finally, this is a "current events" forum. any type of current events can be posted here (just as long as it's kept in the pg-13 realm.) in other words, it's "o. k." to post topics that are not necessarily political in nature. no one is going to discourage the type of topics posted here. but variety is the spice to life. there's a whole world of current events happening out there. some interesting. some not so interesting. but all fair game for this forum!

    with only my deepest respect to you all!

    ted

    p. s. again, if you see a post or member who is violating a tos, report that post or member to the moderators/administrators. it really is an effective tool in keeping this bulletin board a pleasant place to visit for all.
    Last edit by Ted on Feb 14, '04
    •  
  2. 150 Comments

  3. by   VivaLasViejas
    Thank you, Ted (or is that supposed to be efiebke? ) for reminding us all to be more civil with each other, especially in an election year when feelings tend to run high on both ends of the political spectrum. No matter where we as individuals stand on that spectrum, we're still educated, professional people, and we should hold ourselves to that standard even as we debate moral and political issues.

    When I was growing up, there were two things members of what used to be called polite society never discussed in public: religion and politics. Even though these subjects are no longer taboo, we would do well to remember why they were once banned, and to respect each other no matter what our world view.
  4. by   maureeno
    I think I will begin my Lenten break away
    from all-nurses early this year
    like Wm Wordsworth in 1807
    I want to protect my heart
    now too heavy with bitter knowledge
    impatient with farce
    and bleeding rage

    time out


    >>------------------------------------------------------------------------
    The world is too much with us; late and soon,
    Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers;
    Little we see in Nature that is ours;
    We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!
    This Sea that bares her bosom to the moon,
    The winds that will be howling at all hours,
    And are up-gathered now like sleeping flowers,
    For this, for everything, we are out of tune;
    It moves us not.--Great God! I'd rather be
    A Pagan suckled in a creed outworn;
    So might I, standing on this pleasant lea,
    Have glimpses that would make me less forlorn;
    Have sight of Proteus rising from the sea;
    Or hear old Triton blow his wreathed horn.
  5. by   VivaLasViejas
    Quote from maureeno
    I think I will begin my Lenten break away
    from all-nurses early this year
    like Wm Wordsworth in 1807
    I want to protect my heart
    now too heavy with bitter knowledge
    impatient with farce
    and bleeding rage

    time out


    >>---------------------------------------------------------------------.
    Wow, maureeno....that's pretty heavy. I'll miss you
  6. by   Ted
    Wow! Someone responded to my thread! I'm excited! Thank you! Usually threads that I start take a sharp nose dive to the bottom of the forum.

    And you can call me Ted! ("efiebke" is just the UserId that I use.)

    Honestly! I don't care if politics or religion or even sex (kept within a PG13 realm, of course!) is discussed. What is discussed does not matter. HOW it's discussed does. Especially of late.

    I'm also painfully aware that 2004 is the year of the Presidential Elections. Naturally, people are going to post whatever to state their case for so and so. Understand that ALL politicians are fair game for comment. But there's not reason to "diss" each other because one has a "politically left" bent and the other has a "politically right" one. I would hate to see this forum resemble the sleeze-ball television debates that attack the television viewing audience 24 hours a day. Again, I say that we're better than that! There are plenty of other political debating forums on the internet that hold similar "attack the opponent" type of formats. This forum does not need to be one of "those".

    And. . . AGAIN. . . there's more to "Current Events" than just politics. YES! I've been guilty of sharing my own political points of view and I make NO apologies to that fact. But at the same time, I try to even out what I post with a few non-politically related current events. This is NOT an expectation that we start pandering to my wishes that non-political current events be posted too. But it is a request that non-political issues be considered for discussion too.

    My personal vision of this "Current Events" forum is that current events be shared from differing people from differing cultures from different countries from around the world. Although there is a huge percentage of U. S. citizens that belong to this bulletin board, there truly is a significant number of non-U.S. citizens that "surf" here too! There's a fair number of people from Europe, Australia, Asia, Latin America, the continent of Africa, and even that wonderful country, Canada, located just a couple of hundred miles from where I live. There's a HUGE potential of interesting international news that can be shared on this forum!!! Sadly, it's not! My personal vision of the "Current Events" forum was NOT just to debate issues, but also to LEARN from the "current events" that's happening around the globe! Personally, I hold a fascination in learning from other people's cultures and traditions. This includes their current events in politics, economics, religion, healthcare, technology, government, sociology, weather, sports and music! This forum presents a wonderful opportunity to learn from one another!

    Again, this is just MY personal "dream" of what this forum can provide all of us members of "Allnurses.com". Again. . . HONESTLY. . . I am NOT trying to discourage any political debates. All I ask is that we keep tucked in the back of our minds that there can be more to this forum than just political debates. (Although it would be interesting to read the political issues debated by other countries!!! That would be way cool to me!!! )


    The world is getting smaller, not larger. People are traveling here and there for whatever reason in greater numbers. Learning is the first step in understanding. And in order to solve many of the problems we all share as citizens of Planet Earth, we need to understand each other at least a little bit better. As nurses, we can help lead the way by example if by nothing else. This forum can help us as we learn and grow to understand ourselves and each other.

    Peace!

    Ted
    ______________

    P. S. For Maureeno - I just read your post after I wrote this long "whatever". You will be missed, maureeno!
    Last edit by Ted on Feb 15, '04
  7. by   nekhismom
    Ted, I agree that this could be a wonderful place to learn from one another. I hope to see that blossoming in the near future.

    I must confess that I have been avoiding this forum for a few weeks because I felt the debating was getting too personal. Therefore, I have spent my time on other, more friendly forums. I hope it will be getting back to friendly around this forum soon!
  8. by   Ted
    Quote from nekhismom
    Ted, I agree that this could be a wonderful place to learn from one another. I hope to see that blossoming in the near future.

    I must confess that I have been avoiding this forum for a few weeks because I felt the debating was getting too personal. Therefore, I have spent my time on other, more friendly forums. I hope it will be getting back to friendly around this forum soon!
    Me too. Thanks for sharing your concern!

    Ted
  9. by   Mkue
    No one should have to be afraid to post on current events in fear of being attacked. Many posters have left because of personal attacks by individuals. I have chosen to stay and put up with personal attacks on myself which happen usually everytime I post.

    I believe ALL views are allowed on this forum and yes we can learn from each other. This won't happen if some posters chase away those with another view.

    We need a fair representation of political articles and posters on current events, with the upcoming election all of our opinions should be respected. I personally get rather bored with so many Bush bashing articles, there is so much more to discuss and as citizens we need to be informed on what "both" sides of the isle are saying whether we agree or not.

    I frequent other BB's with political current event discussions and all parties are welcome to post, I hope that is something that we can have here as well.

    mkue
  10. by   jnette
    I stand corrected.

    I forgot the "step back and take a deep breath and count to ten" the other day myself. My apologies to anyone offended.
  11. by   SmilingBluEyes
    I always believe attacking IDEAS, not PEOPLE is important, a rule to abide by. Sometimes, in so doing, we attack each other and that is wrong. Namecalling and personal attacks have no place on any forum, especially one among professionals like us. If I have offended anyone in my debate, I am sorry. I do my best to refrain from attacking people===drawing the line is hard at times, I admit.

    Anyhow, I respect the other members and Ted here enough,to review my behavior here and make the necessary changes I need to more comply with TOS and make this a place others can feel safe to participate in.
  12. by   Elenaster
    You're exactly right Ted, and I'm ashamed to say that despite my best efforts, I'm guilty myself, however a few points to consider, especially when starting new threads may help things from getting too personal:

    -Don't start threads from opinion articles from lunatic fringe (left or right) websites and then bow out without stating any opinion of your own. As long as I've been here, these types of threads almost always deteriorate rapidly.

    -Don't start new threads on controversial topics that have recently had other threads closed or reprimanded by the mods, especially when the topic is still raw. You can pretty much bet that people are going to jump on it.

    -If you do start an offensive or controversial thread, don't whine and become incredulous when people don't agree with you. Just as there have been too many personal comments made lately, there are several posters that are unable to differentiate between someone disagreeing with her/him and a personal attack. Take responsibility for what you post.

    -If you have nothing more to contribute to a heated thread than, "this how it always is here because people are too conservative/liberal/mean/etc.," then keep it to yourself. You may think you're making a salient point, but it does little more than pour gasoline on the fire, particularly if others start jumping on the bandwagon with you.

    -Always, always, always post a link to the source of your articles or editorials.

    Don't get me wrong, I'm not perched atop my soapbox beyond reproach or anything. Most of these things I've learned from mistakes I've made myself (or continue to make sometimes :imbar ) as well as a fair amount of observation of the dynamics of this board. This place isn't for the faint of heart and I've had to "get out of the kitchen" several times myself because I couldn't take the heat.

    I apologize for my transgressions and will make every effort to behave myself. I also resolve to start replying to Ted's threads

    Peace,
    Elena
  13. by   Ted
    edited to read: boy does this particular post of mine go on and on and on. i wrote it just before going to bed. vomiting out lots of words on the computer keyboard is one symptom of me being very, very, very tired! (and i just woke up after only 2 hours sleep to go to a gilbert and sullivan show rehearsal and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. . . . . ) :d
    _____________________________________________

    everyone! points well taken!

    and thanks for responding to my thread! :kiss
    (even though i did put a "sticky" on it so that it won't sink to the bowels of this forum!)

    i have to make one comment, though. by in large, people post respectfully here! we all get carried away by our passion at times and direct less than kind postings towards other members. i am most certainly guilty of that too! but in comparison to some of the bulletin boards i've encountered in the past, this is a fairly respectful "discussion/debating" forum. most other bulletin boards that offer some kind of "off topic" or "break room" forums have threads & postings that get down right nasty with tons of those "%#*&" words directed squarely towards "opposing" individuals. one of the worst bulletin boards i used to visit was operated by cnn. i think its format has changed within the past couple of years, but it political forums were nasty-nasty! and no one from any part of the political spectrum was an angel. (and most certainly, no one from any part of the political spectrum could honestly claim the role of "martyr"!) another bulletin board (focused on music and recording) got so bad that no one has returned to it for months - - and it used to be a very popular place to hang out and "chat" with fellow musicians. overall, this forum is better than "that". not 100% of the time. but a great percentage of the time.

    i appreciate the steps people are taking here to make amends for past "overly heated" postings. this is very sincerely commendable. and i need to make my amends toward past "nasty postings" as well. apologies.

    but i hope people know that there's been some great, great discussions and debates here as well. ones that participants can be proud of. many debates and discussions have existed on this forum which not only allowed differing opinions to be expressed without fear of "retaliation" but which also showed evidence of learning and growth by an individual or two or three or more. that is effective discussion and debate of "hot button" issues and current events.

    we most certainly will not agree with each other's points of views all of the time. but i sense an sincere effort to commit to the practice of "respectful postings". and to this sincere effort i say, "thank you"!

    again, with nothing but the deepest respect for all of you!

    ted
    Last edit by Ted on Feb 15, '04
  14. by   Ted
    i'm going to "unsticky" this thread now! let's see how fast it will sink to the bottomest bowels of this forum!

    on your mark. . .

    get set. . . .

    go!!!!!

    and the dive downward begins now!!!!!!!!!
    (at 3:28 pm, sunday 2/15/2004)


    :chuckle

    peace to you all! :kiss

    ted
    Last edit by Ted on Feb 15, '04

Must Read Topics


close