Some humorous come backs...enjoy

  1. :chuckle Please enjoy these remarks. I think you might could use these at work, at least under your breath. hahahahha

    >1. Ahhh.I see the f--k-up fairy has visited us again.
    > >2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce
    > >3. How about never? Is never good for you?
    > >4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in
    > >5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
    > >6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
    > >7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
    > >8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
    > >9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
    > >10. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of ****.
    > >11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
    > >12. you are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers
    > >13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
    > >14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
    > >15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
    > >16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of
    > >view.
    > >17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
    > >18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
    > >19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
    > >20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
    > >21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
    > >22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
    > >23. No, my powers can only be used for good.
    > >24. You sound reasonable.Time to up the medication.
    > >25. Who me? I just wander from room to room
    > >26. And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be.?
    > >27. Do I look like a people person?
    > >28. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
    > >29. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
    > >30. You!.Off my planet.
    > >31. Does your train of thought have a caboose?
    > >32. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
    > >33. A PBS mind in an MTV world.
    > >34. Allow me to introduce my selves.
    > >35. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
    > >36. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
    > >37. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
    > >38. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
    > >39. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
    > >40. Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen
    > >asleep yet.
    > >41. Can I trade this job for what's behind door 1?
    > >42. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
    > >43. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
    > >44. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
    > >45. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
    > >46. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted the paychecks.
    > >47. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
    > >48. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

    > >
    > :roll :roll
  2. 9 Comments

  3. by   PennyLane
    The sad thing is I can relate to a lot of these....sigh...

    <stores some of these in her memory bank>
  5. by   TheBrainMusher
    hahah! I am pasting this into an email ... :chuckle

    Thanks for the laughs!
  6. by   BadBird
    Cute, and it fits any work situation.
  7. by   shudokan-RN
    now if i could only remember them when appropriate
  8. by   karenG
    if only I could remember these at work.........

  9. by   vashka25
    Yay ! New ones to add to my ammunition belt ! :chuckle
  10. by   meandragonbrett
    I can never remember them until AFTER I need them!
  11. by   Mimi Wheeze
    I printed 'em out! Flypaper for freaks.. gotta love it!