So sad!!! could do with some advice

  1. Dear all

    I wonder how you would respond to a comment -

    You have a very complex personality


    I ask you all cos I value your responses as they are well thought and the intentions can be felt thousands of miles away. I have certainly read so many possitive replies

    I had an appraisal of my abilities today and I guess I was told this and I really don't know what was meant or perhaps I am trying to reflect with your help

    hopeful for replies
    j
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  2. 22 Comments

  3. by   researchrabbit
    I think it is a compliment! Obviously, you must not be shallow! Heck, I'd take that one any day!

    Bet a guy said it...(poor things, so easily confused, except of course for the ones here on allnurses)
  4. by   fedupnurse
    I guess it would depend on how it was said but I have been told that and took it as a compliment. I am a complex person. That means I have a mind and a mouth and have the AUDACITY to use both at the same time in the presence of those who don't like hearing the truth!! (you got it, the suits again!). Much rather be complex or mysterious than simple, you know. ALso take it from the source before you take any offense to it.
  5. by   jevans
    I thank you both researchrabbit and fedupnurse

    I feel that i would prefer to be complex but it was said in a negative way

    I am formost a nurse with high standards but am so concerned now, that I used my real name on this board as now I really need to vent but was so impressed with you all that I have told everyone I know so I can't
    j
  6. by   adrienurse
    I'd take this to mean, they're still trying to figure you out.

    I don't know I'f I'd be insulted by this.

    Maybe it means they're jealous of how smart you are.

    I don't think I'd ever let somebody get away with being that cryptic to me during a performance appraisal, though.
  7. by   jevans
    Adrienurse

    Thank you for replying. It makes me feel better that you picked up on some thing I had not considered

    I did not retaliate to the commment cos I was dumbfounded !!!certainly not expecting it

    Whilst yes I have further education I sometimes lack confidence in myself so it can be quite daunting to confront bosses
    j
  8. by   sunnygirl272
    i am not sure how i would take this without knowing what other things were said in the evaluation.
  9. by   bandaidexpert
    jevans, it means you are way too intelligent to be questioning it.
    I am always being told I am hard to get to know. Well, please I don't go to work and tell EVERYBODY my bizness. So, I am hard to get to know? Remember, nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. How was the rest of the eval?

    dawn
  10. by   SherRN
    J
    Don't be sad, Asfor your true name PM us if need be. I agree with the above. I think that is a great compliment. " You are complex" read "We can't figure out how to just run over you and have you bow and cowtow."
  11. by   OBNURSEHEATHER
    Personally, I'd take it as a compliment. But within the context of an evaluation oo appraisal, I would not let the discussion progress without further definition of that statement. I mean, what a complex and convoluted way of saying "we haven't figured you out yet."

    Heather
  12. by   Sleepyeyes
    I would've probably wished (because idoggone it! i never think of these things when they happen!) I'd asked for clarification....

    But in the main, I would take that as a compliment, meaning, You're hard to figure but we know you're brilliant too.
  13. by   hoolahan
    I agree, translation..."We are too stupid to manipulate you, and are therefore threatened by you."

    You said it was said in a negative connotation. The super-manipulative types like to say vague things like that so we will go home and worry about it. Keeps us submissive.

    They are not worth the effort. Take it as a compliment (even if it wasn't meant that way) and forget it.
  14. by   stevierae
    I think it was meant as an underhanded compliment. In other words, just like Hoolihan said, they recognize that you are perhaps smarter than they are; they don't like it, especially, but they have to admit they like your results, and it would benefit them to keep you.

    You sound like you are in the driver's seat. Keep 'em guessing! Next time they say something that you could take 2 ways, give them a big smile and say "Thank you SO MUCH for the compliment!" and go on about your business, leaving them open-mouthed.

    Usually, when management types want to insult you, they say you have "a STRONG personality." When someone says THIS to you, you are expected to take offense, and to "improve your attitude" before the next performance evaluation.

    They say this (strong personality) to convey that, in their opinion (or in the opinion of their "sources") you are stubborn, and want to do everything your own way.

    In reality, the people who are accused of having "strong" personalities are perfectionists, and have thought out their way of doing things, have a rationale for doing it, have good results, and see no reason to try to reinvent the wheel to please management or its' lackeys. They have the nerve to "think outside the box," and management is threatened by this, as well.

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