So sad

  1. In this past week, one colleague at work lost her young son tragically, and another lost her beloved father. Today I get news that one of my classmates (from High school) died in Belieze in a freak accident. I can not think of anything to do to help ease these people's pains ( of course, have sent cards and donations to requested places) but I can not fathom what to do to help. It is so painful to be sending cards, especially to parents, for their losses. I had met all of these people, and they were such gifts to this world.
    Last edit by MPHkatie on May 17, '02
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  2. 6 Comments

  3. by   CATHYW
    Loss is such a horrible thing, especially when it touches those around us. We want to help, but have no real way to do it, except to do as you have done, pray for them, and stay in touch with them.
  4. by   aimeee
    Katie, I suggest you put a tickler on your calendar to follow up with these folks in a few weeks and periodically after that. So often there is an outpouring of attention and sympathy immediately but then once the funeral is over suddenly people are alone with their grief and expected to be "over" it. You don't have to dwell on their loss but you can find ways to gently let them know that it is okay for them to talk about it, and okay to still be grieving. Sharing a positive memory of their loved one is one way to break the ice. Sometimes that prompts them to share some stories.
  5. by   nightingale
    Amy suggestion reminds me of a dear freind I made out of tragedy. This friend had lost a son, who was a close friend of mine. We met out of that grief and desire to "keep Scott alive" in our stories we exchanged over the years. It was very healing for both of us.

    B.
  6. by   MPHkatie
    Thanks everyone, especially AImee, I must admit, I've been strugling with what to do ,especially about the guy I went to High school wiht (it was a boarding school so we were all very close), I think I'll take my time and make sure to send a letter perfect for them, and to get in touch with my other friends from work in a few weeks. Great suggestion.
  7. by   mattsmom81
    It's hard to know how to be helpful in tragic times.

    Recently a young man of 19 was killed in a MVA. His friends made a banner for him and they all wrote down fond memories, and fun times they had with their friend and words of comfort to the family. They hung the banner in the cafe where he worked and even regular customers added a few words and sentiments.

    They gave the banner to his Mother several weeks later, and I thought that was a wonderful gesture....as the mother of a young son I would appreciate something like that.
  8. by   live4today
    Originally posted by aimeee
    Katie, I suggest you put a tickler on your calendar to follow up with these folks in a few weeks and periodically after that. So often there is an outpouring of attention and sympathy immediately but then once the funeral is over suddenly people are alone with their grief and expected to be "over" it. You don't have to dwell on their loss but you can find ways to gently let them know that it is okay for them to talk about it, and okay to still be grieving. Sharing a positive memory of their loved one is one way to break the ice. Sometimes that prompts them to share some stories.
    EXCELLENT SUGGESTION! DITTO INDEED!

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