My dear hubby just called me. My adopted 18 year old went to get her stuff from her mother's house. She called and told Reva that she was going to throw it all away if she didn't come get it. My dh let her use the truck, our other daughter Kala, and two friends went to get her stuff. That old bat called kala a whore and then proceded to tell Reva, TO HER FACE that she was a whore and a **** who would be pregnant before the year was out. :angryfire :angryfire
She then proceeded to say that the friends she had brought with her were drug dealers and would be in jail before the year was out. She has never meet any of them before this. How dare that old B**ch call my kids that.
I am so furious that I could drive the 13 hours to her house and beat the living hell out of her. Who does she think she is. She is the one who kicked the 13 year old out, changed the locks, and left her to fend for herself. She also gets a SS check on Reva and will not give her any of it. Says that is what she lives on. We have not insisted that Reva fill for her check cause it would just cause unneeded problems. But you better believe that tommorrow morning she will file a change of address for her check.
What causes people to be this way. She kicked her out. We made her our family, the rights and responsibilities of a child, love her like our natural born, and will fight to protect her. Then this women who doesn't even give a damn thinks to condem us for it. I just don't get it.
I needed to vent and calm down before I do something I would regret ( like driving home to confront her). I want to get her out of Reva's life but realize that she is her mother. Help Please. What can I do?
Mar 7, '04
The change of address needs to be filed directly with SSA (with her being 18 parental rights are not an issue.)
God bless you for being a real mother to Reva, you are all lucky to have found each other. I will never understand how people can mistreat any child, let alone their own flesh and blood. I raised a little girl (heroin addict mom signed guardianship papers) for 5 years.
She has been victimized and needs to take back some of what has been stolen. It is not just the money, I am talking about her fighting back against her abuser (and she has been abused) and taking back her self. Since she is 18 she has many more rights than if she wasn't but she's going to need guidance.
I admit to thinking worse case senerio but I'll bet collecting her SSI is just the tip of a very big iceberg. Some other things for her to consider doing:
File a change of address with the Postal Service and get copies of her credit reports. Better to find out now if bio has been using her identity and take corrective steps than to find out later that she can't rent an apartment, get telephone service or buy a car because her credit in a shambles. The longer an identity theaft goes on the harder it is to fix.
Inform the SSA that she has not lived with her mother or at her mothers address for X amount of time and has not benefited from the SSA funds. It is possible SSA will reimburse the diverted funds and pursue the bio for repayment.
Notify the IRS that she is not and has not been her bio-mom's dependant for X number of years. If she applies for financial aid for college she could be denied if bio has been claiming her as a dependant or worse yet, be later accused of falsifying her application (unknowingly).
Any chance bio has been collecting any public assistance claiming Reva is living with her? If so report her to the state.
Last edit by kids on Mar 7, '04