So furious I can't even speak...

  1. So get this. One of my coworkers really needed next Saturday off, so I agreed to switch a shift with her. Then a couple of days ago my uncle had a massive stroke and passed away. The funeral is the Sunday after this shift (I work nights, so I'd be getting out of work at 8am Sunday morning) across the country from me. I sent my NM a very polite email explaining the situation and asking if I could use my personal day (we get one a year) for that shift so I could go to the funeral. His reply? Cancel the switch. You can't fulfill it so she will have to work. How messed up is that? It's not this girl's fault my uncle died, and if I cancel the switch I will be vilified. It is just Not Done. I am sobbing furiously right now. I get that it's a Saturday, but I have called in sick *once* in a year. It's not like I have a record of absenteeism, oh, and did I mention MY UNCLE DIED??? :angryfire He didn't even say he was sorry for my loss or anything. Just NO.
  2. 13 Comments

  3. by   clemmm78
    Ouch. That's awful.

    I'm sorry for your loss. I hope something gets worked out.
  4. by   traumaRUs
    Sorry for your loss. Anyway another sympathetic nurse could help you out?
  5. by   jnette
    So sorry Lizabelles........

    Ppl just suk sometimes. So much for his "nursing compassion", eh?

    Hope you can get something worked out. :icon_hug:
  6. by   Jolie
    I'm so sorry for your loss, and for your manager's response. He clearly doesn't remember much of Management 101.

    As a former nurse manager, let me say that this is a perfect example of a situation where the manager should work if no other coverage can be found. Managers are not exempt from staff duty, and covering for unavoidable absences is part of their jobs. It would also go a long way toward earning him the respect and good will of the staff.

    I would be bold enough to call him now and inform him that I will not be in this weekend, and that he's being given notice that filling the shift is his responsibility.

    Take care, and safe travels.
  7. by   donsterRN
    I'm so sorry. And you're absolutely correct. Some people just bite.

    I'm hoping that you'll be able to find another nurse to cover. Much good luck with that. I'm so sorry about your uncle.
  8. by   elizabells
    Thanks for the support, guys. I just can't figure out why he's so nasty. And he wonders why the staff is leaving in droves.

    So check this out: I emailed him to tell him I didn't think that was fair to the other girl and I'd find another way to sort it out. So imagine my surprise when I get to work last night only to be confronted by said girl, who wanted to know why I didn't tell her first that I was cancelling the switch. Turns out BossMan approached her to tell her I had emailed him telling him I couldn't do the switch and was that okay? *****?? That is basically the OPPOSITE of what happened! Nor did he tell her there was a funeral involved! Once I explained she wasn't mad anymore, but good lord.

    If he thinks I'm coming in for overtime anytime soon, he's out of his mind. And I'm one of the people who NEVER says no.
  9. by   Roy Fokker

    I don't bother making my schedule. In fact, I don't even bother requesting time off - each episode is like pulling teeth without an anesthetic!

    We are so horridly understaffed on nights that the 'head charge nurse' whines, moans, mopes and pouts and begs each time I ask for time off. I had to fight tooth and nail to get my vacation this year... and it's been over 4 years since I took my last break.

    I'm just countin' time till my contract expires and winter ends. Come summer, I'm lookin' to relocate...

    My boss kinds sounds like yours. I mean, I love the man as a person. Nice guy. Easy to talk to. Very approachable. But his "approach" to 'management' and running his unit sucks. I mean, he is a good man and a good person - I just don't think he is a good manager.
  10. by   CHATSDALE
    remember 'THE PETER PRINCIPLE'
    people advance to their level of incompetence and they stay there
    this was written for the corporate world but it applies to all places of work
  11. by   deeDawntee
    I am sooo sorry that on top of the grief that you are experiencing that you have to deal with such an idiot as a manager and the strife he is stirring up for you and lies he is telling. Do you have copies of those emails? Save them print them out and report the bastard to his manager. Go to your uncle's funeral and come home and find another job... nobody needs to work for such a jerk.

    I am sorry for your loss.
  12. by   RainDreamer
    So sorry for your loss

    I can't imagine having to deal with such an ass of a manager, UGH! That really stinks, big time. Hopefully the higher ups will see how unhappy people are and how he's driving people out, and something will be done about it ...... that's what happened at a hospital I used to work at (yeah I moved onto better things, those managers were brutal!)
  13. by   hlfpnt
    I'm sorry for your loss...if I could, I'd have taken that shift for you! :icon_hug:
  14. by   elizabells
    Awww, thanks, you guys. It's all seemed to work out for the best, actually. We've decided that my grandmother shouldn't go to the funeral (he was not her son, but son-in-law) as she's getting pretty old and travel is hard on her. So I've been deputized to grandma-duty. I'll go visit my aunt later on, when the initial attention from her friends tapers and she needs someone.