Single parent, non-nursing question - please advise. . .

  1. Hi Everyone,

    I have an 8-year-old daughter who has over 100 stuffed animals. Obviously, more than she could possibly play with. I have put them in bags for the past year, and the ones she has missed I have dug back out; but the others we are planning to give to needy children for Christmas (because they're nice and in good condition).

    The majority of the stuffed animals that are going have been from me, grandparents or other friends. However, some of them may have come from her father (we are no longer together).

    I wrote him to let him know that we were going to be at the mall tomorrow to drop off stuffed animals that she no longer plays with to a woman collecting for needy children.

    His reply was that he would please like me to give any that he gave to her back to him, so that he can give them to children at his work.

    I'm left scratching my head and befuddled at his response. What is your opinion? Do you think that my ex-husband is out of line or appropriate? Either which way - please explain why you feel the way you do.

    Thanks,
    Emily
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  2. 5 Comments

  3. by   Nurse2be
    Also, to let you know - he lives out of town. The reason I let him know we would be at the mall dropping off the stuffed animals was to establish a meeting point for us.

    Thanks,
    Emily
  4. by   Bipley
    Quote from Nurse2be
    Hi Everyone,

    I have an 8-year-old daughter who has over 100 stuffed animals. Obviously, more than she could possibly play with. I have put them in bags for the past year, and the ones she has missed I have dug back out; but the others we are planning to give to needy children for Christmas (because they're nice and in good condition).

    The majority of the stuffed animals that are going have been from me, grandparents or other friends. However, some of them may have come from her father (we are no longer together).

    I wrote him to let him know that we were going to be at the mall tomorrow to drop off stuffed animals that she no longer plays with to a woman collecting for needy children.

    His reply was that he would please like me to give any that he gave to her back to him, so that he can give them to children at his work.

    I'm left scratching my head and befuddled at his response. What is your opinion? Do you think that my ex-husband is out of line or appropriate? Either which way - please explain why you feel the way you do.

    Thanks,
    Emily
    I see nothing wrong with this at all. He wants to do his thing, you want to do yours. It sounds quite reasonable to me.
  5. by   ZASHAGALKA
    Sounds reasonable.

    The other thing is: if she stays w/ him sometimes, he might want her to have some of them at his house.

    Why would he have to come to you if he lives out of town, why can't you meet him halfway, if not now, then next time she goes to his house.

    Can't this wait till then?

    I've been divorced for 5.5 yrs. It took 3.5 before things were civil.

    Now the kids and their stuff go back and forth on a daily basis. I think their video game machine is at their mom's house. And my portable dvd player . . .

    My 16 yr old has a key to my house and rides his bike over to let himself in whenerver he wants (I work nights).

    But it wasn't always that way. And to the extent it wasn't, it was a game, w/ my kiddos in the middle. That's a tough, sad game.

    I'm not saying this is what you're doing, but the key is working with him. And him working w/ you. His request is reasonable. There is no valid reason why you shouldn't honor it.

    Good Luck.
    ~faith,
    Timothy.
  6. by   Jessy_RN
    I think you should let him have some to give at his work. It is reasonable.
  7. by   babynurselsa
    Either way they are going to get given away. They are probably having a toy drive and this will be a way for him to pass something on to another child. I see no problem there. Shoot let him take them all. Maybe you can get him just to come and pick them up and you won't hhave to drag them around yourself.

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