Share My Hapee Day!!!!

  1. today has been a good day
    not just good
    great, besides finding out that I have a straight 4.0 average in school for the past semester *geek! I know* I experienced a moment of sheer absolute joy today....
    my parents are divorced, have been for justabout 14 years now.. when my parents got divorced it was bad, not amicable and what have you so I lived with my mom and had sparse (at best!) contact with my dad, my grandmother (dads mom) had a drinking problem and would always call our house when I was home alone and upset me , anyway fast forward til now, my dad calls me the other day for my birthday and explains that my grandmother is in the hospital going thru radiation for throat Cancer.. trached the whole nine yards, she is at the hospital that I'm presently attending my BSCN courses at. I had the strangest feeling this morning, I cant explain it , anyway at the break of my first class (which is in the E wing) I proceed down to the B wing where the gift shop is passing by the D and C wings, anyway at C wing I just had this funny feeling, like I had to stop, but I didnt I carried on down and got my morning tea, then out of the blue I think to myself, I am going to find out where my grandmother is in this hospital and think about seeing her. Thinking that it might upset her, I decide NOT to do this but stop at the info desk anyway and get the information, she is in the C wing - which was the same wing that I felt that funny feeling when I walked by. I decide that I am finally going to break through years of hurt and pain and talk to my grandmothers nurse and see if my grandmother might like to talk to me at some point, well I get as far as the hall when I happen to glance in her room and see her....years of feeling angry and sad and upset and hurt just melted away! that was a shocking feeling to tell you the truth, so I speak briefly to her nurse and walk in the room...
    she looks at me , I say hello, she says hello , looks kind of puzzled and I said "you dont recognize me do you? Its okay, Its wendy" , with that she burst into tears (happy ones dont worry!) and reaches out her arms to me, I go to hug her and feel as though a missing puzzle piece has been put back together...... even better is that her trache is corked which I wasnt expecting so she can talk, and does she ever talk! she told me that I have made her day by coming and that she just cant stop looking at me and keeps telling me how happy she is etc etc, I only had a small break but I told her I would be back after class, I went back and we talked for a bit ,and it struck me that all the hurt just wasnt worth it , not worth it for one second! not worth missing out on the absolute joy I felt in that instant where my heart was no longer in turmoil
    I am telling you, sitting here crying happy tears, that today, I am the lucky one...
    my fathers family is not a very close knit bunch, and I doubt that they ever will be , but the point is, I'm not hurting about the relationship I wish I had with my father, I'm not upset about how things happend, I feel like a weight has been lifted, I see these ppl for who they are and accept that there is love there, its just been buried for so long..
    its nice to let that out ...
    sounds sappy but its true..
    after 14 years, I think I realize that in whatever form or however dysfunctional it seemed at times , I was loved, and missed
    and so were they....
  2. 48 Comments

  3. by   baseline
  4. by   nurs4kids sweet, wendy

    you are so precious!
  5. by   Gator,SN
    I'm really hapee for you!
    CONGRATULATIONS on the grades...pat yourself on the back you deserve it!
    I truly hope that this renewed relationship with your grandmother continues to be positive and gives you peace.
  6. by   Stargazer
    Aw, Wendy--what a great story. I'm all verklempt over here.
  7. by   Lausana
    Wonderful how things worked out, Wendy I think you probably made her, uh, decade! :kiss
  8. by   hoolahan
    Me oo, I'm teary-eyed reading this post, you have expressed yourself so beautifully. I'm really happy for you {{{Wendy}}}}
  9. by   passing thru
    How great she could talk! Think of how frustrating it would have been for her if she had been unable to talk.
    What an uplifting story !
  10. by   adrienurse
    Closure is indeed a good thing. I'm happy about your hapee day.
  11. by   RRMLPN
    congrats on the 4.0 ya brainiac! that's terrific ! even more happy for the way your day went, it's always wonderful when a family is given a second chance.
  12. by   l.rae
    hey geeky glitter girl.....congrats...ya know, hurtful feelings are never worth holding onto are they?...that's why they say forgiving others is the greatest gift we give ourselves ..doncha think?......LR
  13. by   Kayzee
    So glad you had a hapee day, and cograts on that average.
  14. by   cactus wren

    Awe...Wendie...How great !!!! both the grades and the reunion....G-mas are special...