Senstive issue, embarassed

  1. What would you think if you found out your husband was looking at porn ( gay porn) on the interent? One time you know about. He does not know you know. Some of it involved teen boys and men. First and only time, that you know of.
    What would you think? Do?
    Last edit by JMP on Apr 28, '04
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  2. 28 Comments

  3. by   NursesRmofun
    I'll be honest....I would think he was "curious," if not more.
  4. by   nurseygrrl
    I would talk to him about it. I think for some odd reason, it wouldn't bother me as much as if my husband was looking at female porn. Maybe because I would hope I am fulfilling all of his needs in that department. Some people are curious and I don't really see anything wrong with that. Talking always makes you feel better because it's what you don't know that makes you uncomfortable.
  5. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    IT would bother me if my husband was looking at any porn, and i'd ask about it, and say "i want the whole truth, please".
  6. by   ang75
    Wow. That's a tuffy. I think I would approach him. It sounds uncomfortable at first, but looking in the long run, I think it would make it easier. When something is tough, I have found that the longer you wait, the tougher it is. Maybe, just maybe, it was an accident. Like one of those pop ups that you can't close without shutting down the whole pc?
  7. by   Rustyhammer
    Men will look at all types of things. That doesn't mean they are gay or interested in bondage or watersports (ugh) or anything else.
    If he is gay curious then maybe you should ask him about it.
    We all have our curiositys, don't we? Doesn't mean we always act on them.
    Talk with you husband in a honest manner. And listen to him too.
    -Russell
  8. by   SmilingBluEyes
    I would not be happy but I would follow Russell's style and ask and LISTEN to what he had to say about it. I guess I don't get folks who have to have their kicks with online porn.
  9. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    Neither do i. I've always seen it as something that people run to when they're running away from their problems instead of dealing with them.
  10. by   leslie :-D
    Gosh that IS a hard question. I honestly don't know how I'd respond. My 1st thought, if it was my husband, would be "check out men your own age" (and not teenage boys). I'm not being facetious but the 1st thing that came to my mind was 'teenage boys????'
  11. by   Dr. Gonzo
    Offensive post removed by moderator.
    Last edit by Jay-Jay on Apr 28, '04 : Reason: TOS Violation
  12. by   jaimealmostRN
    Like others suggested I would ask him about it in a nonthreatening environment...ie. NOT the bedroom. Tell him you're not angry (if your not) that you just want to know whats going on. There was a recent Oprah on this topic, married men leading secret gay lives. He may just be curious, but you have a right to know, b/c if he's engaging in risky behavior and you're not using a condom he's putting YOU at risk too. Meanwhile, buy some condoms and get tested for STDs with your doctor/NP, embarassement is no reason to put each other's lives at risk.
  13. by   nurseygrrl
    Quote from Rustyhammer
    Men will look at all types of things.
    That just struck me funny because it's so true. Men are just cruisin' the net looking at weird stuff and leave it to us women to over-analyze...
  14. by   Shotzie
    I think this requires a lot of questions and conversation. I do like the answer that "men will look at anything" but I personally know of three families that have traumatized because of the husbands experimenting with homosexuality or deciding that they are really gay...and one of them had been married over 30 years!!!
    One of the families I know of now has a husband and father who is HIV positive, his wife escaped the illness (God know how!!) even though he had had it about a year before it was diagnosed during a blood drive. Believe it or not, they are together and seem to be doing well but a lot of water and pain has passed under the bridge for this family. They have a bunch of kids and the kids don't know because they live in suburbia and the parents are afraid of the reaction of friends, neighbors and family.
    The older couple divorced, the man found another (male)partner and the wife, who still grieves for her lost relationship, her lost future and her loneliness is still a basketcase after many years.

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