remember the engineer?

  1. Hey... I talked about an engineer that I dated briefly (over Thanksgiving) while I was separated from my honey.

    I found out this morning that he is dead. Apparently he is on the front page of our county newspaper (can't link it because we're too backward to have a website). They think he crashed into a tree, his car flipped over, and he ended up in a creek off of St. Mary's River. They found his body yesterday, he drowned inside the car (actually I don't know that, he could have died on impact).

    I don't know what kind of reaction I'm looking for... feel free to respond, or not to. I'm just kind of messed up about it. A friend of mine had told me that he was drinking a lot more after we stopped seeing each other, and I'm sure alcohol was a factor in this, although it hasn't been stated publicly.
  2. 26 Comments

  3. by   emily_mom
    OMG, Reb, I'm sorry to hear about that. I don't know what to say. ...thinking about you though....

  4. by   sunnygirl272
    Jeez reb..that 's awful....throw out that guilt you are feeling, i know that's easier said than done....those who tell you he was drinking more after you and he split are being cruel...

    stuff like this sucks...there was a guy who i had a drunken flirtation with for a coupla weekends. culminating in an post bar episode of lousy incomplete sex...he was killed in a car accident a month or 2 later...had been drinking, cops were chasing and he turned the headlights off to evade them...and missed a sharp curve in a very dramatic fashion....

    let me know what i can do...
  5. by   Lausana
    I'm so sad to hear that Rebecca. What a tragic accident

  6. by   delirium
    Thanks, guys. I really don't think that I'm at all responsible for this, but its just so sad. I keep thinking about what it must have been like for him and wondering if he was aware, if he tried to get out...
  7. by   oramar
    Oh I feel so bad for you and anyone else that knew him. I have to say I am a little concerned about that "He was drinking a lot more after we stopped seeing each other"statement. It is not necessary for you to maneuver yourself into a position where you can blame yourself. No one else on the planet will think you had anything to do with it. Thank goodness no one else was injured or harmed physically by his drinking and driving(I am guessing that was what happened though you did not say for sure). Inspite of the fact he was alone and no one else was injured I am sure there will be some emotional damage to many persons, there alway is in these cases. This is good time to be extra nice to yourself. Are there going to be services? Are you going to go?
  8. by   delirium
    I don't know. His family is in NC, so the service will probably be there and not locally. I won't make the trip to go, I don't think its necessary.
  9. by   Stargazer
    I'm so sorry, Reb. Regardless of any of the other factors, you've lost someone you were once close to, and that's always hard. Big hug for you.
  10. by   SmilingBluEyes
    AN important person in your life (however the past) died. OF COURSE this is significant to you.....I send you my warmest thoughts!!
  11. by   JonRN
    Jeez Reb I am sorry to hear about this. You knew the guy so it is traumatic to you. Sending you warm thoughts.
  12. by   PennyLane
    Oh no, what shocking news. I'm so sorry to hear that. I wouldn't really know how to feel either, if that happened to me. Spend some time thinking/meditating about him, and what kind of impact he had on your life. Did you learn anything from him, what your feelings were then and now...
  13. by   EmeraldNYL
    Sending hugs your way....
  14. by   Mkue
    That is tragic, sorry to hear about your friend.