I know there was a threat on this topic once before, but I just wanted some input.
Me and my boyfriend have been together for 10 years. Living together for about 3 years now. His daughter has been staying with us since June and she is planning on going back to her moms the middle of August. Me and him have been arguingin alot lately. Well, I listen, he argues. I was thinking about moving out and I told him that I found a house. A month ago, he went and borrowed $500 for me to help me get caught up on my bills. He said that I was a back stabber for doing this and leaving him like that. I asked him if he still has feelings for me and he said he did.
This past weekend, he threw up to me that if I quit school and do not return in the fall, that I have to find me a place to live. The reason I was looking to start with was on my last test, he said he could not go through another semester of what he went through the summer. That was the reason why I was not going to attend the fall semester.
He complained that all I do is study. The only time I can study is on Saturday and Sunday. I work 40 hours. On Saturday, I go to my study group (there is four of us) and we go the material over and over. I made a 101 on my last anatomy test! He told me that he did not know that I was going to be gone all day and that his daughter was home alone. She is 13. She is home alone during the week so what is the difference? He has never said anything to me before and is always encouraging me. If I do really good on a test, he will take me out to celebrate.
Am I being selfish? Should I move out? Finacially there would be no way unless I quit school. I love learning new things. Yes school is hard. I am having a 15 week semester into 10 weeks and I have to learn the material cause the teachers goes too fast.
I am sorry this is so long, but I truly feel some better by talking to someone.
What should I do?
Jul 28, '03
If you remove nursing from the picture, ask yourself what kind of relationship you've had over the past ten years with your boyfriend?
Was it good? Was it good more than half of the time?
Were the two of you able to compromise well together when decison making had to be done, or did one tend to dominate more than the other?
How was his life before you met him based totally on what you visualized yourself and NOT on "hearsay" etc.?
How was your own life before you met him?
What brought the two of you together? Was it for healthy reasons or were the two of you star-struck on each other with nothing but the physical going on until you were so deep into each other you couldn't see your way out of it?
Would you call him your best friend? Does he call you his best friend? And why?
Did he have the same problems in his previous relationships that he tends to display in your reltationship with him?
Are either of you really clingy and more needy than the other?
What does he do for a living?
How does he treat his mother?
How does his father treat his mother?
How is his relationship with his ex?
What brought about that split? Did you contribute to it?
How does his daughter relate to you?
Are you close in age to her?
All of these factors....and I could probably name more, but this should be enough to get you thinking....I mean REALLY THINKING...about the type of relationship you are in, who he really is, and who you really are.
Last edit by live4today on Jul 28, '03