Real Excuses....

  1. Have you exhausted the excuses for taking a day off? Are all your grannies dead? Does the boss no longer believe the one about the crippled aunt who keeps falling over?
    Well, then, try these! They're not excuses, they're real!

    AIR CONTROLLERS SYNDROME:
    Peptic ulcers occurring among air traffic controllers, as a result of job stress. {Illinois Medical Journal, 1972}
    ALOPECIA WALKMANIA:
    Loss of hair from prolonged use of personal stereo headphones. {Journal of the American Medical Association, 1984}
    ANCHORMAN GLAZE:
    Glazed-eye look of TV anchorman caused by looking at the teleprompter through glaring camera lights. {Syracuse, New York, TV station, 1960}
    ARCTIC TEMPER:
    Extreme irritability developing amongst arctic explorers exposed to darkness, monotony, isolation and sensory depravation. {Lancet, 1910}
    BEER DRINKERS FINGER:
    Swelling, bluish discoloration and wasting of finger caused by placing pop-top beer can rings on finger. {JAMA, 68}
    BINGO BRAIN:
    The headache associated with carbon monoxide intoxication which occurs after spending long hours in smoke filled bingo halls. {Canadian Medical Association, 1982}
    BIRDWATCHERS TWITCH:
    The nervous excitement of spotting a species for the first time. {New Scientist, 1982}
    BODY BUILDERS PSYCHOSIS:
    Psychotic episodes associated with the use of anabolic steroids; causing hallucinations, paranoid delusions, grandiose beliefs and manic-depressive symptoms. {Lancet, 1987}
    BOOKSELLERS BENDS:
    Sickness caused by changes in atmospheric pressure as the book the customer wants is always on the top shelf.
    CASINO FEET:
    Soreness of the feet caused by standing in front of slot machines for long periods of time. {Wilmington Morning Star, 1981}
    CHICKEN NECK WRINGERS FINGER:
    Partial dislocation and arthritis of middle finger joint from continued use of this finger to dislocate chicken necks for slaughtering. {BMA Journal, 1955}
    CHRISTMAS DEPRESSION:
    Psychological stress during holidays related to the use of alcohol and social pressures. {JAMA, 1982}
    CREDIT-CARD-ITIS:
    Pain over the rear and down thigh due to pressure on nerve from a wallet stuffed with credit cards. {New England Medical Journal, 1966}
    DISCO DIGIT:
    A sore finger from snapping fingers while dancing. {New England Medical Journal}
    DOG WALKERS ELBOW:
    Pain caused by constant tension and tugs from a dog leash. {New England Medical Journal, 1979}
    ELECTRONIC SPACE-WAR VIDEO-GAME EPILEPSY:
    Epilepsy caused by the flashing lights of electronic video games. {BMA Journal, 1982}
    ESPRESSO WRIST:
    Pain in espresso coffee machine operators from strong wrist motions required to make the coffee. {JAMA, 1956}
    FLIP-FLOP DERMATITIS:
    Skin disease on feet from wearing rubber flip-flops. {BMA Journal, 1965}
    FRISBEE FINGER:
    Cutting of finger from strenuous throwing of a frisbee. {New England Medical Journal, 1975}
    GOLF ARM:
    Shoulder and elbow pain after too many rounds of golf. {BMA Journal, 1896}
    HOOKERS ELBOW:
    Painful shoulder swelling suffered by fishermen repeatedly jerking upwards on a fishing line. {New England Medical Journal, 1981}
    HOUSWIFITIS:
    Nervous symptoms related to spending too much time managing a busy household. {Centrescope, 1976}
    HUMPERS LUMP:
    Swelling suffered by hotel porters from lugging heavy bags. {Diseases of Occupations, 1975}
    ICE-CREAM FROSTBITE:
    Frostbite on the lips from prolonged contact with ice-cream. {New England Medical Journal, 1982}
    JAZZ BALLET BOTTOM:
    Painful abscesses suffered by dancers who frequently spin on their bottoms. {Daily Telegraph, 1987}
    JEANS FOLLICULITIS:
    Irritation of the hair follicles from the waist down to the knees caused by ultra-tight jeans. {New England Medical Journal, 1981}
    JOYSTICK DIGIT:
    Trigger finger pain following prolonged use of video game joysticks.{JAMA, 1987}
    KNIFE SHARPENERS CRAMP:
    Painful hand swelling from sharpening too many knives. {Diseases of Occupations, 1975}
    LABEL LICKERS TONGUE:
    Ulcers in mouth from sensitivity to sticky labels. {Dangerous Trades, 1902}
    MONEY COUNTERS CRAMP:
    Painful seizure of muscles from counting too much cash. {English University Press, 1975}
    MOTORWAY BLUES:
    The sort of headaches noted by drivers on congested motorways. {BMA Journal, 1963}
    NUNS KNEE:
    Swelling of kneecap from repeated kneeling in prayer. {Diseases of Occupations, 1975}
    OYSTER SHUCKERS KERATITIS:
    Eye irritation from contact with fragments of oyster shells. {BMA Journal, 1896}
    PANTIE GIRDLE SYNDROME:
    Tingling or swelling of feet from wearing a too-tight pantie girdle. {BMA Journal, 1972}
    PLAYERS LIVER:
    The hazard of spending too long in the bar instead of playing the game. {Encyclopedia of Sports, 1971}
    QUICK-DRAW LEG:
    Bullet wound in leg from practicing fast draw from gun in belt holster. {JAMA, 1966}
    REFLEX HORN SYNDROME:
    Tendency for drivers waiting in traffic jams to toot horns. {New England Medical Journal, 1976}
    RETIRED HUSBAND SYNDROME:
    Tension, headaches, depression and anxiety felt by women whose husbands have just retired. {Western Journal of Medicine, 1984}
    SEAMSTRESSES BOTTOM:
    Hardening of skin following long-term trauma of rocking on the hips while operating a sewing machine. {American Family Physician, 1979}
    SICK SANTAS SYNDROME:
    Low back pain from lifting heavy children and parcels and acquired illnesses from multiple contact with kids. {JAMA, 1986}
    TELEVISION LEGS:
    Loss of normal flexibility of the legs from being slumped in a chair in front of the box for too long. {JAMA, 1958}
    TOILET SEAT DERMATITIS:
    Skin irritation on rear from spending too much time on the toilet. {Archive of Dermatology, 1933}
    UNIFORM RASH:
    Skin irritation of neck, chest and arms from wearing new uniforms. {BMJ, 1973}
    VOLKSWAGEN DERMATITIS:
    Allergic skin reaction caused by rubber bumper guards. {Archive of Dermatology, 1971}
    WORKING WIFE SYNDROME:
    Fatigue, irritability, headaches and diminished sex drive from strain of doing two jobs. {Lancet, 1966}
    YOGA FOOT DROP:
    Paralysis of foot due to compounded pressure from practicing Yoga positions. {JAMA, 1971}
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  2. 2 Comments

  3. by   gwenith
    I suffer form at least five of the above - which ones they are I will leave to your imagination!!!!
    Add to the Above:-

    Typewriter tendonitis

    Caused by having ot go back and re-edit all typo's on a post!
    Last edit by gwenith on Apr 29, '03
  4. by   dianah
    Wow, loved them, loved them, loved them!!!! (Sent them on --->) -- D

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