Almost a year ago, a freshman state representative in Wisconsin named Roger Rivard (a Republican, if you can bring yourself to believe it), told the Chetek Alert newspaper something that raised a not insignificant number of eyebrows across the state. In discussing the case of 17-year-old high school senior charged with sexual assault
for having sex with an underage girl, Rivard related a little piece of wisdom his dear father imparted to him: "some girls rape easy."I just read this bit of fluff and it got me to thinking about how we throw this word rape around so easily. It is used pro and con about abortions. It is used to describe how land and the enviroment in general is being abused.
Many of us have intimate knowledge of rape, either our own, or a friend, relative, or co-worker. Reading this quote actually made me ill. I realize what he was attempting to impart to his son. I also realize the message he did give to his son.
It is this message that seems to me to be at the heart of much of the legislation being offered by some legislators. "Women cannot be trusted." "Men know better than women and know what is real rape." Such ignorance must be addressed directly.
Rape is not about sex. All of us know this. It uses sex as a weapon. We all know this.
How can we go forward when our legislators will not accept this?
What did you learn about rape? Who did you learn it from? How has it impacted your life?
Oct 12, '12
As a teen and young adult I would have died rather than be raped.
Once I was foolish enough to go to the apartment of a young man I met in a bookstore. He was the author of a book of poetry. His picture was on the back cover. he asked me if I'd read it and I told hom, "No.'
He said he lived nearby and if i follow him he would give me a copy and autograph it.
At his place he asked me to remove my blouse. I refused and he showed me a kitchen knife in his hand. I yanked the knife from his hand by the blade. He got nervous, went to the door, and opened it saying, "You must be a *** **** virgin."
I ran to my friends apartment. I was bleeding but the cut wasn't deep.
I know he would have had to kill me before i would be raped.
At age 19 I was walking from the gym to my Grandmas place. It was a dark winter evening about 6:00 pm. i was wearing tights with a leotard over them, a shirt, and jacket.
I heard foot steps behind me. Suddenly a man put his hand over my mouth and pulled me into an ally. he was trying to pull my clothing down but couldn't with the leotard over the ballet tights. He dropped me backwards on the asphalt
hitting the back of my head pretty hard. He grabbed my jacket lifting and then dropping me. Then I screamed and wet my pants. He ran away. He didn't rob me.
I went back to the street and flagged down a police car. They asked me, "Was he Black?" I told them I never saw his face and asked for a ride home. I agreed to file a report. They told me a report would do no good. They refused to drive me to my Grandma's place.
Grandma knew something was wrong, but it was years before I told her what happened. I should have.
After I married and had children I rethought my earlier conviction. I knew I wanted to live to raise my kids. I would fight and try to get away but not to the point of losing my life.
I thought that if raped and pregnant i would have the baby. I still don't know whether my husband and i would have raised a rapists child or given him or her up for adoption.
We were God parents for our son's best friend. If anything had happened to his mother we would have raised him. She is a friend to this day.
My parents had the same agreement with close friends of theirs. They died together in a car wreck and their daughter has been my sister since she was two.
But I don't know how we would have felt about a rapists child. I'm glad we never had to make that choice.
I still run the other way if I hear foot steps behind me.
Last edit by herring_RN on Oct 12, '12
: Reason: multiple typos
Nov 24, '12
No means No, and Stop means Stop, any activity after that is beyond the law that should protect females.
I don't care how promiscuous, how extensive her personal relationship history is, or how poorly her character is viewed- these are the girls many predators attack.
It is not just backwards here. I just got back last month from a mission trip to Azerbaijan where they would kill a raped daughter. I have been all over Africa where atrocities against women are too mind and soul depraving to explain! Also, so close to our shore, Haiti is experiencing a rape and molestation epidemic in the tent cities- so much so that stitches, antibiotics, and SANE kits are shipped daily by the United Methodist Missions.
Also, last time I was in Haiti for a 2 week training course on Tropical Diseases: Parasitic Infections, I found that a mainstream church was giving out the day after pills from their clinics. Now I am writing my Church Weekly for the consideration of this offering. After working the evenings after class for 4-6hrs/day(during the course), and seeing a multitude of pre- 15 year olds pregnant, c/o rape, some repetitive- an Iranian Physician Assisting UNICEF Nurse Practitioners stated,"It's really not rape that is the problem, it's PTSD following the quake to blame for this, and once they're pregnant, or infected- they cry rape!" I told him what I had heard all my life growing up,... "You see that girl in there? The one that you said was a 'high risk' anyway, ...she is someone's daughter." I had my post changed the next day by him, and unable to complete my CEU hours (for my Missionology Degree work), I came home early. I can say they have sent some SANE nurses there, but I am so amazed at the way some very educated people think- and how resistant to change they are.
In a world where Senators say "they [women] have auto-abortion mechanisms if they really want to" and "some girls rape easy" and Physicians who say,"It's because the quake stressed the men out,...they need an outlet," we have a long long way to go.
I am proud Nurses are on the front line of prevention, treatment, and crisis intervention for these victims, and their loved ones. My niece just told me a Nurse came to their school and spoke on STDs Rape, and Molestation, along with what to do if it happened to them. It's sad that their innocence has to be challenged, but I totally understand the necessity. Most boys I knew in high school that were molested or assaulted didn't even know 'what' the person was doing to them.
I know I am a male, and my input isn't as heavy as a female's on this subject, but please know most men think of rapists with the same disgust and objection, as is directed to a child predator.
It makes us (men) sick that predators are absent of the protection instinct that 'real' men have for perceived vulnerable humans.
Last edit by BostonTerrierLoverRN on Nov 24, '12
: Reason: Formatting