Raising Teenagers

  1. Hi Y'all. I am pretty new to this BB and becoming addicted. I love talking to other nurses, and can't imagine being anything other than a nurse.

    I have read various threads about birth order and the pros and cons of only children, and wondered how many of you have teenagers hormoning all over your house right now?

    I am a divorced mom of two teenagers. I have been divorced since they were 2 & 4. They are 15 & 13 now. Prayers are always appreciated!:angel2: My daughter frequently seems to be capable of only two emotions: rage and indifference, depending on the time of day. She is 15 and thinks that her life's success at the moment is getting a boyfriend. My son is 13 and is still more of a baby than a man. But he is getting so big! I keep wondering if he is going to slip into manhood easily or if I am going to wake up one day and he is going to be wearing a mustache.

    Their father is almost completely out of the picture, by his own choices in life, not because I removed him. I think they are pretty good kids, for the most part. We go to church and they actually seem to "get it" and care. I just worry that I am still in the beginning of all this process and that there are some serious suprises coming up. Being alone, it gets kind of scary.

    How about you out there?
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  2. 28 Comments

  3. by   live4today
    Lioness......((((((((BIG HUG))))))))))))

    I was previously divorced and left to raise three daughters alone. It's a tough job, but had to be done. I applaud you for giving it your best shot......even if at times you feel as if you aren't doing everything you want to do to make life sweeter for your children.

    My daughters were about ten through 16 when their dad dropped off planet earth into his own world. Not much help there either. So, for the most part, it was "me and the kids".

    The "teen pains" they put me through caused me to become a number one fan of Tylenol......yep.......downed it quite faithfully, I did. Headaches galore.....crying at bedtime after they went to bed because of some of the things they were getting into....acting out...escaping out the bedroom windows at night after I went to bed......letting friends IN their bedroom windows after I went to bed......BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! Those little darlings about drove their mommy insane......they may have slightly succeeded. :chuckle

    Today, they make me very proud! They've come through shining from all their "TEEN PAINS" and have become very responsible and accountable women, wives, and mothers. I'm so blessed to be their mother. :kiss

    Hang in there! Raisng teens is very challenging indeed.....with or without both parents present in the home. It's MORE of a challenge as a single mom, but still a challenge nonetheless either way. If I can ever be of help to you via a "listening ear" or sharing "TEEN STORIES....TEEN TIPS".......just send me a "PM" and I'll respond as soon as I get your message.

    Nighty-night!
  4. by   Jenny P
    Lioness, I wish you luck and much love and patience.

    My 2 kids are now 23 and 20 (son and daughter) and are still ADHD; but on meds and growing up and turning into decent human beings. My son gave me problems with drugs when he was between the ages of 17 and 20, my daughter was born with PMS and still has radical mood swings when we least expect it. And I have a husband who helped raise them! But I know that there are many Moms out there who have done it by themselves and had nice kids.
  5. by   kids
    Mine are 23, 19 and 18 (on 9/28). I was a single Mom for 12 or the youngest's life...So far I have survived and they turned/are turning out to be some pretty decent people.

    A couple of things to remeber when you think you can't take anymore: (1) Eventually they grow up and you will like them again (I always loved my kids but definately went through some years where I didn't like them). (2) Grandchildren are your reward for not killing them.
  6. by   TheLionessRN
    Thanks for the replies.
    I completely forgot to mention that my son is taking Adderall for his ADD. He failed 5th grade because I was too stubborn to put him on the meds before.
    So, it is normal that my daughter is not the most pleasant person to be around, and that we just don't seem to talk much anymore? I sort of feel like my best defense is to not engage her unless I have to, cause she is just not much fun to be around right now.
  7. by   TheLionessRN
    When did I become an idiot??? Will I stop being an idiot when she turns 18, by magic, or do I have to wait til she has her first child?
  8. by   kids
    This was a pretty good thread on life with teenagers. You have a lot of support here

    http://allnurses.com/forums/showthre...threadid=13137
  9. by   bagladyrn
    Hi - I speak as the mother of 5 boys, one by birth and 4 foster sons. I got all the foster sons when they were in their teens, Some days it was testosterone you could cut with a knife. The most important thing is to keep your sense of humor - you will need it, and you can often disarm a teen that way - it's hard for them to hold on to an attitude if they are laughing. I frequently told the boys their major probblem was that with raging hormones, all the blood flow got diverted, never made it to their brain, therefore they did stupid things. I threatened them with total humiliation on regular occasions - going up to the school dressed like the stereotypical "housewife from h*ll" if they got in trouble, complete with hair rollers and house slippers, making sure everyone knew I was their mom. Since they weren't absolutely sure I wouldn't (have done some silly things) this made them think twice. Let them get away with asserting themselves in ways that don't matter too much ( hair will always grow out, no matter what color or cut) and save the confrontation for the really big issues!
    Take heart - mine have all turned into human beings, and now I get the pleasure of being outrageous and embarrassing THEM!
  10. by   RNinICU
    Hang in there. I had six kids over nine years, so I had a houseful of teenagers for a long time. I feel I was very lucky with my kids, never had problems with drugs or alcohol. They did go through the surly stage, and the talking back stage, though. When you see the changes that they go through during their teens, it can be very scary. I always joked that kids should be locked in their bedroom at the age of twelve, and not left out until they are twenty one. I do believe that, even if they give you problems through the teen years, if they have a good foundation of love and discipline, they will grow into happy adults. It sounds like you are giving them that foundation. Teens are trying out their independence. They want to be free of their parents, but want to know that they are loved and accepted by them. I had plenty of days when I didn't like my kids very much, but I always loved them.
  11. by   Rustyhammer
    I have a 15 year old girl who's moods vary from indiference and that "dark mood" to being "daddies little girl".
    I never know what side she is going to be on so I tread softly in the morning til I get the sign.
    I'm hoping she will grow out of it (and SOON!). wife tells me she will, that its all normal (so to speak).
    -Russell
  12. by   OBNURSEHEATHER
    Originally posted by Rustyhammer
    I have a 15 year old girl who's moods vary from indiference and that "dark mood" to being "daddies little girl".
    I never know what side she is going to be on so I tread softly in the morning til I get the sign.
    I'm hoping she will grow out of it (and SOON!). wife tells me she will, that its all normal (so to speak).
    -Russell
    That's funny Rusty! I think all girls go through the same thing! My mom used to greet me in the morning sometimes.... "Good morning Cybil.... who will you be today?" :chuckle

    But she let me be what I had to be, within safe boundaries of course, and I love her so much for it!

    Heather
  13. by   Momma_Penguin
    HUGGSSSSSSS Lioness. I have two boys 15 and almost 11. At times the older oner likes to explain things to me like I am an idiot. I know I also did this to my Mom ... (I knew she put that Mother's curse on me ) But I discovered she was very intelligent after I got pregnant w/ the 1 st one. My youngest is built like a tanker but is such a baby. But I think boys are different to raise at this timethan girls.
    So it may take that long for her to realize. I tell ya after that she was one of my best friends til she died... I thought she was an out of date person w/ no clue, and I discovered I was so wrong. I am married, but the hubby never replaces your mama. So I hope that your daughter will soon rise on the sunny side of the bed every morning soon. Adolescence sucks, like cramps, but it soon will pass and the aliens will bring your daughter home. My Mom would say " I think I got the wrong baby from the hospital" when me or my sis would be esp obnoxious to her. And now there times I miss her soo much and it's been 8 yrs since she passed. Bless you in the dealings w/ teens...sometimes a whip and a chair are needed....and sometimes lots of hug!! I just wanna know what happened to the owner's manual? I musta lost mine on the way home from the hospital. :chuckle Laura LPN
  14. by   teeituptom
    Howdy yall
    from deep in the heat of texas

    Ive raised 6 of my 7, 1 left. A 14 y/o hormonally challenged female. Ive gotten to old for this stuff. shes only daddies girl when she wants money or to go to a hockey game, and I hate hockey. Have you checked out the price of hockey puck tickets.
    But fortunately I have a wife to bear the brunt of it, thank god for a good wife.
    She already has a little empty nest syndrome, me I just go play golf....................................




    doo wah ditty

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