Question for Parents of 5,6,7 year olds

  1. I'm teaching my 5 year old the body parts that people other than myself or her grandparents are not allowed to touch. She knows they are not supposed to touch her chest (non-existant breasts), her "bun-buns" and the "front". I thought it be a little silly for her to use words like vagina and such, and right now she calls the vagina her "front bun-bun" which is a little weird sounding also. Any of you have any other suggestions for decent-sounding euphemisms for body parts?
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  2. 15 Comments

  3. by   maire
    Hrm...well I taught my 6-yr-old the proper terminology for everything, so I'm at a loss. She refers to them as her "privates," though, if that helps any.
  4. by   live4today
    I raised three girls, and I taught them the correct terminology since that's what they are called - biologically speaking. Americans seem so shy about referring to our body parts correctly, instead we'd rather assign derogatory or weird sounding names to our body parts. When parents do this, they are usually insecure about talking about the sexual side of the human body themselves, especially with their children. Would you be one of those parents by any chance?

    How about telling your child that NO ONE should touch her privacy parts (chest, breast, butt, or anything in between) EXCEPT you - her mother. If gramma keeps her at her house, or babysits her, gramma can bathe her, but Grampa has NO rights to touch her as a female, even if Grampa is the greatest grampa on the face of the earth. As an incest survivor myself, I taught my three girls that NO MAN - not Daddy, not Grampa, not Uncle, not any male cousins, or anything male - could EVER touch their privacy parts (breast, chest, butt, vagina or vaginal area; nor are they to ever let them kiss them on the lips - no, not ever! Now, I know that in some cultures kissing on the lips is socially acceptable. I'm not speaking against anyone's culture here, but hopefully you all undertand the gest of what I mean here.

    Mothers must get BOLD with teaching about the subject of molestation and incest events with their children. Educate them using the proper terminology, and so forth for their own protection when you aren't around. I can't emphasize this enough! Teach your children, and repeat what you teach until they are grown. They may forget as children what you say about this, so that's why it is important to re-iterate it often as they grow. Do it each year on their birthdays, as I did my kids. They MUST know!!! Teaching them this knowledge could save their life one day.

    Children can handle far more than we give them credit for, especially when relating to their body parts that God made good, healthy, and for a healthy reason. Teach them HEALTH and they will prayerfully remember to treat their own health as a prize that shouldn't be opened by anyone but them one day - and NEVER against their will. I'd be happy to address any incest issues if anyone has any. Thanks!
    Last edit by live4today on Jun 3, '02
  5. by   cargal
    I raised three daughters. My oldest is now 4.0 at a major medical university. I taught correct terminology, but did not make a big deal of it. They used to watch a show that warned to report anyone who tried to touch them where their bathing suit covers. Years later, they remember that!
  6. by   LasVegasRN
    Thanks Cheerful...

    No, I don't have any problem discussing sexual issues, but she is only 5 years old. When she is older she will get the full anatomy run-down but I think there is something to be said about retaining some childhood innocence. Granted, I understand what you are saying about molestation issues, but I don't think having her say "vagina" and "penis" at such an early age will make a difference in her being able to tell someone "NO!" and to be able to make clear when someone is/has done something inappropriate.

    Both my parents, (her grandma and grandpa) were equals in teaching my sister and I in what was not appropriate while growing up. As my sister and I matured, my Mom took the lead while Dad made sure we knew of things from the male point of view. While my Dad bathed us as we grew up without any inappropriateness, I trust he would do the same with my daughter AND that he will protect her and guide her just as well as he did with my sister and I. He did, at some point "monitor" our bathing without actually doing it himself to make sure we "hit the pits" and didn't go out of the house looking dirty or smelling stinky. However, just as I grew up knowing WHO could bathe me and WHO could not, I'm confident I can instill the same with my daughter, starting now.
  7. by   OBNURSEHEATHER
    Hmmm... can't really help ya here. My boy is 7 and refers to his penis and all of it's accessories as everything under the sun (willy, weiner, balls, beanbag, penis, etc)

    He's well aware that no one should ever touch him in those areas, unless they have his permission (for example at the doctors office).

    Unfortunately, in true boy fashion, he talks about his miraculous body parts as if they are the center of the universe, fascinating to all.

    HEather
  8. by   live4today
    Originally posted by LasVegasRN
    Thanks Cheerful...

    No, I don't have any problem discussing sexual issues, but she is only 5 years old. When she is older she will get the full anatomy run-down but I think there is something to be said about retaining some childhood innocence. Granted, I understand what you are saying about molestation issues, but I don't think having her say "vagina" and "penis" at such an early age will make a difference in her being able to tell someone "NO!" and to be able to make clear when someone is/has done something inappropriate.

    Both my parents, (her grandma and grandpa) were equals in teaching my sister and I in what was not appropriate while growing up. As my sister and I matured, my Mom took the lead while Dad made sure we knew of things from the male point of view. While my Dad bathed us as we grew up without any inappropriateness, I trust he would do the same with my daughter AND that he will protect her and guide her just as well as he did with my sister and I. He did, at some point "monitor" our bathing without actually doing it himself to make sure we "hit the pits" and didn't go out of the house looking dirty or smelling stinky. However, just as I grew up knowing WHO could bathe me and WHO could not, I'm confident I can instill the same with my daughter, starting now.
    Hello Vegas, I wish I had parents that could be trusted with my well being when growing up, but since I didn't, I learned to teach my own children everything and anything that in my mind would keep them safe. I learned about menstruation from being a girl scout, and when I finally started my periods, I told my mom who told my oldest sister to deal with it.

    When I was twelve, I STILL believed my mom's story about the stork bringing me to live with them. I saw pregnant women, but it didn't dawn on me how they got that way. Then, in high school, I learned as I grew into my teen years, and thank God for health class in high school, or I would have graduated high school not knowing correct biological terms, etc. in reference to the human body. I never let my girls grow up the way I did. They are the pride and joy of my life, and I'd kill some S.O.B. for hurting one hair on their head.

    However a parent can get through to their little ones about being safe and keeping their bodies safe, whatever works, DO IT! You sound so blessed to have had the mom and dad that you did. If I could be born again, I wouldn't want to be unless I could choose my parents myself. I got a bum deal, but I made up for it with my three girls. They are excellent mommies themselves, and my eleven grandchildren know more about their bodies than I ever did at their age, thanks to the wonderful teaching they get from their parents. God bless you, Vegas. :kiss
  9. by   live4today
    Originally posted by OBNURSEHEATHER
    Hmmm... can't really help ya here. My boy is 7 and refers to his penis and all of it's accessories as everything under the sun (willy, weiner, balls, beanbag, penis, etc)

    He's well aware that no one should ever touch him in those areas, unless they have his permission (for example at the doctors office).

    Unfortunately, in true boy fashion, he talks about his miraculous body parts as if they are the center of the universe, fascinating to all.

    HEather
    Hi Heather

    My eight year old grandson also seems to have that "true boy fashion" mentality when it comes to his "miraculous body parts as if they are the center of the universe". :roll :chuckle
  10. by   LasVegasRN
    Cheerful, you sound like the coolest Grandma! :angel2:
    Your children and grandkids are truly blessed!
  11. by   NurseDennie
    I agree with the poster who said that there is a lot to be said for childhood innocense. Plus the words "penis" and "vagina or vulva" are difficult for little people to pronounce.

    In England, the buttocks is the bumm and the vulva is the fanny - little kids can deal with that. I only had girl children, so I didn't have to worry with any odd names for the male equipment.

    I'd had the "inappropriate touching" talk with my older daughter, who was about 3 at the time. She just listened calmly and then looked at me with not just a hint of disgust, and said "Well, yes..... But I SUSPECT that most adults won't be interested in my privates."

    Man - did she tell ME what's what!! This is the daughter who still points out bruises on her arms or legs and teases me by saying "It's a thumbprint! Somebody tried to grab me!!!!"

    I think a very important point is to make sure the kid understand that ANYTHING like that is something you tell your mama, no matter who tells you that it isn't! I always told my kids that we could have surprises in our family, but NO SECRETS. So if somebody tells you never to tell your mama "Whatever" that is exactly what you SHOULD tell your mama, tout de suite!!

    Okay, that's my 2 cents' worth.

    Love

    Dennie
  12. by   Jenny P
    I used the "swim suit" analogy myself: your swim suit covers your "privates" and they are not to be touched or exposed by others. I used this for both my son and daughter, and did use correct terminology for all body parts. So many people forget that boys can be targets of pedophiles also and I have a friend whose son was sexually abused by another young boy in a restroom at school. (It turns out the other boy was sexually abused by an adult; so he in turn preyed on another child just a year younger than him-- my friends' son.) It isn't just adults who do this; it is anyone who may also have been a victim themselves.

    Please teach the children correct terms and also that there is a difference between good touch and bad touch. I found that my kids could differenciate between the 2 at a very young age, in spite of being ADHD.
  13. by   hoolahan
    Wow, good thread. I basically just taught my kids that no stranger should ever touch them anywhere! I never even thought to mention male family members, I am sorry this had to happen to you or anyone cheerful.

    BTW Renee, my M-I-L was 18 before she got her peiord, and had no idea what was happening to her, my F-I-L explained it to her when they were dating. When she got married, she had NO IDEA what sex was, my F-I-L had to teach her everything, including that sex is how babies come into this world.

    Heather, some things never change. My 15-yr old refers to his as his "huge american penis." LOL!

    In my house we call the girl parts the "coochie", butt or hiney is rear-end, we use any word of the moment for boy equipment, much like Heather's son. Balls are just balls, the boys have the real ones, I have the brass ones! LOL!!
  14. by   LasVegasRN
    Originally posted by NurseDennie
    In England, the buttocks is the bumm and the vulva is the fanny - little kids can deal with that. I only had girl children, so I didn't have to worry with any odd names for the male equipment.
    Hee - I have to giggle, I have two Aunt Fanny's! :chuckle

    Hoolahan - we could start a whole thread on men's names for their penises!

    Oh, my mother would straight PASS OUT if she heard "coochie" come out of my daughter's mouth! I'd crack up. :roll

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