Quazi ethical question

  1. ok... just need an opinion...

    is it wrong to go and hang out with an opposite sexed friend, to go out and lets say, have dinner/lunch... perhaps go to karaoke afterwards... Basically a kitchy hang out type thing...if you're in a devoted relationship w/ someone else?
    (ie not bring the SO along)

    Having this debate w/ my buds...
    personally, I have no problem with it...

    --Barbara
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  2. Poll: Is it wrong or is it OK (see below)

    • Its fine

      78.38% 29
    • No, Wait... dont

      18.92% 7
    • Gee... I'm feeling indifferent... or, I'm a hermit... either or, take your pick

      2.70% 1
    37 Votes
  3. 49 Comments

  4. by   adrienurse
    Depends how cool your SO is. Oh yeah, is the friend gay?
  5. by   Lausana
    If the tables were turned and it was him going out with "a friend" would it be acceptable to you, or would that person be someone you might question?
  6. by   Rustyhammer
    Sometimes you NEED to be with other people. That is, other than your SO.
    Not only is it ok, It's necessary.
    You need to talk about things that your SO has no clue about.
    You need to have other contact to avoid the feeling of being smothered.
    Just cause you go out with other people doesnt mean you are trying to sleep with them.
    ok..I'll hush now.
    -R
  7. by   Rustyhammer
    Oh yeah,
    If your SO doesn't trust you then maybe it's time to question the relationship.
    -R
  8. by   PennyLane
    I think it would depend on how you feel about this other friend. Are there any 'feelings' involved? Attraction? How does this person feel about you? ARe you open about your plans with this person, or do you hide it from your SO? All in all, I think it's fine, as long as you are open and honest both with your SO, and with yourself regarding any feelings/attraction towards your friend.
  9. by   GPatty
    I wouldn't want my husband going out to lunch and/or anywhere else with a female friend. It doesn't look right. I have male friends, but to go out with one? No. I don't think so.
  10. by   kittyw
    Ok ... here's what I'd ask if someone asked me this: Does your SO know this person? Where are you in your relationship? I'd make sure that my SO got to know this person so he'd feel comfortable with it. I'd also make sure that I (or he) kept everything on the table - where and when we're going - so as to avoid misunderstandings (and anyone else meddling in our relationship).

    I wouldn't do it unless he was okay with it - and if he wasn't then I'd evaluate why.
  11. by   nurseman
    You talk to people of the opposite sex and your in a devoted relationship? How dare you!
    OMG Why hasn't your SO put you up against the wall and shot you? You should give up all
    your friends and pastimes to devote your self totally to making your SO's life better. I don't even
    think that you should be reading this post because I'm male.

    Now I'm single on the other hand. I have lots of female friends that I hang out with on a regular
    basis. We go to movies together, have lunch go shopping. They even pass out on my couch after
    a night of partying. Even though we happen to be of the opposite sex we are friends.

    It does not matter that we have never done anything romantic the second I'm in a relationship I'll
    break off these friendships because they happen to be the opposite sex of me.
  12. by   Q.
    I think if your SO means anything to you, you would take his feelings into consideration on deciding on if this is acceptable or not.

    I see nothing wrong with friendships/lunches with the opposite sex. In that same sense I see no reason why your SO should be kept in the dark about it. If you can't tell him about it, then perhaps ya gotta think about why you are hiding it.
  13. by   Rustyhammer
    Nobody said anything about keeping it a secret from the SO.
    Live your life, go out with your friends when you think you should.
    Remember which side your bread is buttered on.
    -Russell
  14. by   Rustyhammer
    It has always been a bit of a pet peeve of mine when I ask someone (from work or just a friend) out for a drink or dinner and they say "My husband wont let me".
    YOUR HUSBAND WONT LET YOU????
    What are you? Some kind of child or possesion??
    Arent you an adult that can make your own decisions??
    C'mon now. Get your OWN life.
    -Russell
  15. by   Q.
    Hmmm Rusty...are you stirrin' the pot?

    I think there is a difference between saying "my husband won't LET me" and saying "No, I don't think it's a good idea" for whatever reason.

    My husband and I have a huge network of friends; typically we're either out together with all of them or he's out and I'm home studying. In that group are several females that he hangs with, sometimes he drives them home or to their car. Do I have a problem with it? No, because I know them and it's in a larger group. But to just consistently go out with one of them and purposely exclude me? Nope. That ain't a marriage.

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