Pregnancy Questions & Answers & More

  1. Q: Should I have a baby after 35? [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]
    A: No, 35 children is enough.

    Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]
    A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.[FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]

    Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex? [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]
    A: Childbirth.

    Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational. [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]
    A: So what's your question?

    Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right? [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]
    A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

    Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?[FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus] [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]
    A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

    Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor? [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]
    A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

    Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth? [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]
    A: Yes, pregnancy.

    Q: Do I have to have a baby shower? [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]
    A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.[FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]

    Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]
    A: When the kids are in college.

    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]

    10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"[FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]

    1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.[FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus] [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]
    2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet. [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]
    3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.[FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus] [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]
    4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say. [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]
    5. You' re using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 1- 800-". [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]
    6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.[FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus] [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]
    7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space".[FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus] [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]
    8. You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus.[FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus] [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]
    9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.[FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus] [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]
    10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday..

    TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND[FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]

    10. Cats' facial expressions.[FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus] [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]
    9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.[FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus] [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]
    8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.[FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus] [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]
    7. Fat clothes. [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]
    6 Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.[FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus] [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]
    5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.[FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus] [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]
    4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.[FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus] [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]
    3. Eyelash curlers.[FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus] [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]
    2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made. [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]
    AND, the number one number one thing only women understand:

    1. OTHER WOMEN[FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]

    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]"That
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  2. 5 Comments

  3. by   suzy253
    Allow me to be the 1st by saying 'good ones Fran'. Can always count on you to bring a smile!!! Thanks my friend. :spin:
  4. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    Q: Should I have a baby after 35? [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]A: No, 35 children is enough.

    Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

    Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex? [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]A: Childbirth.

    Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational. [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]A: So what's your question?

    Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right? [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

    Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?[FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

    Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor? [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

    Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth? [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]A: Yes, pregnancy.

    Q: Do I have to have a baby shower? [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

    Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]A: When the kids are in college.
    Sounds like Pregnancy 101 with Erma Bombeck as the professor lol.
  5. by   nursemary9
    :roll :roll :roll :roll
    Very Good, Fran

    Mary ann
  6. by   rn/writer
    Thanks for some much-needed humor. Just one problem--I don't know whether to laugh or cry over the fact that I could relate to most of them.

    Thanks, Fran.
  7. by   Jessy_RN
    Hehe, love these too!

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