Politics and Cows....

  1. This is a little long, but stay with it. You'll enjoy it.
    > >
    The Cow Story:

    > >DEMOCRAT
    > >
    > >You have two cows.
    > >Your neighbor has none.
    > >You feel guilty for being successful.
    > >You vote people into office that put a tax on your cows, forcing you
    > >to sell one to raise money to pay the tax.
    > >
    > >The people you voted for then take the tax money, buy a cow and give
    > >it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.
    > >Barbara Streisand sings for you.
    > >
    > >
    > >SOCIALIST
    > >
    > >You have two cows.
    > >The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
    > >You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
    > >
    > >
    > >REPUBLICAN
    > >
    > >You have two cows.
    > >Your neighbor has none.
    > >So?
    > >
    > >
    > >COMMUNIST
    > >
    > >You have two cows.
    > >The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
    > >You wait in line for hours to get it.
    > >It is expensive and sour.
    > >
    > >
    > >CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
    > >
    > >You have two cows.
    > >You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
    > >
    > >
    > >DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
    > >
    > >You have two cows.
    > >The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to
    > >support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was
    > >a gift from your government.
    > >
    > >
    > >BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
    > >
    > >You have two cows.
    > >The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you
    > >for the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.
    > >
    > >
    > >AMERICAN CORPORATION
    > >
    > >You have two cows.
    > >You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
    > >You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.
    > >You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
    > >You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized
    > >and are reducing expenses.
    > >Your stock goes up.
    > >
    > >
    > >FRENCH CORPORATION
    > >
    > >You have two cows.
    > >You go on strike because you want three cows.
    > >You go to lunch.
    > >Life is good.
    > >
    > >
    > >JAPANESE CORPORATION
    > >
    > >You have two cows.
    > >You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
    > >and produce twenty times the milk.
    > >They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
    > >Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
    > >
    > >
    > >GERMAN CORPORATION
    > >
    > >You have two cows.
    > >You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give
    > >excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
    > >Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
    > >
    > >
    > >ITALIAN CORPORATION
    > >
    > >You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
    > >While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
    > >You break for lunch.
    > >Life is good.
    > >
    > >
    > >RUSSIAN CORPORATION
    > >
    > >You have two cows.
    > >You have some vodka.
    > >You count them and learn you have five cows.
    > >You have some more vodka.
    > >You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
    > >The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
    > >
    > >
    > >TALIBAN CORPORATION
    > >
    > >You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
    > >You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private
    > >parts.
    > >Then you kill them and claim a US bomb blew them up while they were
    > >in the hospital.
    > >
    > >
    > >POLISH CORPORATION
    > >
    > >You have two bulls.
    > >Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
    > >
    > >
    > >FLORIDA CORPORATION
    > >
    > >You have a black cow and a brown cow.
    > >Everyone votes for the best looking one.
    > >Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black
    > >one.
    > >Some people vote for both.
    > >Some people vote for neither.
    > >Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
    > >Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the
    > >best-looking cow.
    > >
    > >
    > >NEW YORK CORPORATION
    > >
    > >You have fifteen million cows.
    > >You have to choose which one will be the leader of the herd, so you
    > >pick some cow from Arkansas.
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  2. 8 Comments

  3. by   funnygirl_rn
    jnette...lol. I posted this same joke about 2-3 weeks ago...everytime I read it...I ALWAYS get a good laugh out of it!!
  4. by   jnette
    Originally posted by funnygirl_rn
    jnette...lol. I posted this same joke about 2-3 weeks ago...everytime I read it...I ALWAYS get a good laugh out of it!!
    :imbar :imbar :imbar oooooooooooooooooops !!!

    How did I MISS that !??? Sorry !

    Oh well.. it IS pretty darn good, tho', eh?
  5. by   bedpan
    LOL!!!! c&p'ing this one to friends of mine via e-mail!
  6. by   Spidey's mom
    Very funny and worth reading . .thanks jnette!:chuckle

    steph
  7. by   live4today
    Originally posted by jnette
    This is a little long, but stay with it. You'll enjoy it.
    > >
    The Cow Story:



    > >REPUBLICAN
    > >
    > >You have two cows.
    > >Your neighbor has none.
    > >So?
    :roll

    A very typical "republican response", jnette.
  8. by   Mkue
    ITALIAN CORPORATION

    You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
    While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
    You break for lunch.
    Life is good.


    FUNNY !
    :chuckle
  9. by   teeituptom
    And they all make cow paddies
  10. by   nursenoelle
    Good One

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