Please share your blonde jokes....

  1. OK, this seems to be the most popular kind of joke, so let's all share our favorite blonde jokes!

    Texas Blonde

    As a trucker stops for a red light, a BLONDE girl catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather, I'm from Texas and you are losing some of your load." The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.

    When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the girl says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, I'm from Texas, and you are losing some of your load!" Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street.

    At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the girl gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather, I'm from Texas, and you are losing some of your load!"

    When the light turns green, the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the girl. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says... Hi, my name is Kevin, it's winter in Massachusetts and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!


    Heather
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  2. 82 Comments

  3. by   WashYaHands
    What did the blonde say when she opened the box of Cheerios?

    "Oh, look, Doughnut seeds!"

    Linda (no offense to anyone, my daughter is blonde and smart as a whip).
  4. by   cargal
    When asked if dumb blonde jokes offend her, Dolly Parton replied "No, because I know I'm not dumb, and I know I'm not blonde!"
  5. by   micro
    *how many blondes does it take to wallpaper a room*
  6. by   2ndCareerRN
    A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to
    become detectives.
    To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

    The first blonde answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast
    because he only has one eye!"

    The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture
    shows his profile." Slightly flustered by this ridiculous
    response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second
    blonde and asks her, "This is your suspect, how would you
    recognize him?"

    The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says,
    "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"

    The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you
    two?!? Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING
    because it's a picture of his profile!! Is that the best answer you can come up with?

    Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" He quickly adds"...think hard before giving me a stupid answer."

    The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and
    says, "Hmmmm ... the suspect wears contact lenses."


    The policeman is surprised and speechless because he
    really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts
    or not. "Well, that's an interesting answer ... wait here
    for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to
    you on that."

    He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the
    suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with
    a beaming smile on his face. "Wow! I can't believe
    it ... it's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses.
    Good work! How were you able to make such an astute
    observation?"

    "That's easy," the blonde replied. "He can't wear
    regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."



    bob
  7. by   Robin61970
    Oldy....How does a blonde turn on the light after sex? *groan* She opens the car door.
    Why does a blonde wear underwear? To keep her ankles warm.


    I know more....give me time to think...haven't done this since Navy days.....
  8. by   kaycee
    I walked into Dairy Queen the other day and asked for a hot fudge
    Sundae with extra hot fudge.

    The BLONDE replied, "The hot fudge only comes in one temperature, ma'am."
  9. by   shygirl
    Last edit by shygirl on Sep 7, '02
  10. by   RNinICU
    How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
    Three, one to mix the dough, and two to peel the M&Ms

    What is the first thing a blonde says after sex?
    Do you guys all play for the same team?

    Why did the blonde get fired from th M&M factory?
    She kept throwing away the w's.

    How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer?
    There is white-out on the screen.
  11. by   ptnurse
    A blonde is stopped on the side of the road with a flat tire. Two men wearing only trench coats get out of the blonde's car and immediately start opening and closing their coats. This causes a pile up involving several cars. When the police arrive and find the men exposing themselves, they ask the blonde what in the world the men are doing. She answers, "Well dud, emergency flashers"
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    A blonde, a brunnette and a redhead agree to a swimming contest across a lake using the breast stroke. The redhead makes it to the opposite shore in about an hour followed closely by the brunnett. They wait for several hours and finally the blonde makes it to shore. The blonde immediately complains to the judge saying, "I think those other girls were swimming with their arms."
  12. by   hoolahan
    What is blonde-brunette-blonde-brunette-blonde?
    A blonde doing cartwheels!
  13. by   NurseDennie
    What do you call an extremely handsome man with a brunette?

    A hostage.

    Blonde revenge. (no I'm more a redhead, both my daughters are blondies)

    Love

    Dennie
  14. by   live4today
    Sorry......the only blonde joke I know is the one who helped ruin my three children's lives by helping the S.O.B. I used to call "hubby dear" to destroy our 18 year marriage, and leave our children fatherless! Gritting my teeth now........

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