Please help me write baby shower invites!

  1. Help!

    My daughter's baby shower is 12/10. Her best girlfriend and I are doing one big one...+/- 30 family & friends. We have planned it for a weekday evening so it will be self limiting on the food and time.

    The problem is with the invitations...I want to include the "standard" comment about attendace being the greatest gift BUT is there any tactful way to mention that we/she will gladly accept cash towards the bigger basics ie bassinette, carseat etc?

    Should we NOT put it in the body of the invitation but enclose a seperate note?

    Is there a non-tacky way to say gifts are nice but not expected but if you want to bring a gift and don't know what to buy we will accept cash towards the baby gear on layaway?

    I don't want to offend anyone and I really don't want to end up the topic of a Dear Abby colum.

    How would you do it?
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  3. by   jnette
    Just the way you put it. If they're coming to the shower, I'd assume they are friends who WANT to be there to offer support and do what they can. A FRIEND won't be offended, and they'll understand just what the needs are. I think the added note (seperate from the body of the invitation) is appropriate. Throw in a little humor, and you've got it !

    If anyone is that easily offended, they've either never had a babyshower themselves with real needs, or they're not a friend to begin with. JMHO...
  4. by   BadBird
    Just my opinion but if you include that in the invitation it does sound tacky. What about a little wishing well like they do at weddings for cash, how about a little baby buggy one? Oh well, I am not an expert on these matters, have fun at the shower.
  5. by   rebelwaclause
    Kids...You're funny. You are sweet thinking about "how to be" to your friends...But your friends "want to be" good to their friend..YOU!

    You said it the way I'd tell my friends:

    "Oooo Yall....Gifts are cool, but I really need the doe! hahahaha"

    Or, if you'd like to be a little more proper, try something like "Please purchase your gift certificates at the following retail stores..." then list your picks.

    Or "Your presence is what makes us happy. Gifts have been pre-selected by mommy and daddy to be. However, certificates or monetary donations can be made payable to...(Put your daughters expected name as a cute gesture) ".

    Helpful? (Please check one):

    Yes No Maybe


    PS...Now where do I send my donation? (smile again).
  6. by   Stargazer
    Sorry, kids-r-fun, but all the etiquette mavens agree that there is NO polite way to "direct" folks how to give gifts, or even to refer to gifts in an invitation, period. It is not even correct to say, "no gifts, please" because gifts are never supposed to be expected.

    There was a huge discussion on one of my other boards about a bride who had instructed her bridesmaid (who was throwing a shower for her) to include a separate sheet in the invitation giving her gift registry info. The bridesmaid balked, and posted her problem on our board for discussion. We all agreed that would be tacky, tacky, tacky.

    This info CAN be circulated, but it has to be done in an informal way--word-of-mouth or telephone. If you or the best friend normally exchange emails with some of the people on your invite list (and I assume you would) you could casually mention it there. Word should get around.

    Just, please, I beg of you, DON'T put it in writing anywhere in the invitation, even on a separate card.
  7. by   CraftyLPN
    A money "baby buggy" might go over well. When my mom/sis threw my PN grad party, someone drew a "money tree" and I had enough to pay for my NCLEX and a lil mad $$ on the side!
  8. by   jnette I'm not Miss Etiquette or Martha Stewart.

    Guess I just prefer to be up front and honest. Thought that's what a shower is FOR...and if I go to one, I want to give something the person needs...and I expect to be informed of those needs. Why hide behind "etiquette"? Why do we consider an honest request "tacky"?

    Again, that's just MY way of looking at things, so don't anybody get offended out there !

    Go with what you and your daughter are COMFORTABLE with... nothing more and nothing less. You alone know your friends best......
    It is a big boo-boo to include any mention of gifts or regristry info with the invitation.

    While gifts shouldn't be expected, it is common knowledge that if you're coming you should bring something, so most people usually inquire about such info when they call to RSVP (which, sadly, some idiots don't feel they need to do - but that's another thread!)

    HINT: If she has everything she needs already in layaway, make sure that when pople ask that you word it so that they don't gets gift certificates for those places. GC's often cannot be used toward layaway payments.