Plan for peace

  1. Robin Williams plan...(Hard to argue with most of this logic!)
    >I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of one plan
    >for peace. " Books, not Bombs" won't work. The head mullahs won't let
    >read them. If they do, they poke their eyes out.
    >Here's the plan:
    >1) The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their
    >affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini and the rest of them
    >'good old boys'. We will never "interfere" again.
    >2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with
    >Germany, South Korea and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We
    >would station troops at our borders. No more sneaking through holes in the
    >3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave.
    >We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be
    >gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of who or where they are.
    >France would welcome them.
    >4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days
    >unless given a special permit. No one from a terrorist nation would be
    >allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself, don't hide
    >here. Asylum would not ever be available to anyone. We don't need any more
    >5) No "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't
    >attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home baby.
    >6) The US will make a strong effort to become self sufficient energy wise.
    >This will include developing non polluting sources of energy but will
    >require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou
    will have to cope for a while.
    >7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for
    >their oil. If they don't like it, we go someplace else.
    >8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will
    >not "interfere". They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain,
    >cement or whatever they need. Besides' most of what we give them is stolen
    >given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if any
    >9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an island some place. We don't need the
    >spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, it would make a good homeless
    >shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.
    >9b) Use the buildings as replacement for the twin towers.
    >10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can
    >call us "Ugly Americans" any longer.
    >Now, ain't that a winner of a plan.
    >"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired,
    >your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'You want
    >a piece of me?'" - Robin Williams

    I've seen this before, if it was here, I apologize for the duplication. I just found it humorous.
  2. 8 Comments

  3. by   WashYaHands
    I've seen it before too, but enjoyed reading it again. Thanks!

  4. by   Mkue
    Robin Williams is one of my favorites !

    Thanks !
  5. by   Furball
    I read this before too but I still enjoy it very much. (except I thought it was written by Dennis Miller?)
  6. by   Caveman
    Does sound more like Dennis Miller.
  7. by   pickledpepperRN
    9/11 panel will be asked about documents

    By Shaun Waterman
    From the Washington Politics & Policy Desk
    Published 4/30/2003 6:04 PM

    WASHINGTON, April 30 (UPI) -- Officials of the blue ribbon commission set up to investigate the Sept. 11 terror attacks will be questioned at its meeting Thursday about a
    decision to let the U.S. government screen materials before releasing them to commission members.

    One commissioner, and representatives of the families of the 3,000 killed in the attacks, are concerned that Justice Department officials were allowed to review transcripts
    of congressional testimony, before deciding whether commissioners should see them.

    "There's no entity that should be going through the basic material that the commission is to review and filtering it to decide if or when we should be able to see it,"
    commission member and former Democratic Indiana Congressman Tim Roemer told United Press International. "By statute we are entitled to that information."

    The transcripts at issue are of sessions of the special joint inquiry by house and senate intelligence committees into the institutional and other failures that allowed the 19
    members of the al-Qaida terror network to enter the country, hijack four planes and crash them into buildings in New York and Washington.

    Although the sessions were closed for national security reasons, all the commission members have security clearances.

    Roemer was actually present at the hearings, as he was then a member of the house intelligence committee.

    All the documents were released to the commissioners on Wednesday after a five-day period, but Kristen Breitweizer, a representative of the families, says the delay is still
    the cause of concern for them.

    "Our problem was the delay," she told UPI. "Why did the Justice Department need five days? They've had months to look at those transcripts."

    "Every day's delay (to the commission's work) is another day we're at risk."

    Roemer said he is worried that commission officials, by striking the deal they did with the administration, have set a dangerous precedent.

    "That's just not the way we should be conducting this inquiry," he said, pointing out that "it weakens the position of the commission -- both politically and symbolically -- in
    future negotiations. If people can negotiate this kind of delay to existing information ... which we should have complete and full access to, how are we going to get new

    Breitweizer agrees there are worrying implications for the future. "This is not the last time that the commission is going to be asking for documents," she said. "If every one
    expects that they can force delay by putting up a fight, it is going to impede the commission's work."

    Al Felzenberg, the commission spokesman, said U.S. government officials asked for, and were granted, the chance to review the documents, "as a courtesy."

    "We don't think that a delay of five to seven days is an excessive burden on the commission," he told UPI. "The (commission) chairman (former GOP New Jersey Gov.
    Thomas H. Kean) thought that was appropriate ... This is not unusual in government."

    Felzenberg says the affair is a storm in a tea cup. "I don't think this is a setback ... Because (the work of the commission) is so important to the American people, there's a
    lot of interest in every detail."

    Justice Department spokeswoman Barbara Comstock agrees.

    "The vast majority of documents were released to the commission without any delay," said Comstock.

    She says the documents that were delayed needed to be reviewed "in case they raised any privilege issues."

    But Breitweizer points out there would be no basis for claiming executive privilege as the transcripts had already been made available to members of the intelligence
    committee. "On the merits, (the administration) did not have a leg to stand on in asserting executive privilege ... we knew that. So why the delay?" she asks.

    Asked how any question of privilege could attach to transcripts of evidence already given by officials to congress, Comstock said, "It was just an abundance of caution."

    Breitweizer said she is sympathetic to the motives of commission officials, but remains concerned.

    "My understanding is that they have a good working relationship with the administration and this (delay) was extended as a courtesy to maintain that. I understand that. But
    by the same token, we want to make sure that this doesn't set a precedent ...

    She says she will raise the issue at Thursday's meeting of the commission, but in the meantime she is glad the issue appears to have been resolved.

    Felzenberg says that Thursday's meeting of the 10-member commission will also review staffing issues -- the panel has nearly finished hiring its full staff compliment -- and
    set a date for the next public hearing, expected in mid- to-late May.

    Copyright © 2001-2003 United Press International
  8. by   Mkue
    I think Dennis Miller did write something similar. I do enjoy it though !
  9. by   wv_nurse 2003
    I like it too! If only it could really happen......
  10. by   Mkue
    Dennis Miller appeared on Fox the other night !

    He is funny and a pretty smart guy too