Pinky Swear....

  1. [FONT=Fixedsys]Hi everyone,
    [FONT=Fixedsys] Please forgive me if I have posted this in the wrong spot (as I have been known to do . I have an acquaintance who lost a son overseas to the war and everyone's position in that regard not withstanding, I tried to write something to comfort her at least a little, using what I thought I might feel if the same event occurred to me. This has been well received so if someone feels it might comfort a service family who has sufferred a loss of a loved one, please feel free to share. I haven't been on the boards awhile due to personal circumstances, but all of you have always been my best critics...Thanks and take care, Martha
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]Pinky Swear.....
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]I'm walking with you mom,
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]Just beside you in the soft dawn breeze
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]That whips in from the sea.
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]I'm splashing amidst the waves just off shore as you're strolling along the waters edge thinking of me and you when I was little. I hear you thinking that I should never have gone to war and know your heartfelt wrenching sadness. The thought there is no forever in your future.
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]But, I am right here mom.
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]I sense your ambivalence as you struggle to balance Patriotic pride with grief; despair with anger. There is no other way to do it but wrap the entire mess up in a nest of sadness.
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]I am right beside you watching the waves dance in time with the tears that drop from your tired eyes. Their salty sadness joins the mighty ocean.
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]I'm right here mom. You are so amazingly beautiful. Such an awesome mom[FONT=Kino MT][FONT='Kino MT']. [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus] You're thinking I didn't remember all the kooky things we did that YOU made me do, like blowing the ends of straws to each other whenever we went to a restaurant, or kicking each other under the table.
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]When you talk out loud to answer questions from some secret place I never understood, I am here to listen. I try so hard to whisper that I'm ok even though I just know you aren't yet ready to listen. It's kind of like being almost asleep and trying to wake up and talk but no one hears me.
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]But, you will mom. Someday, YOU will.
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]I sit beside you on the dune as you painstakingly draw my name in the sand, surrounded by hearts as your tears continue to drop. Surely the ocean has more than enough salt water, mom...
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]I remember you and me giggling excitedly foraging for shells and the ever valuable (according to grandpa) white stones for good luck. I had my own special beach rock with some kind of stripe right through it that I absolutely would not throw back. You stayed up late to polish and carve my name on it. I love that you did that because you were and are the coolest mom. We had such an amazing summer that year and you told me to promise that I would never do drugs or drink or if I did decide to do any of those things, to come to you or call and you wouldn't make any judgments because you only wanted to know that I was ok. We both agreed that might not mean a butt kicking at some point, but I promised...
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]I kept my beach rock close to my heart the entire time mom. I think it is still somewhere in my duffle bag. I guess, because it was such a tangible part of you and me, it was destined to come along for my ride...
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]I'm here mom...Right beside you. I wish you knew that when you stumble I am here. I just wish you knew....
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]Remember the day we discovered there were two tidal pools next to each other at Horizons beach and two different types of crabs? Fiddler and hermit crabs. That was really neat. That same day you found a huge green marble that rolled in with the tide and swore that it was the petrified eye of King Neptune. I was never truly certain that it wasn't.
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]That's another thing that may be floating somewhere in my bag. All those things to remind me of how much I love you mom.
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]I'm the reason your sleepy seeds are so magnificent,
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]Because I visit you in dreams you only sometimes recall.
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]But I promise you I'm here mom...
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]I'm in the light that sparkles off the ocean,
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]And the dewy mist of morning.
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]I'm here beside you when you hear something that only YOU can hear.
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]That's the never-ending energy of my love and laughter for you.
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]I'm just right here mom.
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]When the wind rustles through the trees, or you feel my presence surrounding you, I'm here.
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]I wish and hope you know and knew how much I so loved and appreciated your time with me. Please understand through your grief that I felt privileged to serve our country and give my life to a cause more noble than any in recent history.
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]It didn't hurt. Honest.
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]Pinky Swear...
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]I never told you but even overseas I always said "our pinky swear" to myself whenever we set out on patrol. "Pinky swear, in the air, touch your nose, to the toes, and love you forever that's how it goes." Used to worry the cap would think me nuts if he heard it but I imagine he had his own special thing to say.
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]I'm with you my sweet mom,
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]And I will always be.
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]Truly, it didn't hurt, because I know that is what you're thinking.
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]What I am thinking though, is how very sad I would be if you continued your life towards abject despair. Then you could not move on and I want you to keep living your life. I am right beside you with my head on your shoulder, like the nights you let me stay up for popcorn and movie parties when I couldn't stay awake. My arms surround you in a soft endless hug.
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]I'm the last reserve of strength that gets you through the milliseconds that eventually turn into a day. I am here when you finally fitfully close your eyes at night, exhausted from the sleeplessness and crying all those tears. I am the kiss of every rain drop and shooting star. You will find the special blueberry bushes in the woods each time you go searching. And someday you WILL go searching again. Even though I can't eat the delicious blueberry pie, I will be right beside you wishing that I could, and wishing too that you move forward and leave the brunt of sadness behind. I will never be left behind because God is giving me haven and it is more magnificent than anything I could ever describe.
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]I am no longer physically with you, but my energy and love transcends the annals of time.
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]Don't cry for very long or the world will pass you by and that would be terrible for the world. That would make me sad and sad is something you never wanted me to be.
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]When the wind tickles you with an unexpected gusty kiss,
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]Or a butterfly gently taps you in mid-flight.
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]Please know that I am with you,
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]And you will be alright.
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]Here I am mom, that isn't just a little sweep of wind that lifted the hair off your neck. It was me.
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]I love you mom and I will be with you always.
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]Pinky Swear.......
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]Written by Martha J. Crowninshield O'Brien
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus] [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]July 10, 2006[FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]Dedicated to military men and women and their families
    [FONT=Papyrus][FONT=Papyrus]Do not reproduce without permission of the author
  2. 13 Comments

  3. by   VivaLasViejas

    That has to be the sweetest, and saddest, piece of prose I've ever read. My soldier-daughter's former fiance was killed in Iraq last fall, and this makes my heart break all over again for his family. Beautifully written, and guaranteed to keep the Kleenex manufacturers in business for some time.............
  4. by   dianah
    Beautiful, beautifully sad and peaceful all at once. Thank you for thinking, in the midst of your own troubles, to post it here for someone else in theirs.
  5. by   Mermaid4
    Thank you so much for your kind replies ...And I am so sorry for the losses and sadness the words may have brought back to mind. My mother read this and knew that I had my oldest son in mind when I wrote it. He is ok, but in thinking about how I might feel, I remembered so many things between he and I growing up. Bless all those who have had to deal with this sort of loss on such a personal level. Thank you again, for allowing me to share. Martha
  6. by   SmilingBluEyes

    and i mean it. you have a real talent there, and a good heart.
  7. by   Mermaid4
    Awwww...Thank you. I am not sure if it is a good thing or a not so good thing if I make mySELF cry when I read something I wrote.....My oldest son, who just turned 24 (the inspiration for this piece), just came home and surprised me (having been in a conspiracy to do so with my husband for some time) at a football game. Lately I have been thinking and dreaming of him and bugging my husband about it...Must be the psychic connection.....I just "know" there are parents out there who feel that very same thing. I have four children and with the oldest and youngest could just "think" at them to move or kick in utero and they would...So, although I have no real idea why these words came specifically to my mind, I am honored to share them with all of you and thanks again for the wonderful words.....Appreciate and admire all of you....Pinky Swear! [[[[]]]Time for bed for this tired night nurse....
  8. by   donsterRN
    This is beautiful.

    Thanks so much for writing and posting it.
  9. by   leslie :-D
    what a love story....
    this is what happens when 2 souls merge as 1.
    your poem transcends every powerful and intimate connection that only mother and child can share.
    my 6 yo dtr, who died sev'l yrs ago, hugged me as i read your poetry.
    thank you martha.
    God has truly blessed you.
    pinky swear.

  10. by   indigo girl
    That was so heart felt, who could not be affected? Thank you for sharing your feelings.

    I ask that all of our loved ones who are serving now during this dangerous time, be protected, and surrounded in Love and the Highest Light.

  11. by   Spidey's mom
    Thank you - beautiful.

    I got a call at 2 a.m. today from a classmate of my #2 son - he was trying to call my son and got mixed up . . . he is in the Army Rangers and has served in Iraq and seen alot in his young life. He kept apologizing for calling so early - I just said "honey, stop . . I'm already up getting ready for work but even so, you can call here anytime".

    Our kids - they are so brave and honorable.

  12. by   Roy Fokker
    That was wonderful - thanks for sharing!

    I've kept note of your work - from "It tickles" and others to this latest one here and I have to say that I admire your talent
  13. by   LoriAlabamaRN
    You are incredibly talented, that was sincere and touching. Thank you so much for sharing!
  14. by   Mermaid4
    {{{}}} to all of you....A stronger power than me writes the words...Bless you all, always.....Miss Martha