personal life vs professional life

  1. alright alright I confess....
    I have not yet learned the fine art of balancing
    ones professional life with their personal life.

    some of my friends are getting married this year
    and I'm wondering if I have put too much into my professional life while I'm young instead of trying to work out the personal life type issues.

    as proud as I am of my accomplishments
    I wonder,and sit here with more than a bit of jealousy , if I am the one missing out

    everyone tells me that what I am doing is so important, and that My life must be really rewarding, in away it most definitely is.....

    then again, not saying that I wanna be the one getting married RIGHT NOW or anything , its just ,well, I wanna strike a balance
    is it possible to be successful in both your professional and personal life?

    people tell me that they are envious of my life, and what I do, and I wanna look at them like they have bananas for heads, cuz where I'm standing, their little lives with their husbands and their children doesnt seem so bad......
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  2. 23 Comments

  3. by   ziggyRn
    Wendy, what i find is that shifts really affect our social life...yes, know we got to do them, but if it's becoming an issue, then might be worth getting a regular hrs job. it's like...having a weekend off..after finishing nights on Sat am..what kind of weekend is that? Too tired to enjoy it...falling asleep in a restaurant Sat night... LOL
  4. by   micro
    Wendy, keep on keepin on.........
    the two will come together.........
    i was so envious of an older brother of mine.....that didn't settle down until he was older............and had his and she had her act together..........get my drift.........
    course he isn't in health care, but .........hehehehehehe

    but hey, micro is up way too late.........work and sleep and allnurses.com.......time for a road trip and vacate away.........#'s
  5. by   live4today
    I say if you are happy living your life the way you want to live it right now, then be content in that. You will know when it is time for you to mix the two (family and career). If you aren't feeling the urge right now, don't jump into it just because everyone around you is "in a family way" with a husband and children. Ask yourself if you really want a husband and children, how many children you want, and if you are READY to create that challenge for yourself right now.
  6. by   hapeewendy
    thanks guys, I didnt mean to sound all pitiful and woe is me , although re reading that post it sounds like I did come across that way.
    yes I'm happy......
    happy but lacking something.....
    just what would make me do cartwheels , jump up and down happy , I dont know just yet....
    maybe I should have just said I feel stuck in a rut and leave it at that.
    you guys are again , for the umpteenth time the best.....
    and I think the shift work is doing me in , at least in the sense that my schedule is different from a lot of other ppl , decrease quality time leads to feelings of "you dont want me around anymore , or you dont make enough time for me"
    etc
    surely thats not the case, I'm just busy falling asleep over here because I'm exhausted....
    such is the life, thanks for all your support
    sometimes I do feel the urge to have the whole family deal going on , husband, couple of kids etc
    but not enough to seriously start acting on any of that right now, I'm hardly in a position to do so anyway, I dont have anyone I'm marrying in the really near future, and well, the kid thing comes part and parcel with that, unless I really see myself becoming a spinster, and then perhaps I can
    adopt a baby or something - I was joking on that one , just kidding
    weeeeeeeee
  7. by   mattsmom81
    Wendy, a lot of my high school buddies made me feel like an old maid because I didn't marry right out of school. I didn't marry til later on...and guess what, most of those old friends ended up divorced!. My marriage is still happy and thriving.

    So ....don't worry, the family stuff will come when the time is right for both of you...don't rush things...
  8. by   Jenny P
    Wendy, I think that when you have a bunch of friends all getting married at about the same time, it DOES make one feel that you are different and kind of on the outside. When I was young, there were a whole bunch of friends that got married right out of school (at about 20-21 years old), then another group when we were around 25 years old. I felt like I was missing something because I wasn't getting married too! (At that point, I wasn't ever planning on marrying; but the fact that I was becoming the "always a bridesmaid, never the bride" friend in our group was starting to unsettle me). Along came my Hubby and BOOM! I became a bride at the age of 27!

    Some of those younger bride friends of mine are now on their 2nd and 3rd husbands (I do believe they may never have had a chance to grow up and find out who they really were before they married the first time).

    So revel in what you do now. If your work is your passion; go with it. Someone who has a passion is much more interesting than someone who doesn't have one. My husband abhorred medicine and hospitals when we met; he had no interest in nursing (which has always been my passion), and I suspect that he really doesn't give a dang about it now. But he loves me, and listens to my rambling on about it (much as I listen to his passionate speeches on fishing, football, work, etc.).

    Just remember that it's always better to be a well-rounded person with more than 1 interest in life. One can balance both professional and personal lives as long as you remember to take care of yourself and be interested and passionate about what you do.
    Last edit by Jenny P on May 8, '02
  9. by   mario_ragucci
    I thought it was Happy Wendy, and not Lonely Wendy.

    I am so sorry for you that all your friends have found love, and have time to sit through dates and share intimate moments.

    Please don't let other peoples behaviors influence your real self. Yu wanna go through the lost and found box and attach to some semi-lovable person whose been re-treded several times?

    There is only one life for HappyWendy, and profession and promiscious behavior is all part of it.

    You are a dymanic and intelligent woman, HappyWendy, and relationships and love has no time limit :-(
  10. by   stressedlpn
    Dont feel bad Wendy I have the same problems I am 24 yet live the life of a hermit besides do they even allow you to wear scrubs dancing because that is all that is hanging in my closet. I however do have two wonderful children and swear that I will marry the first person whose ideal date is a couple of hours at mcdonald play land(mykids are 7 and 2) I know I started early.Anyway one of the Docs I work with swear that when we triage a pt he will ask if he is single and his annual incomeHAHA
    oh and lets not forget that at every single familyocc. I am reminded that I am the only member of my family who is not married including all cousins. My big plans for the weekend include surprise surprise wking and surfing this site. So hang in there I feel your pain
  11. by   nurs4kids
    wendy,
    I'm with mattsmom. I was 29 before I married, 31 before first kid and I wouldn't change a thing. Most of my friends from younger days are divorced and still trying to sow their wild oats. Hubby and I did our wild stuff before marriage, neither have the desire to stray now, which makes for a wonderful marriage. Have fun, enjoy...things will fall in place when it's time!!
  12. by   micro
    Wendy,
    You rock but you know that......
    but maybe "I get by with a little help from my friends.........well Wendy, count me in".............
    life is what it is...........
    married, single...........or pokadotted.............

    it is just what it is........

    so what i have learned in my advanced years..............i am a slow learner.......

    you do what makes you feel happy and feel passion about.........

    and the rest will come to you............

    micro...........

    "all shall be well,
    and all shal be well,
    and all manner of things shall be well".....

    Dame Julian of Norwich, 13th Century mystic
  13. by   Lausana
    hey wendy-
    you sound like me last summer! between june and october, 3 close friends got married (@ 20,21, & 23 respectively) needless to say i almost didn't attend the last one-i'd had it up to here with bridal showers and wedding plans! one wedding a year is all i can tolerate! but after i got over feeling like a 20 year old spinster i then remembered all the months of struggling with wedding plans my friend went through during the semester, and how one of the others quit school to get married(but wasn't having kids for 4 years?? who knows why she quit) and two of the three were becoming step moms too.

    aaahhh. i'm now relieved & just get to watch which marriages last. only 1 i can be sure of. (mean maybe, but i'm keeping those thoughts to myself of course! i wish them all the best!) :imbar

    my best friend and i sychronized our single gal griping and that helped to get it all out, and now i am just glad i didn't make the mistake of marrying young, almost did, many people assumed my bf & i would marry right when we had our son, but i just felt it was better to take our time and do all of it right, parenting and marriage, than go with the flow.(sorry that's probably a totally different discussion! but seeing other get married reminds me of that each time!)
  14. by   Stargazer
    There is only one life for HappyWendy, and profession and promiscious behavior is all part of it.
    Whaaat?

    I'm really NOT trying to start a flame war here, but did Mario just call Wendy promiscuous? 'Cause I'm not sure any of us know her well enough to be making those kinds of claims!

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