Quote from MandyInMS
Here is my problem...
Married with a 19 y/o son...my hubby is the 'tuff' parent, and I am less strict I guess you'd say :/
My son is a good kid..not the most enthusiastic..but overall a good kid..he's got a full-time job that has health insurance ..spent a year in college, which was a waste because all he wanted to do was 'play'..I didn't think he was ready for college but gave him a shot..which he blew..he's not into drugs/etoh, hasn't gotten anyone pregnant,is not an outlaw, all of which I am sooooo grateful for!!! lol
My problem lies with the relationship between my husband and son..my hubby gripes to me about our son:" he needs to grow up/be more responsible..find out what the real world is all about" which I agree with.
My son gripes to me about his Dad: "he never gives me any credit for anything I do right/is always negative towards me.." and I agree with my son too..I wish my hubby would be a little more patient/understanding about some things..growing up and being an adult takes time/experience.
They can never have a calm rational discussion..both are hard headed as h#ll..butting heads if you will... and I am always put in the middle...
Anyone who has dealt with an 'almost grown' kid and hubby.....wth do you do?????
Any advice will be appreciated .
Well, I don't have a hubby, but I do have to almost grown boys; one is 19 and the other is 21. Just my opinion but it sounds like your hubby should lighten up on your son. You say your son is a good kid and from what you write it sounds like you're right.
So he didn't make it in college, college isn't for everyone right out of highschool. If he has a full time job with insurance at 19, I would say that is pretty responsible. If he is working full time instead of out partying then I would say he has a clue as to what the real world is all about. I'd say that you have a lot to be proud of. He's only 19 so hold onto the thought that he still has a lot of growing up to do. Maybe a little family counseling with someone unbiased might be in order.
If counseling is out of the question, then I would suggest that you listen to the way your hubby talks to your son. Is your son right when he says his dad is always negative toward him? If you think he is, then you need to sit down with hubby out of son's earshot and calmy talk to him about his attitude toward son. What is your son doing or not doing that hubby finds so aggravating?
I don't know, maybe I am being to much of a mother hen, but at 19 I wouldn't be too eager for your son to be out on his own. He is working full time, so I don't think collecting rent from him would be out of the question. Also, he should be helping out with groceries and household items like toilet paper and laundry soap. (my boys use soooo much TP!) He does need to learn that these things cost money and doesn't just show up out of nowhere. One of these days though, he will be gone and you will wish for the days that you were tripping over him, so don't hope that he will move out too soon.
Anyway, it sounds like you have a son to be proud of so hang in there. Good luck! :wink2: