Parenting advice please!

  1. Hi everyone. I need some parenting advice. My 5 year old son has really been acting up for the past month or so. Before now, he was always very well behaved. ( a little sensitve, and a little bit of a temper, but well behaved) Anyway, he has really been acting up.. His preschool teachers think it may be the influence of a few other boys in class, and voiced their shock at his new behavior. One example: yesterday, he was told he couldn't put his own whipped cream on his food, so he dumped his plate and tore it up! Later, he calmed down and told his teachers sorry. He has also knocked over trashcans and things like that. His temper seems to be out of control, and I don't know what to do...does he need therapy? (my husband thinks the this is just noramal for boys!?!?) He seems to calm quickly, but how can I get him to calm before the "tantrum". I could add more, but this is the jist of it, and I want people to read it
  2. 8 Comments

  3. by   MelissaRN
    You mentioned that this is new behavior. I have found that my own children act out because of the stress of a disrupted routine. Have there been any changes at school or at home? Perhaps you could have a little talk with him during a quiet time. I have found that my kids open up when we're relaxed and doing something quiet like reading together or going out for an ice cream.
  4. by   Energizer Bunny
    Yep, I opt for the disrupted routine as well. Last November we moved, had a baby and my FIL passed away all within six weeks and boy did we see a difference in my four year olds behavior!
  5. by   skislalom
    [QUOTE=LPN2be2005]Hi everyone. I need some parenting advice. My 5 year old son has really been acting up for the past month or so. Before now, he was always very well behaved. ( a little sensitve, and a little bit of a temper, but well behaved)

    I agree it could be stress (are the other boys excluding him or picking on him?) stress from school, peers, he frustrated with schoolwork (that can be a biggie..if he doesn't understand) or a new teacher? Perhaps by the time he is ready to eat, they've ticked him off so much that it doesn't take much to push him over the edge. My eldest daughter had a horrible time with school one year because of being excluded and picked on and it affected almost every aspect of her life for a while.

    Another thing, I have another daughter that used to act out horribly when she got ear infections, is he feeling well? She never told me her ear hurt, but I learned that was one of the signs to watch for or explanations for her behavior.

    Does he realize that he's having temper and behavior problems, can you ask him what is making him so angry or frustrated...without sounding like you are punishing or scolding him. If he can start to recognize the angry monster trying to get out...perhaps you can find a way for him to control it and deal with it in a less destructive or more appropriate way?

    Good luck..I hope you can get to the root of the problem

    ~T (mom of 4 moody monsters..LOL)
  6. by   mercyteapot
    You might want to ask the teachers to make note of what was happening right before the behavior and how it was dealt with (ABC's of behavior mod: antecedent, behavior, consequence) If this is happening at home too, I'd keep a journal there as well. See if there is a pattern to the behavior. If there is, you can put together a plan to prevent meltdowns, or redirect behavior. Even if you decide to pursue therapy down the road, having the journal will be useful when you give the therapist his history.
  7. by   blondiii
    I have a grown daughter and four sons, three teenage boys still dependent. Sometimes it's like WWF around here. The one who used to throw the biggest hissies is now a physician, going to specialize in orthopedic surgery. Funny, he used to break the most toys. The 17 year old has always been the foulest when he's "coming down" with something. He is very aggressive, argumental & temperamental when he is. Yes, also ear problems and allergies with him..I've blocked out the early years... My heart goes out to you. You received excellent advice above, to cover the emotional and physical aspects of getting to the bottom of it. Setting limits is easier said than done. I do remember their uprisings went in cycles, and the bad one was never the bad one for too long of a time. Sorry for the jumble of thoughts. It's residual damage from having 5 kids in 10 years. You obviously care and are there for him; that's the main thing. Good luck & keep us updated.
  8. by   walterrn
    I've raised five incredibly selfish, self-centered, whiny children into fine adults.........................I've got nothin..................

    Walter the Nurse
  9. by   blondiii
    LOL...hahaha, sometimes I feel like that too, WalterRn!!
  10. by   LPN2be2005
    Thank all of you sooo much for your replies! It helps to know that others have experienced this and thier kids are just fine! !!!! After reading all of the posts, I really started putting everthing together...these 2 boys that are always getting in trouble in class used to pick on my son~ now he hangs out with them and doesn't get picked on, guess it works for him....but his behavior stinks! On top of that, he just got a new teacher in his class. Guess he just needs some TLC. I was just worried, especially about his bad temper. I guess my husband had a bad temper when he was young too (and he turned out okay ). I just need him to understand that even if he is mad, throwing and breaking stuff is not okay!!!

    Thanks again!