Parenting Advice Needed

  1. Hello! I was wondering if any of you can give me some advice? I am a student nurse with a 15-month-old son. I've recently enrolled my son in daycare due to the fact that I am starting my first year of ADN. My son is doing very well in the daycare setting, he behaves very well and doesn't cry when I leave him, but I'm thinking he may be suffering some sort of separation anxiety. When I pick him up from daycare as soon as he sees me he starts to whine until he gets into my arms and at home he absolutely will not leave my side. As soon as I get out of his line of vision he starts to cry and follows me about the house. I even have to lay down beside him until he falls asleep at night or when he takes his naps. (As a matter of fact, he's climbing all over me right now) As well, I try to occupy him with other things, toys, crayons, etc, etc, while I'm busy at home or trying to study, but he has to be right there with me or he's just not happy.
    My son is enrolled in a very fine daycare. I know a lot of people who send their children here and all have had wonderful things to say about the daycare and the people who work there. My son has never been in daycare until now and has been at my side since the day he was born. My son has always been a very happy baby, very active and social, and very well adjusted. So is this just an age thing (15-month-old) or is separation anxiety something that will just go away on its own with time as he gets used to the daycare. Any advice would be much appreciated!
    •  
  2. 10 Comments

  3. by   LasVegasRN
    It will go away with time as he gets used to the daycare. It will take time for him to adjust and learn to really socialize with others, but he will be fine! Yes, part of it is the age thing, but I will tell you, when he gets around 4 years old, he'll go running off without giving it a second thought! That's when you sniffle and wish he was tugging at you again! :chuckle
  4. by   JUSTYSMOM
    Hi,

    Actually, it sounds like your son is doing just fine!

    My son is 3 1/2 and has been going to daycare since he was about 6 months old. To this day, although he loves daycare, when I come to pick him up, he won't leave my side until we go to sleep.

    The way I see it, they are in school all day (which is GREAT for them). But they need that extra mommy time. They miss us just like we miss them.

    I would also recommend that you put a picture of yourself in his bag (or pin it on him) so he can look at you when he wants.

    In addition, this may sound craxy- but spend a night sleeping with one of his blankets. Then bring that blanket to school for him to use. It will smell like you and remind him of you throughout the day.

    Best of luck,

    Julie
  5. by   JailRN
    Good luck to you and your son. Yes, he's got sep. anxiety, but, he'll be ok. Actually, you're doing him a favor, socialization is the most important thing in llife. You can't teack somebody to be smart-they either are or they aren't. BUT you can teach a kid how to get along with other kids, that's the biggest thing in life.

    The hardest part is when you're tired, you have to get dinnerm get the kids a bath, story, dishes, even before you can start to study, get ready for the next day and you're still trying to unwind from this one. That's when they want to be with Mommy, and you just want to be alone. Don't forget to do something for yourself, too.
  6. by   renerian
    Lisa I think once he gets used to it he should be fine. I have five kids and went through things like that with all my kids.

    you have my total empathy,

    renerian
  7. by   jae82301
    I think that he is just trying to get as much time with you as possible. I'm a single mom and I understand what you are going through. You need to make his time with you special. No TV, Phones, etc.. Once you start doing that he probably wont be so needy. I know it's hard but try it. Set aside some special time for him It works for me.
  8. by   Altra
    I used to watch children in an after-school care program. Preschool - early elem. age. One thing I learned very quickly was that perfectly well-adjusted, well-behaved children could and frequently would have a total meltdown when mom showed up. I'm just theorizing, but I think it's sometimes the case that seeing you brings on a rush of emotion and crying is their only way of expressing it.

    You have my empathy - my daughter was in day care part time for her first year. It was very emotionally difficult at the time, but we all survived. Good luck to you!
  9. by   Mandarella
    I may have to enroll my 16 month old in daycare come this Fall, his gram can't watch him anymore. I am a wreck, I want to hug him and kiss him all the time and he gets angry with me. :kiss But when I am out of eyeshot he yells "Ma???" Louder and louder until I answer...and he LOVES to nap with me and "read" books to me. He is a mush when he wants to be.
    Daycare is contingent on the fact that we are awaiting a decision to have our 4 month old babysat by gram...she was in an accident a couple years ago and has severe neck and back pain, my oldest is just at that age where he is a busy guy and wants to explore and it really takes a toll on her. But she is thinking maybe my youngest she could watch, but she feels bad and doesn't want my son to go to daycare. Who knows...it may not even happen. If she can't do it then I will have my RN in 3 years instead of 2. Which is fine..what is meant to be is meant to be. But you are breaking my heart with your story, I do believe it is the age though. He is completely normal, take it while you can!!! Soon he will be running off with his friends and you'll only get to see him in passing.
  10. by   Energizer Bunny
    Sounds like separation anxiety to me and it will ease with time. You just have to get through this period (((((((((((hugs)))))))))))) I've got the same thing coming here!
  11. by   purplemania
    no advice to add, but I thought your post sounded like you felt guilty about not being with him. Please don't feel guilty for providing for his future and being careful about who cares for him, etc. He will adjust, but I doubt he will ever PREFER to be in daycare versus being with you---at least not for a few years when he can make friends. My 3 yr. old granddaughter cries if she has not seen her friends in daycare for a day or two! She tells us "they miss me", which they probably do, since she is such a sweetie (unbiased opinion from Nana). Your son sounds very normal.
  12. by   SmilingBluEyes
    ((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))

    Well it sure sounds as if he is behaving normally, to me. However, Your reaction to it (his behavior) is very important. Stay calm, confident, be firm, and make sure you spend plenty of time together, having fun, once you do pick him up! Hang in there!

close