Oprah Stuns Audience With Free Man Giveaway

  1. CHICAGO--The season premiere of The Oprah Winfrey Show unleashed a surprise for viewers Monday, when host Winfrey presented her studio audience with an unexpected gift: eligible men.

    "Everybody gets a man! Everybody gets a man!" said Winfrey, almost drowned out by cries of disbelief as 276 men, one for every member of the studio audience, filed onto the Oprah set.

    Hoping to top last year's season-debut surprise, when members of the studio audience received free cars, Winfrey watched elated as the men knelt before their awestruck new mates and delivered gallant kisses and professions of undying affection.

    "Signed, sealed, delivered... they're yours!" Winfrey said.
    Just a little light relief courtesy of the onion
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  2. 23 Comments

  3. by   prmenrs
    You know, I'm really gonna have to get on that show.
  4. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    I kinda wonder if the tables were turned and if it was a "free women" giveaway, if all hell would be raised about it.
  5. by   suzanne4
    How long do they get to keep them for?
  6. by   Roy Fokker
    The Onion freaking rules! :roll


    Here's another masterpiece!

    KANSAS CITY, KS--As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose Monday in this embattled Midwestern state. Scientists from the Evangelical Center For Faith-Based Reasoning are now asserting that the long-held "theory of gravity" is flawed, and they have responded to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling.
    The Onion
  7. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    Quote from suzanne4
    How long do they get to keep them for?

    And is there a returns policy?
  8. by   mercyteapot
    Nothing personal, guys, but I'd rather have the free car...
  9. by   Spidey's mom
    Quote from mercyteapot
    Nothing personal, guys, but I'd rather have the free car...
    I'm with you . . . .but I'd like all the money I'd need to fix up this old house. C'mon Oprah, it would be a drop in the bucket to you.

    steph
  10. by   Roy Fokker
    Sheesh!

    You wimmen don't know a good thing when you get one



  11. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    Quote from Roy Fokker
    Sheesh!

    You wimmen don't know a good thing when you get one



    Need to get a good one to know what a good one is, first.
  12. by   Spidey's mom
    Quote from Roy Fokker
    Sheesh!

    You wimmen don't know a good thing when you get one



    Men are a dime a dozen but a completely renovated 1920's Craftsman style home makes a woman very happy.

    steph
  13. by   live4today
    If "the man-gift" doesn't come with Oprah's money, she can keep him. I'm TIRED of living poor!

    You'd think Oprah would have MUCH BETTER things to do with her time.

    I'm no big fan of hers, and the only time I watch her shows is if I am "into" the guest(s) she may have on her show. Wonder if she'll wrap up some much needed money in a box with a big bow on it, and deliver it to my front door. I've got a mound of bills to pay that two husbands thus far haven't taken very seriously. Don't need Oprah to find me another "deadbeat man" who may leave me further in debt than I already am. Geesh! She needs a LIFE! Now...where's her man Stedman these days? :uhoh21:
  14. by   Mkue
    This could be a Jerry Springer show.. exploitation?

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