Only in America...

  1. 1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an

    2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of
    a skating rink...

    3. Only in drugstores make the sick walk all the way
    to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy
    people can buy cigarettes at the front.

    4. Only in people order double cheese burgers, large
    fries, and a diet coke.

    5. Only in banks leave safe doors open and then chain
    the pens to the counters.

    6. Only in we leave cars worth thousands of dollars
    in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

    7. Only in we use answering machines to screen calls
    and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we
    didn't want to talk to in the first place.

    8. Only in we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

    9. Only in we use the word "politics" to describe the
    process so well: "Poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning
    "bloodsucking creatures."

    10. Only in they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille

    11. Only in America...can a homeless combat veteran live in a
    cardboard box and a draft dodger live in the White House.