One Liners

  1. Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if vegtables smelled as
    good as bacon.
    That bad news travels fast ~ good news takes the scenic route.
    Middle age is when you wish you could have some of the naps you
    refused to take as a child.
    A diet is a plan for putting off tomorrow what you put on today.
    When a butterfly flaps his he excercising ?
    That I always pick the wrong line at that bank, at the store, in fact
    Plastic surgery means cutting your credit cards in half.
    That no matter how many frogs I kiss..
    I only get warts..
    The difference between a chef and a cook are the fancier entree names.
    Every dog has its' tree.
    If you get new body parts, such as new kneecaps, new hip replacements,
    you still can't deduct years from your age.
    That they don't put expiration dates on your clothes, so you never know
    when they go out of style.
    I really don't understand karate..
    like when was the last time you were attacked by a piece of wood ?
  2. 5 Comments

  3. by   Fun2, RN, BSN
    Hi Fran! These are great.

    Here's one my dh always says:

    "It's a dog-eat-dog world, and I'm wearing Milkbone underwear." :chuckle
  4. by   FranEMTnurse
    That's a good one too.
  5. by   suebird3
    how about "some days, it's not worth chewing through the restraints"? :chuckle

    i think this sums up quite a few of my shifts lately......

  6. by   Jessy_RN
    These are great.
  7. by   Thunderwolf
    Good ones!