One Liners

  1. Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if vegtables smelled as
    good as bacon.
    ***
    That bad news travels fast ~ good news takes the scenic route.
    ***
    Middle age is when you wish you could have some of the naps you
    refused to take as a child.
    ***
    A diet is a plan for putting off tomorrow what you put on today.
    ***
    When a butterfly flaps his wings..is he excercising ?
    ***
    That I always pick the wrong line at that bank, at the store, in fact
    everywhere.
    ***
    Plastic surgery means cutting your credit cards in half.
    ***
    That no matter how many frogs I kiss..
    I only get warts..
    ***
    The difference between a chef and a cook are the fancier entree names.
    ***
    Every dog has its' tree.
    ***
    If you get new body parts, such as new kneecaps, new hip replacements,
    you still can't deduct years from your age.
    ***
    That they don't put expiration dates on your clothes, so you never know
    when they go out of style.
    ***
    I really don't understand karate..
    like when was the last time you were attacked by a piece of wood ?
    •  
  2. 5 Comments

  3. by   Fun2, RN, BSN
    Hi Fran! These are great.

    Here's one my dh always says:

    "It's a dog-eat-dog world, and I'm wearing Milkbone underwear." :chuckle
  4. by   FranEMTnurse
    That's a good one too.
  5. by   suebird3
    how about "some days, it's not worth chewing through the restraints"? :chuckle

    i think this sums up quite a few of my shifts lately......

    myself
  6. by   Jessy_RN
    These are great.
  7. by   Thunderwolf
    Good ones!

close