On the cheating subject

  1. My hubby has just been caught cheating - with someone else - 0nly emails and photos so far. Would like an opinion from you guys - how much should I tolerare? Have proof (ie he admitted same) of three episodes of sleeping with other peilple (sorry about sp, but I a n kind of pised at the moment) , wondering how much you would put up with??
  2. 50 Comments

  3. by   semstr
    o you poor woman!

    three times is definitely the limit! no, over it!

    Go pack you bags,stud!
  4. by   canoehead
    Three times that you know of is enough. Obviously he has no regrets each time. If you find this behavior unacceptable you need to ditch him. Otherwise start cultivating your denial skills, or a taste for swinging.
  5. by   tiger
    kick his a** to the curb.
  6. by   Jenny P
    Think about your health, girl! In this day and age he's catting around? One of my friend had all sorts of UTI's, yeast infections, and even an STD before she figured out her 1st husband was cheating on her. Once he was gone, her health improved dramatically, and so did her life! Yours can too. He's not going to change if you know of 3 others he's slept with-- and you really don't know if it was only 3, do you? Do you have kids or any other reason to stay with the guy? You are the only one who can decide; but when you come here asking about this the way you did, I think you really want to hear that enough is enough; and he's crossed that line already!!!!
  7. by   kaycee
    Once a cheater always a cheater. Be done with him
  8. by   ValWai
    Even this may be the last time he cheated on you. But you will nver get over it. It will become a chronic ulcer and it hurts once in a while. It's painful and sad. Sorry.
  9. by   BrandyBSN
    I know what you are going through, and no matter if things change, and he gets better, will you ever be able to fully trust him? When he is 10 minutes late getting home, or not there when you call, is his cheating the first thing that your mind will jump to? Its not an easy thing to deal with. I cant tell you what to do, but please take care of yourself.
  10. by   codebluechic
    How long have you two been married? I doubt he will ever change after being busted 3 times and trying for a forth!
  11. by   Zee_RN
    You remember in nursing school how they taught you that if an individual admitted to drinking 2 beers a day it was probably 4 beers a day? He's admitted to being with 3 women....hmmmm.

    Adultery gets to be a habit. Time to kick it (him!).
  12. by   BeachNurse
    Show him the door, sweetie. How awful. I agree with the others..this is obviously a habit for him and you will never be able to trust him again. You don't need a life of worry and doubt, and of course, the possibility of STD's.
  13. by   kennedyj
    ouch! so many harsh comments from just reading a small paragraph. Typical nature of women to jump to the worst senario without knowing whats going on.

    OZ nurse,
    first evaluate how things are overall. What are your feelings toward staying together? What would happen if you split up?

    Also keep in mind that for men it is harder to be monogamous than women. I don't want to say this in a pig headed way, but sometimes men have a need to feel like they are still players in the game. This can be expressed through maybe chatting and finding internet pals. Many tend to exaggerate very much on the internet and create what they would like their ideal character. I have seen older married women and men place pictures of young teens or twenties and chat using these pics. They may say they are super stud when really nothing is happening.

    I don't know how upset I would get over emailing photos and email unless there is already an unpleasant marriage going on.

    Best of luck,
    Last edit by kennedyj on Oct 6, '01
  14. by   debbyed
    Been there, Been through that. First time thought I could change him...Nope never could. Repeated his behavior for others afterwards.

    My philosophy is to be happy, be kind to yourself.

    My advice is document, document, document than throw his stuff out on the curb and change the locks. Call a lawyer than relearn what happiness means.

    P.S. Don't forget to get tested, who knows what he brought home.